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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tired of the performative beggars and alcoholics this time of year

613 replies

Onand · 21/12/2024 07:54

Is anyone else sick and tired of the huge number of ‘homeless’ beggars, alcoholics and addicts that descended on the streets since the Christmas rush started this year?

Manchester is rife with them- this year there is a particularly ropey bunch of alcoholics/ addicts that are obnoxiously ‘sleeping’ or sitting with their bags pointing directly out into the street instead of being against a wall, they’re building ‘dens’ in shop doorways which stink of human faeces and piss, dealers go from spot to spot, dogs forced to sit in uncomfortable situations (often not even their dog as the same one gets passed from beggar to beggar).

It’s a self perpetuating problem because soup kitchens serving buffets set up and cater meals for them whilst they’re generally being a nuisance and making the streets look an absolute shitty mess. Why are they tolerated? People need to stop giving them money as it just encourages them to keep doing it when there are services in place to help them.

Bah humbug I know, but It’s beyond grim.

OP posts:
AVeryCovidChristmas · 22/12/2024 00:10

I think you should volunteer for a homeless charity OP.

Onand · 22/12/2024 00:13

AVeryCovidChristmas · 22/12/2024 00:09

It is sad that your privileged upbringing didn't raise a compassionate or decent human, OP. Tell me OP, when you have had traumatic events happen in life, did you get up, paint a smile on your face and go into work the same day?

Edited

You definitely have vibes you give them money thinking you’re saving them.

Congratulations on compassionately funding someone’s heroin hit.

OP posts:
AVeryCovidChristmas · 22/12/2024 00:17

No, I just understand how people turn to drugs, because I am capable of critical thinking and have life experience unlike yourself. Troll or not, I feel sorry for you.

Jumpingthruhoops · 22/12/2024 01:11

'Services in place to help them' as you put it, OP, won't take people in active addiction. Thus, they remain on the street. Hope that answers your question.

Jumpingthruhoops · 22/12/2024 01:22

Onand · 21/12/2024 13:06

Pass by Russell & Bromley Manchester around 6pm every evening and you’ll see how these services are provided. Queues of men for their dinner.

Respectfully, OP, it's going to take a lot more than one hot meal a day to help someone with severe mental health issues or addiction to hard drugs.

TempestTost · 22/12/2024 03:06

SleeplessInWherever · 21/12/2024 23:21

For me, it’s not about absolving of responsibility but looking at the reasons why.

I don’t claim to know those reasons, but in my view to become addicted to the level you beg strangers for money, or to sleep on the streets instead of in the warm home of someone who cares for you - something has to have gone very wrong.

Most of us, even if the worst happened, have somewhere to go and wouldn’t rough sleeping in December wouldn’t be either the norm or the preference.

You can acknowledge someone is choosing to take drugs to deal with whatever it is their dealing with, and still have some sympathy for that.

Sure you can. But that is not at all the same as saying that people are not making choices, and all we can do is support them in their addictions. Which seems to be an increasingly common response, and pushed even by some addictions and healthcare organizations.

WishinAndHopin · 22/12/2024 03:34

I haven't reacted either way to this because on the one hand, where I live are many homeless people living in shop doors year round. They leave during the day then set up camp when the shops close for the night. They are polite and don't bother anyone. Some live in camps by the river. They are honestly no trouble and the vast majority don't beg.

On the other hand, I have heard terrible stories of fake beggars. One man in a nearby city simply sits on the pavement looking pitiful without saying anything, and people give him money. But he's not homeless or a drug addict, and when the day ends he dresses in normal clothes and boasts about his large earnings.

ThatKhakiMoose · 22/12/2024 04:43

Lunde · 21/12/2024 12:42

Well you seem very nice - not!

My brother was homeless and died on the streets because he had a mental breakdown. He was an "ordinary bloke", a privately educated, taxation accountant but also homeless. Family tried to help but he wasn't in the frame of mind ...

He was killed on the streets of Mayfair by a well meaning stranger on Christmas Eve who gave a bottle of whiskey to the beggar - a corporate gift - death by acute alcoholic poisoning.

I am so sorry, Lunde.

