Xmas meal

[Ljjov]

So my brother is very kindly hosting us and my parents over for Xmas. They are vegetarian, we are. In this case, they will have a nut roast as the main alternative to a turkey. The snag is that my immediate family are all allergic to nuts. DH thinks it's rude of them to have it as the main - am less bothered. Am sure my brother doesnt see it as rude - they just arent as bothered about allergies. DH and DDs allergies are severe enough that if they accidentally ingested nuts- they will need an epipen.

I am horrified by your lax thoughts on this, your husband and child could have such a severe reaction they die and you don’t seem concerned

i would be telling your brother you won’t be coming and do a meal at home. It’s not just the nut roast, it’s cross contamination from utensils, plates etc

I wouldn't risk it and stay home.

Why on earth are you going to sit at a table that could hospitalise/kill.members of your family? And a table where they sit and eat nothing?

Tell them no and do your Xmas meal.

This is so unacceptable it's shocking that anyone would think its ok. Unless they have really good cleaning and have everything separated then of course there's a risk that a nut could accidentally be eaten.

Do they actually understand how serious the allergy is? That they could die?

Totally this, how can you not know how dangerous this is!

Why would anyone with an anaphylactic allergy be cavalier with his and his child’s allergy?

She said would need an EpiPen not instantly drop dead..

My nephew is very allergic to nuts and stone fruits. It would never even cross my mind to take those things into his mother's home. Absolutely appalling behavior.

You would be mental to go!

Surely no-one's ignorant enough to believe that an Epi Pen always stops death???

Newsflash: It doesn't.

Agree with this. If you go you are just as bad as they are. I cannot understand why you would even think it was ok to go.

This can’t be real surely?

If I had read this anywhere else but MN I wouldn’t have believed a word of it.
I wouldn’t have believed that anyone would even think of risking their DD’s health.

So I eould say my relatives are well aware of what allergies are etc. In fact, I would go as far as to say they are experts in that. This may explain the cavalier attitude.

DH has always been pretty lax. No idea why. He is not lax when he gets a reaction but totally lax when it comes to checking what is in the food, never taking meds or epipens with him.

I strongly suspect this is a wind up!

And lax about his daughter's life, as are you by the sound of it.

You should not even be considering going to this meal.

Then again you should not have to be told this.

It’s beyond rude. It’s dangerous. Do they not like your family?

Does your brother know your family have nut allergies? If so then of course this is rude, unbelievably so and I'm staggered that you aren't supporting your DH and DC!

If it involves a fight with your brother over the lives of your DH and DC then so be it, surely!?

He only just told us the menu because I asked whether we should bring anything.

Yeah because no parent of a child with a life threatening allergy would think to ask before now 🙄

Unfortunately people who need an epipen when exposed to their allergy are at real Risk of dropping dead from their body’s reaction!!
epipens aren’t always the answer. They can fail to function. They can fail to control the reaction.
the reaction itself can be a truly horrible experience even if it resolves quickly.
if you use your pen you need to attend a hospital for hours after, and often need 3 days of steroid treatment after with all the discomfort that carries

who on earth would choose to risk it knowing that their allergen is being served all around them?

Tbf you might not think you need to ask. DH has an anaphylactic allergy and he doesn't check with family (his or mine) that the food will be nut free because he knows it will be.

What? You’re willing to put your husband’s and child’s lives at risk so you don’t upset your brother? I think you have your priorities wrong. Obviously you don’t go if nuts are being served because it’s not worth the risk?

You can’t be serious with this comment.

This.

It is truely astounding that you didn't immediately say to your brother "Have you forgotten that nuts could literally kill them?"

I can't believe this is serious.

And your daughter?