To think I'm not liable to pay this?

[cadburyegg]

I am panicking.

My exh moved out 4 years ago. About a year before that, he'd been made redundant. He did get a new job just before we broke up.

A couple of weeks ago I got a letter for him, this is unusual as he's changed everything to his new address, but anyway I gave it to him. He's told me that it was an invoice from his previous employer (the one he worked for before his 2020 redundancy) to say he'd been overpaid by £1000 and needs to repay it pronto. He's said that because we were together at the time and I kept some savings when he left, that I should pay half of it.

I've told him absolutely not but he's guilt tripping me and now I'm worried if I should morally give him something? I did have about 3k in savings but I've since spent it on house repairs and divorce costs. We are now divorced and the financial order came through a month ago. I've said the financial order means we can't claim off each other but he disagrees. It's a clean break order, I bought him out of the house and transferred him a LOT of money. He hasn't paid anything towards the divorce, he's never seen a solicitor, I paid for everything. He's also paid no regular child maintenance for a year because CMS says he doesn't have to.

I told him to use the money I transferred to him and he said absolutely not he's saving that for a new house. He's threatened to see a solicitor but I can't believe he will get anywhere. AIBU?

@HPandthelastwish I saw that thread too 😀

It is such a genius non-committal, non-confrontational,
, non dragging yourself into a conversation you don't want to have phrase. I love it

Can't believe you're actually considering this! Tell him no and not to contact you again about it. Cheeky bastard

We are now divorced and the financial order came through a month ago. I've said the financial order means we can't claim off each other but he disagrees.

You are correct. Let him take you to court if he is really insistent you owe him and watch the judge throw out his claim. He's just trying it on.

Hahahahahahahah!

He's funny isn't he?

Did you see the letter?

Sounds like a tall tale to me.

And if it's genuine, you still don't owe him anything.

Do not pay. He’s not part of your life. Ignore him. His responsibility.

This man presumably was able to successfully manipulate you when you were together and he thinks he can carry on now. And he's right he's got you worried!

I don't mean that he is right in his claim of course he hasn't got a leg to stand on.

As suggested by a PP I would reply something like 'okay let me know how it goes', in order to keep a paper trail in case you need to make a case against him in the future.

It might be amusing to pretend that you're genuinely worried just to see how it all plays out and what he does? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have one of these exDHs as well.
Every time he's a bit short of money he comes round with some perceived inequality in the (years old) divorce settlement and tries frightening me with legal proceedings.
He's not due anything, it's a clean break. He signed the paperwork, he lives.with the consequences.
And as far as the what you owe him "morally", morally he should be paying for or looking after his children to the value of 50%, he's not. Let him morally stick that in his moral pipe and morally smoke it.

Just ignore him.

I bought him out of the house and transferred him a LOT of money
And he's thinking: there's plenty more where that came from.
He's a low-down con man, he's trying to leach off of you so that he can feel as if he came out the winner in the divorce.

Agree, ignore.

But - if I were you I would ask him to send me a copy of the letter. If it is genuine, then write to them, say he no longer resides at your address and pass on his current address. Ensure there is no CCJ or debt collection action at your address in future. THEN ignore.

Don't give him a penny!

I love how quickly this has become a MN phrase! 💪🏼💪🏼

On another post the answer the OP was told to give her ex each and every time

ex Im going to see a solicitor

Op Let me know ho you get on with that

each and every time, she never heard back from him

Its a really great line with people like this

added to the fact he never paid for a solicitor throughout his divorce, he's all hot air

This.
his problem to sort , nothing to do with you.
If he couldn’t be bothered getting a solicitor to divorce he’s hardly likely to do anything about this.

No to this ludicrous request.

And give CMS a call on Monday. I assume if he's got enough for a house deposit he's working and therefore able to contribute to his DC upbringing?

Tell him absolutely no chance.

Tell the freeloading twat to bugger off and find a solicitor then - this is not your responsibility .

As for the overpayment, his old employer should liaise with him to instigate a repayment scheme agreeable to them both which causes no financial hardship for your ex but ensures they get the money back.

This nails it.

"Go fuck yourself Derek." and block.

Tell him to take a running jump. Reminds me of when I found my boyfriend in bed with my flatmate. I moved out and he had the audacity to call me up 3 months later to ask me to pay my share of the bills. I told him to get lost.

'Let me know how that goes'.

If you do hear from a solicitor, and you won't, send back a bill for child maintenance and tell him to offset it against that.

Lunatic.

clean break means clean break

He is trying it on.

You KNOW you have a clean break order. The law is with you.
Courage @cadburyegg he is bluffing.
He admits he can cover this cost!

I would respond to this arsehole by laughing uncontrollably and saying "shame you weren't this funny when we were together - you should try stand up".

Seriously OP, he's a bloody chancer and you're giving him headspace. Legally and morally, he hasn't a leg to stand on.