Why on EARTH would someone give a person sleeping rough a bottle of whisky? Everyone knows that people sleeping outside are vulnerable and may well be living with addiction. How utterly thick can you get! That makes me angry on behalf of you and your brother. Why couldn't that gormless idiot have given him a hot meal and drink if they wanted to help? Jesus, just when you think you've heard it all.

ThatKhakiMoose · 22/12/2024 04:44

Donttellempike · 21/12/2024 12:45

Do you know what left wing means?

I'm not understanding this comment...you're surely not disputing that the Guardian is left-wing?

Londonrach1 · 22/12/2024 04:57

The trouble is if you have a dog or an addiction you can't go into the hostel in my local area. We got amazing local charity locally which is very active in our rural area and as a result apart from one homeless lady with a very bad drug addiction we don't have aggressive begging at the moment in the local town. The advice has always been don't give money to someone who is homeless but give to the local services that support them.

Robinredd · 22/12/2024 05:11

Nowherehere1 · 21/12/2024 08:50

This is one of the worst threads I’ve ever read on mn. I’ve worked with people who are homeless and the kinds of backgrounds some of these people come from and in an even in some cases where people had normal upbringings there was often severe mental health issues. I feel nothing but empathy and sadness for people who are literally sleeping on the streets in all kinds of weather .

Thank God there's someone with a bit of heart on here!

I agree totally.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 22/12/2024 05:23

I don’t why the police / government don’t tackle this issue properly - allowing organised crime openly on our streets.

MugPlate · 22/12/2024 06:12

Surely it’s possible to have empathy for people sleeping on the streets, while holding it back for people saying they’re sleeping on the streets but not actually having to do so?

Do people genuinely believe everything a cardboard sign tells them?

missdeamenor · 22/12/2024 06:26

CheeseTime · 21/12/2024 08:22

Like everything else if there’s money to be made the scammers move in.

I never give money to beggars or Big Issue sellers. Mostly Eastern European women in my town. Why leave your home in Europe to become ‘homeless’ in another country?

The Eastern Europeans buy the Big Issue from unofficial sellers and then always say they don't have change and have sob stories to scam more money from naive people. They get picked up in the evening and driven to their accommodation. I saw an article on a homeless man in the local press this week. I know his brother and he's got a flat and loads of money stashed under his mattress; his mum does all his washing and cleaning. Sorry, but this country is full of bleeding hearts who take everything at face value.

HRT · 22/12/2024 06:45

You think there are services in place to help them?!

Have you not notice this issue has increased with austerity?

dottiehens · 22/12/2024 07:44

cosietea · 21/12/2024 08:07

Check your privilege

While you police people’s privilege. I am wondering why there are so many homeless with so much taxes raised in this so called “ civilised society” It seems that the priorities of the government are not that of putting their citizens first.

bookmarket · 22/12/2024 08:16

missdeamenor · 22/12/2024 06:26

The Eastern Europeans buy the Big Issue from unofficial sellers and then always say they don't have change and have sob stories to scam more money from naive people. They get picked up in the evening and driven to their accommodation. I saw an article on a homeless man in the local press this week. I know his brother and he's got a flat and loads of money stashed under his mattress; his mum does all his washing and cleaning. Sorry, but this country is full of bleeding hearts who take everything at face value.

There's a group of Eastern European women who use the same train as me. They have shopping trolleys with them. I always wondered what they were doing but found out they travel to a city and sell the big issue. The return fare is £30 per day, so not cheap. They are met by men when they get off the train. Not homeless. Madness. How are they allowed to be here and allowed to be doing this?

PandoraSox · 22/12/2024 08:42

missdeamenor · 22/12/2024 06:26

The Eastern Europeans buy the Big Issue from unofficial sellers and then always say they don't have change and have sob stories to scam more money from naive people. They get picked up in the evening and driven to their accommodation. I saw an article on a homeless man in the local press this week. I know his brother and he's got a flat and loads of money stashed under his mattress; his mum does all his washing and cleaning. Sorry, but this country is full of bleeding hearts who take everything at face value.

he's got a flat and loads of money stashed under his mattress

This tale is one of the tallest I have ever read on MN.

This is also one of the most mean-spirited threads I have ever read on MN, though heartening that so many decent, compassionate people have posted their support for those less fortunate than themselves.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope life is kind to you in 2025.

