Annoyed at DD's friends birthday party on Christmas Eve

[ShabbaRAnkzz]

DD has been invited to her friends birthday party tomorrow (Christmas Eve). It's from 12-4 and parents have been asked to attend / stay with the children.
This takes out a block of Christmas Eve when I've got so much other stuff I need to do.
Its one of my daughters clotest friends so I will need to attend.
AIBU to this it's a very inconvenient time?

Why on earth are they asking parents to stay? They'll be so crowded, surely.

Where lots of parents work it would be difficult to do an after school party-.especially if you expect the parents to attend.

I would love this, we have everything done already as I'm not facing the madness of Christmas eve shopping.
My kids are hyped up and can't wait for Christmas, having a fun party with their friends where they can run off some of their excitement would be brilliant. And I can just sit and chat to other mums or dads. Perfect!

It’s a work day for a portion of people, but schools are out so someone is already watching the invited kids.
Yes and the person watching them might be grandma, who’s stuck them in front of a film for two hours so she can get on with making her gravy and stuffing as part of all the prep ahead of hosting Christmas tomorrow. Then she was planning to get the kids to help her lay the table and make mince pies. So she can’t spare 4 hours plus travel to take them to a party. Or maybe whoever’s looking after them can’t drive to get them there. Or the person watching them might be a friend who has their own kids to look after too. “Someone is watching the kids” doesn’t mean someone has the capacity to take them.

Maybe they won’t invite her next year if you’ve got a gob on. How will your daughter feel then? Be grateful she’s invited. When they get older and they start not getting invited is the real kicker.

Of course not. As I said, this (like any other scheduling option right around Christmas) is obviously not going to work for a lot of invitees. But I don’t think it being a work day is a significant part of that.

This reminds of all the people who advised DH and I to 'take March off' when family planning!

It’s DS2’s birthday today, and now we also have DGS”s birthday on Boxing Day! We didn’t do parties on Christmas Eve, it’s a daft idea imo, not only for the attendees but I couldn’t have coped with it either. DS1’s birthday is in the middle of December, so while they were at birthday party age they had a joint one round about then.

Once they got a bit older we’d take a friend to the cinema and out for lunch on Christmas Eve. There was never any shortage of people who would agree to come to that, because it gave their parents time to get things done for Christmas Day.

Christmas Birthdays can be a bit shit, tbh so I can see why they wanted for her to have a party however imo it would have made more sense to have had it at the weekend.

In fairness this also applies to many families on a standard weekend too, although obviously there’s more pressure at Christmas. I’m assuming other parents have thrown birthday parties through the year with the expectation that the guests parents will shift family plans to attend. This is the same, it’s just it’s Christmas Eve. In the end it’s just a child celebrating their birthday with their friends and feeling special for a day - which is hard when their day is overshadowed by Christmas. I personally would welcome a 4 hour break from Christmassing but I get that everyone has a lot on. Also I’m biased as my DC’s birthday is close to Christmas and I’ve seen the disappointment on her face when invitations are declined or worse accepted but are no shows.

But she dosnt have to have her party on Christmas Eve. We celebrate all my DDs birthdays as a family but because their birthdays are always in the school holidays we have parties during term time. It dosnt detract from their birthdays at all, they have a fuss made over then on their actual birthday by us and then a party on a different date where they are the centre of attention from their friends.

I'd have gone, not for four hours, but a couple. We have traditions too, but I'd have worked them around this where possible. Birthdays at Christmas can be hard, I wouldn't want a child to feel less special because their birthday fell on an inconvenient day.

Are parents usually off work (I know not all jobs, but most) and around with their kids at the weekend? Yes. Is Christmas Eve a working day for many? Yes.
On your typical weekend do people have special things planned and/or lots of preparation for a big event the next day? No - of course it’s possible but not expected, whereas on Christmas Eve it’s very likely people will be busy.
Also I’m aware of the birthday party disappointment as one of mine has a summer holidays birthday, which is a nightmare. We have to accept that people will be away and many unable to attend, or hold it at a different time.

If the parents were smart, they would have held the kid's party open-house style, so that people could drop in and out over the course of the afternoon.

That might generate more attendance than expecting families to commit to a four-hour (plus travel & prep time) block on Christmas Eve of all days.

Exactly. This is practical and realistic.

The birthday kid can have parties at a later age when it won't inconvenience the guests' parents so much. Meanwhile taking a guest or two on an outing is more sensible.

I don't think declining a silly invitation requires one to gin up an extensive alternative offer like making cupcakes or an outing. This is Harriet's parents' problem to solve, not their guests.

Gosh, I thought I was a grinch but the OP takes the biscuit.

Why chime in with nothing but a personal insult toward the OP, who has a perfectly legitimate concern about having half her Christmas Eve hijacked by a child's birthday party that could have been held last weekend?

People who resort to ad hominem attacks are showing their own weakness more than they realize.

"hijacked"? over-reacting much?

If it's not convenient, DECLINE. For many of us, it would have been great timing.

And if we had booked a holiday somewhere, then I would just have declined.. how hard can it be.

that could have been held last weekend?
could have been, but then it would have been inconvenient for the family and for other guests. Why should the party be made around the OP's preferences?

I feel sorry for parents, who put a lot of efforts and time planning a party for their kids - it's a big deal for kids - and who will be lumped with someone with a sour face because she wasn't consulted in advance about the arrangements.

Just me - in our family if we can’t make a party of a dear friend - we’d do something at a different time to celebrate 1:1 with them.. be they another adult or a kid…

diary’s often clash with everyone having hectic lives - but we make time to celebrate in a different way if we can’t make an event of a friend.

each to their own though - nothing wrong with just saying - ‘sorry I can’t come’ to an invitation if it’s not a good time for you.

Merry Christmas !

At 6-7 years, it's odd to expect parents to attend. Most hosts would actively discourage it. 4 hours is quite long for a party on Christmas Eve.

It's annoying but I'd probably let her attend.

What a ridiculous post and strange amount of anger for someone presumably not involved.

This is on the inviter's parents, not people who wouldn't be able to go.
In our family, 3 of us have birthdays in school holidays. One August, one New Year's Day - all times you wouldn't get people to come to parties. So, we always held their friends parties at other times. We were really positive about how lucky they were to have 3 birthday celebrations each. We usually did something just house family on the day, and we had family over the nearest weekend, then we had a party their friends could come to at a time when it was likely that their friends could come. They loved it. Getting "3 birthdays" spread over a few weeks, rather than cramming it in to one week and being disappointed not many friends could come to their party.

YANBU. I have a niece whose birthday is Christmas Eve and her mum has never held a party on Christmas Eve. As a family we used to go for a meal to celebrate and birthday parties were held on 22nd or 23rd.

To have a 4 hour party as well is really selfish. If she must have a party on the day then 10.30-12.30 is enough as it still leaves you time to run errands. I wouldn’t be going no matter how close my child was as we have far too much to do on Christmas Eve as well as our own family traditions to enjoy.

But I’d have thought it’s usual for a child’s party to be on the day regardless of day of the week, if it falls in the school holidays

My son’s birthday is 22/12, we had his party early in December and then treated him to activities on his birthday as a family. Saves any of these kind of reactions and cancellations that would break his heart. It’s such a busy time of year and really hard to ensure that a young child feels like their day is celebrated like their friends born earlier in the year ❤️

If my DC had a birthday on Xmas eve, I would have planned it for the weekend before. More friends would come which is better. Then do something else special on the day.