Xmas meal

[Ljjov]

So my brother is very kindly hosting us and my parents over for Xmas. They are vegetarian, we are. In this case, they will have a nut roast as the main alternative to a turkey. The snag is that my immediate family are all allergic to nuts. DH thinks it's rude of them to have it as the main - am less bothered. Am sure my brother doesnt see it as rude - they just arent as bothered about allergies. DH and DDs allergies are severe enough that if they accidentally ingested nuts- they will need an epipen.

Does he not understand that nut allergy is nothing like , say, dairy, or gluten?

It's life-threatening, spores can cause death.

Happy Christmas Darling. Here's your epipen.

I think it's unacceptable to invite people allergic to nuts then serve nuts. Is this brother bonkers? I wouldn't go if he can't serve an alternative meal.

But the OP and her husband don't really give a shit.

So other than tapping the fish tank to get us all riled up, I have no idea why the OP even started this thread.

Both dairy and gluten allergy can be life threatening.

So even though your family are all allergic to nuts, your parents have nuts with every meal when you visit? Are they deliberately trying to kill you all?

I can't believe you're not pissed off with them.

As a vegetarian of over 30 years I think nut roast is shite. Plenty of much nicer - less life threatening - alternatives. You’re all outrageously unreasonable.

I’m finding this difficult to believe.

My DN has a severe nut allergy, they have to take an EpiPen everywhere they go.

If I know they are visiting the next day, and we have been eating nuts (which is quite often as one DC is vegan) I clean every surface, all the soft furnishings and make sure rooms are well ventilated.

The idea of having nuts on the table where there’s such a high risk of cross contamination is insane. I wouldn’t go.

Nope, I wouldn’t be going. It’s just not worth the risk. Especially on Christmas when medical care may be overstretched.

I have a friend with a severe, potentially fatal food allergy and I am INCREDIBLY careful to make sure there is no risk of contamination: I deep clean my kitchen and all my utensils before I cook for her, I wouldn't even dream of serving the allergen on the same table!

#TeamDH here, for sure.

Is this post a joke, or a veggie baiting post, because J just can’t find the words for how irresponsible to have nuts around a daughter with a serious nut allergy

It's not 'rude' - it's insane.

If you deliberately expose your DD to a known allergen then you're so ridiculously neglectful that I struggle to believe this is real.

Reported.

Very weird to serve a nut roast at a dinner you have invited people with life threatening nut allergies to.

Wtf is wrong with you? Your brother is also a complete idiot.

Ok so if they EAT nuts then they need an epipen but what about being in the same room as nuts? Is that OK?

If they only react to ingesting nuts then I can't see the issue as long as it's made clear that they don't eat it.

You’re all knob ends tbh.

If they insist having nut roast then stay home.

‘Thanks brother - but risk of cross contamination is too great. - we’ll have to decline the invitation.’

up to brother them if they chose to change the menu

but no way on Earth would I put my family at unnecessary risk

It’s rude. My bil used to do similar when we ate out and insist on ordering the nuttiest thing on the menu. Different story when he had his own dc with allergies.

tbh, as a “cavalier” lived experience person, I wouldn’t worry hugely about cross contamination from a nut roast, although a nut allergic person will probably find the smell of it cooking vomit inducing, but I’d be pissed of that my child, and by extension me, would have to spend the whole day watching and thinking and generally worrying about it. Is that knife ok? There is something on the potato, could that be nut roast? Is it over the worktop and the bin lid? Does my kid feel sick from eating too many sweets or has she had some nuts?
I just couldn’t be arsed with it. They don’t want you there and I wouldn’t want to go.

I think this is a reverse op can't be serious !

Your brother is BU.

But you? Your attitude towards allergies in people you presumably love, sucks as much as it blows.

If I were your DH I'd stay home and let you go alone

Take your own pre cooked main that both like.

Yeah, it's not the lack of nut free main course that's the problem here, it's the fact that OP doesn't seem bothered about her childs life being put at risk.

Even if they bring their own food the child is still exposed to something that can easily kill her. On everything the nut eaters touch, the air, utensils.
Anyone who didn't want to risk their kids death would obviously not attend.

Dreadful behaviour by your brother.

So what if your DH and Dd can ‘just not eat it’: it’s the main event if a shared family feast ! Rude doesn’t cover it.

And what if a serving spoon crosses over?

And your parents’ attitude is shit too, about having nuts when you visit.

If I was your DH I’d tell you, your parents and your brother to shove it.

Shocking.