Annoyed at DD's friends birthday party on Christmas Eve

[ShabbaRAnkzz]

DD has been invited to her friends birthday party tomorrow (Christmas Eve). It's from 12-4 and parents have been asked to attend / stay with the children.
This takes out a block of Christmas Eve when I've got so much other stuff I need to do.
Its one of my daughters clotest friends so I will need to attend.
AIBU to this it's a very inconvenient time?

No that is not what OP said. To expect a patent to lose 4 hrs (which will be 5 with travel) on Christmas Eve is ridiculous.

Op why do you have to stay? I don't understand this modern trend as when my kids and grandkids were little parents never stayed! Also 4 hrs is way too long!

It's all crazy!

I assume you only found out about this today?...

My daughter (adult now) was born Xmas eve.

I recognised that if i wanted children, to come once she was of school age, i really needed to make it appealing to parents so they could get all their last minute jobs done. Whilst their child was entertained elsewhere.

So roped my family in to helping and hubby always took Xmas eve off as well.

And it was also along party 3 -4 hours so it made it worthwhile for other parents.

I think it unreasonable to expect parents to stay.

Maybe talk to her about next year?

I can’t understand why you would be expected to stay given DDs age. Just drop and run.

We would not go, that is already filled with company comimg and family/childrens xmas eve service, though we would have been free after boxing day. Maybe in future the mum needs to rethink this, asking for parents and for 4 hours, xmas week is not reasonable.

Good grief on they're 6&7 the parents do NOT need to stay. Madness.

oh OP you're never going to admit that you received the invitation and gave your RSVP a month ago, are you?

And that your lack of preparation is now causing your non-emergency.

@TwinklyNight presumably, upon receipt of the invitation you would have glommed that 24th December is a busy day for you and declined? or if you hadn't already made other arrangements, you would have accounted for this little event in your planning?

Presumably you had notice. Just plan your time to allow for it

Yeah f—k the birthday girl and her mum.
Joy to the world.

4 hours is to long for a child's party irrespective of the date. 2 hours is rule of thumb.
Depending on age and your daughters understanding. Say you can do 2 !

I'd go.
Ultimately it's up to you though.

My daughter's birthday is the 28th and we always had a sleepover on new year's eve (she's 23 now!) we were always packed with kids, siblings neighbours etc.

I never asked a parent to stay though, that's a bit weird, but I can see it would be a nice idea for you to do something like that. And it'll most probably be a Christmas themed party to get you in the mood!

I absolutely wouldn’t be upset about them having the party on the child’s birthday - Christmas birthdays can be so unfair to the kid. On years we’re home for Christmas we’d attend (child and one parent) and honestly Christmas Eve would be worlds easier to make work than during the day on the last weekend before Christmas when we’re always utterly overloaded. Early afternoon on Christmas Eve tends to be a down-time in comparison.

If the time clashed with family celebrations I would feel comfortable saying so. And if it didn’t work for a parent to stay I would tell the birthday girl’s parents that that’s the obstacle for us and see what they say. Or if there’s a common friend going whose parents DH & I knew I’d consider asking them if they could take ours too (it’s the type of favor we do for others so I’m comfortable asking).

BTW the last time we got a party invitation that included parents staying the wording was ambiguous but the hosts actually just meant to invite parents and siblings to join and weren’t trying to make it a requirement.

My kids BFFs birthday is tomorrow too.
Crucially though, she's been invited over for 2hrs for a wee party in the morning and the mum is well aware I have a ton of wrapping to do so said "drop her off early if you need to crack on- don't stay!"
It's the 4hrs not being able to leave at that age that is annoying. By 6 most parties are drop and run.

Were you hoping to be able to drop and go and now just found out parents expected to stay? As otherwise you should have just RSVPd no the first place

why is it "ridiculous"? You might have plans for Christmas Eve, many of us are actually all done and are just entertaining the kids.

If it's not convenient, simply decline.

I would just plan nothing else than the friends party, really a non-issue.
It would have been extremely inconvenient at the weekend, when we did family Christmas activities around all the Christmas "parties" from their various sports clubs.

As the mother of a Christmas Eve baby (now adult) who has never been able to celebrate their own birthday with friends because people always prioritise Christmas, it’s really sad for the kids in this situation.

We always try and make a thing if it with family, but increasingly he doesn’t even get cards because people are just thinking about Christmas.

I don't think it's an inconvenient time as long as it is fairly local but I do think it is unreasonable to expect parents to stay.

Yes, that's a bad time to have a birthday party, and four hours is crazy long, too.

One of my cousins was born on Christmas, and he tended to have half-birthday parties when he was young, so he didn't have to compete with all the December festivities. Maybe that's taking it too far for some, but choosing Saturday or Sunday would've been a perfectly good alternative.

7 years old? Like fuck would I be hanging around! Does your DD need you to stay? I'd call the mum and say either you leave DD in her care or you can't bring her at all.

You couldn't pay me to attend a FOUR HOUR kids party, never mind on Xmas eve. Why is it so ridiculously long.

Four hours is wild. I would have rsvp'd no just for that.

I agree even if their birthday is on Christmas Eve most kids don’t celebrate on their actual birthday and wait until a weekend.

If you get on with anyone attending, could you slip off for 2 hrs and get your stuff done and other parent there minds your child and then you come back and they slip off to get bits done

One of my dc just had a bday and we always do the party in January as I cannot fit in another thing over Xmas myself nevermind try and organise other people. I want people to be able to come to the party and enjoy it, not be fitting it in and clockwatching like we do when we’re invited to parties in December. Also a 4 hour party any day of the week is a no - they’ve all had enough after 2 hours anyway. Good luck op.

I wouldn’t mind DD being invited to a standard 2 hours party at this age but 4 hours is a big commitment and having parents to stay for 4 hours is a big ask even on normal weekend.
I don’t think hosting parents have thought it through carefully enough.