To think I’ve been uninvited

[Scottishmum1984]

I had a text from a friend a few weeks ago asking if myself and my dd, age 8, were free for a NY party she was thinking of organising. I said yes and she said she would be in touch.

Found out today she started a group WhatsApp invite with details, including a few mutual friends…

I text her casually to ask if party was still on and what could I bring… she left me on read.

I should take a hint shouldn’t I? I feel so left out, reminds me of school days..😓

Oh no that's gutting. It might end up being a total accident (she missed you off the group by accident, didn't reply as she's busy on Christmas Eve and maybe thought you had the details?!) but if not, it's horrible.
For alternative plans, could you and DD have a nice evening at home?

Not great form but me being me probably wouldn't go as even if she says it's a huge mistake, I'd still wonder if it's just she's been caught and using it as an excuse.
I guess you're not that close to know either way but as others have said, make other arrangements.

Let me guess... school mum friend?

That’s no friend. That’s a shitty thing to do to someone don’t take it personally it’s her loss. Nasty bitch.

Generally
Not invited ....don't go
Not told...don't ask

But confusing when it's already been mentioned to you

Wow that’s so rude of your friend! I think you have been uninvited OP - for who knows what reason. I’d look to make plans with your DD now - even if you’re staying in the two of you plan something so it is fun. I’d then ask friend in the new year what happened and why you were uninvited.

It's Christmas Eve! If she has kids, she's probably busy and not thinking about NYE right now. I leave my friends on read all the time if I'm too busy to reply. It's not the insult people seem to think it is. If you haven't heard by Friday, I'd reach out again. And if you've been uninvited, I'd just ask her why.

Does she usually act like such a bitch? I hope it's just a mistake as that is horribly cruel

She's not a true friend. Hope youre okay x

You're not invited girl, sorry

Make other plans so that if you get a pity invite, you can say no x

Omg, defo don't turn up! x

I'm a bit torn on this one. A couple of weeks ago, I asked friends what they were up to on NYE, said we were thinking of putting a party on for adults and kids, nothing decided just putting feelers out, but everyone said "ooh lovely" and one friend asked if they could bring 2 other friends (plus family) they had loosely made plans with.Tbh, the numbers were getting way too high and it was starting to feel very stressful. In the end, I abandoned the original plan of being host but will still celebrate with a handful of said friends at one of their houses now. What im saying is that when i asked if folk were free a couple of weeks back, I didn't think of it as a definite invitation, more a tentative enquiry and said I'd keep people in the loop and i did but still OP you've given me food for thought. I'd hate to think they thought they had been uninvited.

I think in isolation you could have been accidentally left off the WhatsApp group or she could have forgotten to reply to your message. But together, it does seem like she’s uninvited you.

Don’t turn up, why would anyone want to be somewhere they weren’t invited to (anymore)? Don’t lower yourself to doing that.

Sorry OP, that’s really shit of your friend. Gutless to phase you out rather than be direct.

There's a thread similar to this every year, so you're not alone - many, many people seem to have utter dickheads like this in their life.

Make more awesome plans for NY, even if she eventually replies x

Expecting her to reply promptly on Christmas Eve is a bit of an expectation, frankly. I've been rushed off my feet, and messages have had to wait, unless urgent.

OP did you message her today? I would say wait a couple of days until you pass judgement. Could be that she's just accidentally overlooked you by not adding you to the group. It's Christmas eve, everyone's busy. I've only just sat down and answered my messages from today.

Send another message - not excusing her but it's a busy time of year and she may have overlooked replying.

Tell her your DD is excited and looking forward to going, as are you, and you'd like to know what you can do to help out.

Hard to take issue with that surely?

You messaged her Christmas eve asking if there's anything you should bring to a party which is over a week away. I'd be more surprised if she HAD replied immediately than if she hasn't by now. You are being completely unreasonable to assume someone not replying on a day on which most people are completely hectic means anything. I'd give it until at least the 27th before thinking anything other than that she's busy over Christmas with her family.

I hope you let everyone you contacted know that you had decided not to have people over after all?

Of course!! And in plenty of time. I was totally transparent. They were all fine in their responses to me.

And we have made alternative arrangements this holiday so we still see each other but in smaller groups. I am not an exclusive person and I think that's why the party became untenable.

A friend had a friend like this. She was going through an absolutely rotten time and this person was constantly inviting her to wondeful parties etc but never followed through it aas so unbelievably cruel.

But she was invited and without a definite No you are not invited, she hasn’t actually been uninvited

I would turn up with dd’s friend and her mum

No, turning up uninvited would be too awkward. Nor should you send another message or call her. She has read your message and is choosing not to respond.

I agree with those who suggested that you try to make the day special for your daughter. What about a cinema screening of Cinderella or the Nutcracker? Both the Royal Ballet and the ENB have performances being screened over Christmas/New Year.