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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed at DD's friends birthday party on Christmas Eve

253 replies

ShabbaRAnkzz · 23/12/2024 20:26

DD has been invited to her friends birthday party tomorrow (Christmas Eve). It's from 12-4 and parents have been asked to attend / stay with the children.
This takes out a block of Christmas Eve when I've got so much other stuff I need to do.
Its one of my daughters clotest friends so I will need to attend.
AIBU to this it's a very inconvenient time?

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 23/12/2024 20:36

ShabbaRAnkzz · 23/12/2024 20:33

Her birthday is on Christmas Eve but they could have had it Sat / Sun. Most kid's birthday fall on a school day and they have the party on a Saturday or Sunday

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I was actually coming to say that for a lot of kids their birthday always falls in term time, so it would usual to chose the nearest weekend. So it doesn't follow that the child has to have their party on the day of their birthday.

JubileeJuice · 23/12/2024 20:37

I would absolutely not be doing this on Christmas Eve, no matter how close friends they were. We have family traditions that we participate in on Christmas Eve and I prefer it to Christmas day. Ridiculous day to have a child's party.

Tohaveandtohold · 23/12/2024 20:38

That’s 4 hours on Xmas eve, I wouldn’t attend for that length of time, I could do 2 hours or something. It’s my daughter’s birthday today but we did her party at the weekend because the venue don’t do parties during the school holidays. If that wasn’t the case, I would have had her party today and people can either come or not. It’s her birthday, you don’t have to come but you can’t expect her to never celebrate on the date just cos it’s not convenient for you

StormingNorman · 23/12/2024 20:38

ShabbaRAnkzz · 23/12/2024 20:33

Her birthday is on Christmas Eve but they could have had it Sat / Sun. Most kid's birthday fall on a school day and they have the party on a Saturday or Sunday

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The birthdays of children born over Christmas are so often overlooked it seems mean to begrudge the girl a party on her birthday.

Presumably you had a bit of notice and were able to plan your time? As inconvenient as it is for you, her parent have it worse. Imagine planning a birthday party for the day before Christmas!

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 23/12/2024 20:38

How old are they?

kindlyensure · 23/12/2024 20:38

How old are the kids? Because 12-4 is a party length of epic proportions. No one needs to party for that long.

NiftyPeachDreamer · 23/12/2024 20:40

kindlyensure · 23/12/2024 20:38

How old are the kids? Because 12-4 is a party length of epic proportions. No one needs to party for that long.

Agreed. Either drop dd off or leave at 2pm.

Miresquire · 23/12/2024 20:40

Four hours is the ridiculous bit here. Two would be fine. How old are they and what are they doing?!

Reugny · 23/12/2024 20:40

Closest friend or not, if you had to do stuff on Christmas Eve because family are coming to stay or you were travelling then you should have declined.

Btw Myself and DP are working tomorrow so if my DD was invited to a birthday party we would have simply declined.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 23/12/2024 20:40

4 hours seems a long time for a birthday party, why didn't you just rsvp with we'd love to attend but have to leave at 2 for another commitment. What kind of children's party lasts 4 hours

Crunchymum · 23/12/2024 20:40

You should have declined when you recieved the invite.

No use bemoaning it now you've accepted the invite.

HouseMoveHopeful · 23/12/2024 20:41

Mumdiva99 · 23/12/2024 20:29

Well having an Xmas eve child myself I can sympathise with the party throwing parents. We usually had parties before term ended or first weekend back in school in January. But its a bit rubbish when a child can't celebrate on the actual day.
You could just decline the invite. Or you can schedule it in and enjoy the time. It might be lots of fun.

Few kids have parties on thier actual birthdays. It’s the same for summer born kids - no one is around over august so you push it to July or September.

Edingril · 23/12/2024 20:42

So what people prefer the ex to do have your child scrub the toilets so they don't have fund with their dad?

Isn't it good for the children to have fun with their other parent?

JMSA · 23/12/2024 20:42

I would go but a 4 hour party on Christmas Eve - which you have to attend - isn't ideal 😬

Hankunamatata · 23/12/2024 20:42

Wouldnt bother me as I'd usually be working anyway

JMSA · 23/12/2024 20:43

Having to stay for 2 hours would be fine.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 23/12/2024 20:43

Crap timing if you still have stuff to do but the birthday girl can't help when she was born and I would still take my kids if I wasn't working.

Mashroom · 23/12/2024 20:43

4 hours is crazy for Christmas Eve and I have a child with a Christmas birthday .. sorry it’s really selfish

they could have had it sat of sun for sure

Teeheehee1579 · 23/12/2024 20:43

Issue is not the party it’s asking parents to stay. Presumably they are reception age and first born (we’d have stayed with first born but by number 3 we used to drop and go). I’d just say you can stay for a couple of hours but not the whole thing, do they want you to take your DD away or pick her up later. 4 hours is also ridiculous for reception kids - 2 hours fine

LocationChange · 23/12/2024 20:44

|’Danish be delighted with this invite, seeing as we seem to be one of the few families in South London that hasn’t either gone abroad, gone to Cornwall or gone to stay for an extended break with extended family elsewhere.

Afraidofhimrightnow · 23/12/2024 20:44

ShabbaRAnkzz · 23/12/2024 20:33

Her birthday is on Christmas Eve but they could have had it Sat / Sun. Most kid's birthday fall on a school day and they have the party on a Saturday or Sunday

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I think then it's not an issue. It wouldn't bother me at all. I would go and enjoy the celebrations with my child or say we couldn't if we had plans. I would never expect a party the weekend before Christmas for a Christmas Eve birthday.

Afraidofhimrightnow · 23/12/2024 20:45

I've assumed the four hours doesn't mean you have to stay that long!

MaggieFS · 23/12/2024 20:45

Surely you've know about it for a few weeks and just plan around it?

But I would agree 12-4 is a VERY long time for a party.

raropo · 23/12/2024 20:45

how old is your DD? 4hrs is a bit of an ask.

Whatabouthow · 23/12/2024 20:46

A four hour party?! Zero chance I'd be going to that at any time of year.