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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm not liable to pay this?

115 replies

cadburyegg · 22/12/2024 11:43

I am panicking.

My exh moved out 4 years ago. About a year before that, he'd been made redundant. He did get a new job just before we broke up.

A couple of weeks ago I got a letter for him, this is unusual as he's changed everything to his new address, but anyway I gave it to him. He's told me that it was an invoice from his previous employer (the one he worked for before his 2020 redundancy) to say he'd been overpaid by £1000 and needs to repay it pronto. He's said that because we were together at the time and I kept some savings when he left, that I should pay half of it.

I've told him absolutely not but he's guilt tripping me and now I'm worried if I should morally give him something? I did have about 3k in savings but I've since spent it on house repairs and divorce costs. We are now divorced and the financial order came through a month ago. I've said the financial order means we can't claim off each other but he disagrees. It's a clean break order, I bought him out of the house and transferred him a LOT of money. He hasn't paid anything towards the divorce, he's never seen a solicitor, I paid for everything. He's also paid no regular child maintenance for a year because CMS says he doesn't have to.

I told him to use the money I transferred to him and he said absolutely not he's saving that for a new house. He's threatened to see a solicitor but I can't believe he will get anywhere. AIBU?

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 22/12/2024 11:44

Clean break divorce settlement means you're no longer liable for any further payments to him. Stand firm.

HPandthelastwish · 22/12/2024 11:46

Reply back "Great, let me know how that goes" and move on with your day.

Gazelda · 22/12/2024 11:46

A solicitor will soon put him straight. You owe him nothing.

In any case, does his former employer have a legit case to reclaim the £1k after 5 years?

loveawineloveacrisp · 22/12/2024 11:47

Of course you don't have to pay it. He's trying it on with you.

Stressybetty · 22/12/2024 11:47

Have you actually seen the invoice? What proof do you have that he's telling the truth? I would do a credit check on yourself as well just to check nothing has been done in your name. Clean break, divorced and bought out of the house, he doesn't have a leg to stand on, just trying to guilt trip you for more cash.

imustbeanidiot · 22/12/2024 11:50

You don't even know what is in that letter, but I'm betting it's not an invoice, but a debt letter.

Get your address credit checked pronto, and meanwhile give him nothing!!!

Vaxtable · 22/12/2024 11:51

Nope dont give him a thing. Let him go to a solicitor.

Nogaxeh · 22/12/2024 11:51

Don't be intimidated into paying a penny, and resist any attempt he has to set your supposed share of this cost against the child maintenance he owes you.

caringcarer · 22/12/2024 11:54

He's got a nerve. Why didn't h pay half towards divorce? Tell him no you have a clean break. If he wants to waste money seeing a solicitor let him. Not your problem anymore. If he works he should pay child maintenance. Do CMS know he has a job now? You could ring them up and tell them he is now working. You are so well rid of him.

Dotjones · 22/12/2024 11:55

No you don't have to pay, he should get legal advice anyway as it will be difficult for a former employer to claim this amount back after such a long time. He certainly doesn't have to pay it "pronto" given it's taken 4+ years for them to discover their mistake. Unless he lied to get paid more than he should or something like that.

EDIT. Apparently they have 6 years to claim it back. So it depends when their error occurred. If it was in 2020 then they probably can. They can take him to court if they need to. In any case it's nothing to do with you because you weren't the employee.

Shinyandnew1 · 22/12/2024 11:56

he's never seen a solicitor,

He’s probably not going to start seeing one now, then!

Cosmosforbreakfast · 22/12/2024 11:57

Just ignore him, don't even respond to his nonsense. He's trying to wind you up and ruin Christmas for you. Why does he not have to pay child maintenance?

TreeBeMe · 22/12/2024 11:57

HPandthelastwish · 22/12/2024 11:46

Reply back "Great, let me know how that goes" and move on with your day.

That is a brilliant response to all shit he throws your way. A clean break means a clean break. Just send that. Don't engage with him, you are divorced and he is no longer your responsibility.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 22/12/2024 12:05

What a chancer! Tell him to fuck off.

Purplecatshopaholic · 22/12/2024 12:07

Don’t be a mug op. Of course you don’t owe him anything! Actual lol that he has tried this on!

FionaSkates · 22/12/2024 12:07

Haha tell him good luck with the solicitor! Then put your feet up and have a mince pie! Xx

rwalker · 22/12/2024 12:13

If it is legit presuming it was all joint finances when you decided the split
so I would say yes you do owe it as it’s a joint debt before you split

but you’ve got a clean break so even though you should pay it’s highly unlikely he can make you

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/12/2024 12:16

"What part of the word "no" did you not understand, XH? This is your problem, not mine. Don't ask me again."

Cherrysoup · 22/12/2024 12:18

Cf, given he isn’t paying cms and you gave him a bunch of cash for the house! Stand firm, don’t let him guilt you. Tell him, if he persists, that he should be paying for his children. Surely given he has a new job, you can pursue maintenance?

ACynicalDad · 22/12/2024 12:18

If he didn't get a solicitor for a divorce he's not doing it for this. And if he did he'd be told he had no chance. In his place I'd lose the letter and see if they push it. For £1k it's hardly worth worrying about.

Richiewoo · 22/12/2024 12:18

Tell him you'll see see him in court.

Tubetrain · 22/12/2024 12:19

Tell him you're not paying and if he doesn't see the kids I'd just block him

pinkyredrose · 22/12/2024 12:19

He’s full of shit. Can't imagine why you split up!

Jl2014 · 22/12/2024 12:22

Surely the whole point of a clean break settlement is to stop exactly this type of shit. Tell him to do one. What a chancer.

ThisWillBeOurYear · 22/12/2024 12:25

Bill him for what he owes you for the divorce and child maintenance