Dh looking up at me and shaking his head

[Ohitsthegrinchagain]

Dh been doing lots of jobs in the garden this morning (things that needed doing) cutting grass, trimming bushes etc. I’ve been up since 6.30 with dd, baking, crafts, doing her breakfast & lunch, up at night every night doing the elf activities, i’ve done every single thing for xmas, do all the cooking, organising, 80% of Dds care and work part time.
Dds neighbour pal is here playing upstairs and i’m sat on my phone. I see him out of the corner of my eye looking at me and shaking his head, very passive aggressive..the implication being that he’s doing all this work and heavy carrying and cutting the tree etc and i’m just sat here on my phone.
I catch his look and ask him what’s wrong? Does he need help with something as he can just ask and not be passive aggressive. He gets angry and storms off. I feel like shouting back that I can sit on my sofa on my phone if I like and listing all the things I do and how he’s taking the piss completely, but really what is the point. He’s done this before, it’s just nasty

Anyone else have this

?

Nope. Don't tolerate shit men.

He sounds pathetic. Is he unable to communicate like an adult?
Very self centred and totally unaware of everything you’ve been doing. YANBU.

Nah, my DH isn't a dickhead.

Plus, i’m taking Dd out all afternoon tomorrow for a Christmas outing, so he has hours at home to relax

Yes that's arsehole behaviour OP. Does he need applause and recognition every time he does something for the household? I know that type.
There's no point addressing it when you are both angry. Bring it up calmly later. He needs to feel appreciated but so do you.

Buy him a star chart.

I hate it as it makes me feel like i’m lazy or I should be up doing something as he is, when the reality is i’m on top of everything pretty much (need to do bits on Monday) so can sit and relax whilst I have chance while Dd plays (she’s very intense and needs a lot of playing/attention)
I also feel exhausted from doing so much all last week

I'm sorry you're married to a stroppy, overgrown teenager with zero communication skills. I'd tell him how unattractive that is.

Are you going to stay married to this man?

If you divorced you wouldn't be inflicting this farce on your kid, wouldn't be teaching them that women are for serving men, and the man would either have to parent, or pay you to raise his kid.

Tit for tat is the death knell to a relationship. I warn anyone I know - who is about to embark on parenthood - not to fall into it.

He sounds rather pathetic

I think sarcastic applause might be the way to go next time he catches your eye!

He'sa knobhead. Transactional duties. My ex did this. I had to be doing something to get him to do something. Despite doing 100% of cooking, childcare and housework. If I sat down so would he. Awful to live with.

I dunno. He sounds childish. Just have to ignore him I guess.

You can choose to feel lazy - or not. I would favour the latter.

Let him think what he will.

Life can be much much better than the life you're currently experiencing, OP. You really do not have to have him in your life.

Nope. I went out with my 10 year old today to have a girly afternoon. (She needed a bit of mummy time). DP, my 17 and 8 year old were home. I was planning on doing a big clean on the house tomorrow. Got home to a coffee on the side with the book I am reading and the whole house spotless... even the skirting boards were cleaned. I asked him what needs doing. He replied 'well you have a list of books you want to read while you are off work so you better get cracking on that's

This week I went out on a works xmas do, got obliterated. Woke up to coffee and paracetamol.

Not all men are shit, passive aggressive or shouty!

It doesn't sound great from this small snapshot, but that's really all it is. I know myself the wonderful feeling of no longer having that horrible 'tit for tat' atmosphere, but neither of us know the whole picture.

Also, I've been gardening today and tbh it's been a treat- headspace, mild weather, birdsong- I wouldn't be martyring myself about it!

I don't think 4 days before Christmas is the time to announce a divorce though! I'm sure OP can reflect on the relationship as a whole after Christmas.

God no! My partner has been ploughing through house jobs since he broke up for Christmas including all the leaves and weeds out in the garden and driveway and clearing out the shed. During each of these he told me to chill out and relax while he got them sorted, he would never want or expect me to bustle around being busy just because he was