In-laws "tidying up" - maddening!

[ChirpyBee]

In laws live about 3 hours away, so when they come round they stay over for a few nights. Which is fine, but one very annoying thing they do is to "help" us around the house.

Putting pans from drying rack away in cupboards etc, general tidying of the house. However since they don't live here they obviously don't know where anything goes and just put it anywhere they please!! So for the duration they're here and for days afterwords I can't find anything!! Can't find the pan I'm looking for, DCs toys in all the wrong places and jumbled up, toothbrushes, DC medicines. And the worst part is, I'm supposed to be grateful for the help?!

I tell them not to, surely it's the easiest thing in the world to relax and not do housework? Then apparently I'm being horrible as I don't appreciate it and make them think they're doing it wrong (which they are).

Not the biggest deal in the world and it probably does piss me off irrationally more than it should but am I really being unreasonable?! Nothing will change because honestly no matter what I say they just keep doing it.

It's when it's small things all the time. So a simple task Eva uo being bloody frustrating. Nothing being where you keep it. If you don't see how very irritating and rage inducing this could become then you are a much more patient person than the OP or I am 👏

Yes!

Helpful is at least bloody asking the host if they would like help and where things go or even pay attention to the set-up seen. I’ve been going to my in-laws for over 10 years and we live 5 hours away. I know where things go and put them away just by asking and observing. If I’m unsure about anything, I simply ASK because it isn’t my home and I know people have their own way of doing things.

TBH, I actually rather have those that do little or at least listen to me when I say just leave xyz there instead of ignoring me and cleaning up which involves me having to redo, re-clean, look for things, and put things back where they actually go.

The only one who actually listens out of both my DH’s side and my side is my dad. My mum will fuss at him and moan about him leaving things there even though I have said to.

It’s more work for me when people help than if they leave it. As long as they put their rubbish in the bin and leave bathrooms tidy, I’m happy.

My exFIL used to want to help and always wanted to paint. He was not skilled at painting. After the mess he made of the first room (little prep, smears of wall colour on ceiling and vice versa) he was asked to paint fences. This looked better but on closer inspection the plants closest to the fence were generously splattered with paint and several plants had been trampled on (including a new one we'd paid a lot of money for and had asked him to be careful around it).

He was convinced he'd been helpful despite the time and money needed to rectify the issues he'd created. He laughed off the damage as he didn't have a problem with it.