Balancedcitizen101 · 22/12/2024 08:45

While they might make you uncomfortable, I'm not sure they chose to become homeless. Maybe they weren't born in to an upper middle class Tory home and given massive houses and inheritances for doing nothing? Let me guess - you didn't either? This is a Tory post though.

PandoraSox · 22/12/2024 08:47

dottiehens · 22/12/2024 07:44

While you police people’s privilege. I am wondering why there are so many homeless with so much taxes raised in this so called “ civilised society” It seems that the priorities of the government are not that of putting their citizens first.

For probably the first time ever, I agree with you. The Tories spent 14 years not putting their citizens first. The number of people sleeping rough is 120% higher than when data collection began in 2010.

LostittoBostik · 22/12/2024 08:55

HRT · 22/12/2024 06:45

You think there are services in place to help them?!

Have you not notice this issue has increased with austerity?

People seem unable or unwilling to grasp this obvious point. This whole thread is thoroughly depressing and a reminder of how the Tory loss in July was really all about Covid and not to do with their utter mismanagement of every other aspect of government.

Theunamedcat · 22/12/2024 08:56

Balancedcitizen101 · 22/12/2024 08:45

While they might make you uncomfortable, I'm not sure they chose to become homeless. Maybe they weren't born in to an upper middle class Tory home and given massive houses and inheritances for doing nothing? Let me guess - you didn't either? This is a Tory post though.

Constance Martin

Theunamedcat · 22/12/2024 08:57

MugPlate · 22/12/2024 06:12

Surely it’s possible to have empathy for people sleeping on the streets, while holding it back for people saying they’re sleeping on the streets but not actually having to do so?

Do people genuinely believe everything a cardboard sign tells them?

Absolutely the problem is identifying who is who

TheCanaryInThePurpleSkirt · 22/12/2024 09:03

MistressoftheDarkSide · 21/12/2024 23:40

The last part of this post is important.

In the last three years, on probably a dozen occasions, the stresses I have been dealing with have pushed me to an unhealthy "fuck it all" attitude and I have drunk to painful excess and engaged in risky behaviour. My nearests and dearests have reacted mostly with compassion, but also a measure of tough love clearly defining the fact that if it keeps happening, I would be cut off.

At my age, in my 50s, I have just enough self preservation or survival instinct to keep myself in check. It means I live a very small life, away from temptation. I could easily tip over the edge when it seems everything that can go wrong does go wrong. My fear of complete rejection is one factor that keeps me going, alongside fear of the pain it would cause my family or friends if I did do anything "stupid". Also, ridiculous as it may sound, my cat.

However, I'm constantly at war in my own head with a voice that tells me it's all essentially pointless, and I am pointless.

In many ways I'm lucky - I am housed, and can just about cover the basics on a limited income while I try to rebuild my entire life.

This is why I don't judge. Because it is very much a case of "there but for the grace of God go I".

This is so very moving. I am now divorced from a man who would sneer down his nose, passing people in doorways and say as he walked by “Now THAT’S quality begging!” He’d disapprove if I made any donation; food bank, actually a begging person or even a dog rescue charity. His family were the same. All good degrees and jobs and not a charitable bone in their body. They’d be quite “empathic” about those less fortunate up to the point of being within 6 feet of them and then look at people with absolute contempt because it was, clearly, “their” own fault.

I came away from this marriage and struggled massively to the point where I was close to breakdown, alcoholism and the loss of everything. I have, several years later, turned a corner but fully recognise that there was a hairs breadth between me, the lady with a good career/home/friends etc and a person who lost everything.

As you say, “There But For The Grace …” and thank you for saying it.

Hoppinggreen · 22/12/2024 09:42

Onand · 21/12/2024 13:56

Let’s spin that around and see who is vulnerable when you’re walking home on an evening and there’s a whole group of them out of their minds vomiting and pissing all over the shop doorways and accosting people for money and getting angry if they get nothing.

You are walking HOME
Presumably home is warm, dry and safe?
I spend quite a bit of time in Manchester and while there IS a problem with addicted and people with MH issues on the streets I have never felt threatened by any of them, you can just move away if you are worried.