Xmas meal

[Ljjov]

So my brother is very kindly hosting us and my parents over for Xmas. They are vegetarian, we are. In this case, they will have a nut roast as the main alternative to a turkey. The snag is that my immediate family are all allergic to nuts. DH thinks it's rude of them to have it as the main - am less bothered. Am sure my brother doesnt see it as rude - they just arent as bothered about allergies. DH and DDs allergies are severe enough that if they accidentally ingested nuts- they will need an epipen.

Surely they know that DD and DH have a severe nut allergy? Are you expecting them to eat the nut roast and be ill?

I'm with your DH - it's not only rude but potentially dangerous. And you are really very odd for thinking it's not.

This can't be real surely? Why would you put your children at risk on a day were all emergency services are overstretched? There's nothing kind about your brother. A nut roast can easily be swapped for mushroom Wellington etc.

What’s the risk of cross contamination? If they will be militant it preparation and serving then slightly less unreasonable

but I do think it’s a bit poor of your brother. There are plenty of non nut alternatives available

eta are you all vegetarian or just your brother?

Oh this is totally real. The assumption is that DH and the kids don't eat it but it will still be on the table and everyone else will be tucking in.

So you'd rather risk your daughter and husband dying a horrible death, than stay home and cook your own dinner?

Nah, not having it.

God that’s awful.

Team DH!

So what if someone uses a serving spoon for the nut roast and then helps themselves to vegetables with the same spoon? I think you are being very cavalier with your children’s allergies.

DH thinks it's rude of them to have it as the main

#Team DH

Having to police who uses what spoon to avoid anaphylaxis at Christmas? Sounds not fun.

I guess that am currently debating whether to have a fight over it with my brother. He only just told us the menu because I asked whether we should bring anything.

Trouble is DH is actually pretty cavalier himself over it. Plus my parents usually have nuts whenever it's family dinners...and just say we don't have to eat them.

Unbelievable.

There should be no debate.

You just won't be going (assuming you're being serious of cousre).

I don’t believe this. I can’t believe that you would expect your husband and daughter who have severe allergies to nuts to sit at a table with people eating a nut roast. Do you really not care for either of them?

I agree. If I was him I'd be staying home with the children.

Good lord, team DH!!!

I'm horrified by your brother and parents "aren't so bothered about allergies".....these are potentially fatal allergies your children have. How can their relatives not care? Do they not really believe them? In which case I bet they will be completely cavalier about cross contamination.

The rules of hosting people with allergies is you don't cook them when those guests are present. It's too bloody dangerous!

I'd say you could skip the meal and just visit for mince pies but honestly if they were my children I wouldn't take them into a house where people had been eating nuts.

There are so many other options for a main! Stay away! If they want to see you they can cook less deathly food.

Yeah, what does your daughter's life matter, as long as the roasties are good 🙄

It’s fine for your DH to knowingly take risks. It isn’t fine to expose your children to them.

Unbelievable.
Terrible choice for a family meal knowing of the possible dangerous reaction.
I would definitely not be going.

It is really rude of them, I wouldn’t risk it.

Good lord. Just swerve the family dinner. Better that than a potentially dead family member.

My son is highly allergic to cashews and I would have a huge problem if I went to a dinner and cashews got served

Has your brother heard of cross contamination? Can you trust him not to poke the nut roast with a knife and then poke the carrots to check if it is cooked.

No way I would be bringing my family to your brother's house for Christmas dinner if he is considering serving Nut Roast to people who are allergic. Allergies tend to get worse as time goes on.

I would stay home.

OP from your post "am less bothered". Are you talking about yourself? Please tell me you are not. If your child's allergy is that serious and that is your attitude you should not be their caregiver. At least your dh is an adult.

I'm presuming OP is asking if she IBU tongue in cheek - playing devils advocate for her brother

It's bloody obvious they cannot do this and they still go!

OP,
Either they change the menu or you stay at home

Both dd and I have (difeerent) anaphylaxis food allergies.

Your brother is putting your dh and dds lives at risk. What the hell has possessed him to do nut roast when there are allergies to juts?

It will he everywhere, on their skin, in surfaces, in the air.

I wouldn't be going anywhere near frankly.

Rude is an understatement quite honestly