To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

If this was reversed you'd expect to take a vegan meal to hersYabu

I couldn’t eat that but I would never expect to bring and cook a chicken in your oven, can’t she bring bring some ready cooked that she’s cooked at home?

It seems sane and polite to eat what is offered wherever you go. It seems equally sane, polite and not very hard to offer guests what they like. We are carnivores, but often entertain a vegetarian friend. So we don't serve her meat. It's easy and polite.

I get that you wouldn’t want the chicken cooking in your oven, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to bring pre cooked meat? Vegan food can be very carb heavy and can understand why some would rather have an alternative option?

Your point is???

You fool yourself.

No. Your recent posts are utter nonsense. Goodness knows what point you're trying to prove.

Your posts are the utter nonsense, and just show up your selfishness and ignorance.

You don't have a point lol!

I agree. Vegan or vegetarian food is delicious and tasty and well worth considering. For an invited guest to want to bring their own food to cook is an insult to the hostess/cook and I wouldn't expect such a person to be invited in the first place.

Don't go

Indeed! We go to Puglia every Christmas. They have dinner the night before Christmas and it's fish. Better than turkey which I think the most boring meat.

I think once you have made the decision not to have dead animals on your plate then that is both a liberation as well as a sacrifice: not if an animal but if your your sensebuds. It is very serious and should be respected, not joked about, not sneered at. I applaud you, and your Middle Eastern vegan fare is the best: The most nutritious , and delicious though involves a lot of careful preparation. (A lot of meat eating is lazy. As well as cruel.)
Sorry folks if that sounds really hard line. But if you are not happy with what goes on in the abattoirs then you can’t be at peace eating meat. We won’t end it but everyone is entitled to try and be respected for trying. So on a special day where you are hosting and will work hard to make it good you might have to say ‘sorry no dead animals’.

No one respected my feelings on this when I finally gave up all meat and hosted. They went behind my back, my mother paid my son to go out and buy some ham. I stopped hosting. I now am a guest at my meat eating adult children’s homes and am very grateful they provide me with a meatless alternative. A lot if people are cutting down.on their meat consumption - for the planet if not out of empathy for the suffering of other sentient animals. And there are now lots of exciting meat free alternatives on the shelves. You’ll have to use some charm and love to not insult her at a difficult time for her it’s hard because meatceating is still seen as the norm and you are the outliers. It’s often easier to say you have a quite irrational religious faith than to explain it’s because you can’t bear the suffering. Good luck. I think she’s very lucky! Sounds a great feast.

not to have dead animals on your plate

🙄 Again with the immaturity of a 9 year old.

Sorry, your food sounds awful. On the other hand, taking one's own meat to a non-meat household is just crass. My sister and her DP are vegies, me and my DP are very much not. Sis has offered to cook us meat when we visit but we don't see why she should compromise to that extent, and her partner wouldn't like it. The solution has always been to go out for major meals, then everyone can have exactly what they want. We take it in turns to pay. That might not be a Christmas lunch option since most places were booked out weeks ago, but you can ring around.

what you have described would not constitute a magnificent spread in my opinion and I would be quite disappointed to have to eat this on Christmas Day. Maybe tell her to cook the chicken at home and bring it with her?

As far as I can make out you have decided I'm a "militant vegan" because I said I don't cook roast chicken, turkey or pork for guests - or anyone for that matter - because I don't like the smell of these meats roasting.Your thought process in coming to that conclusion is awesome.

I don't cook these foods because I don't like the smell or the taste.

Are you of Middle Eastern heritage? No? Well then, you are judging this meal by the wrong standards. This is not a standard British Christmas dinner.

That must be very restricting. It's also quite unusual, I think. Around the world most people do eat a wide range of vegetables when they can get hold of them. It's better for health than eating a lot of meat. I'm not a vegan or a vegetarian but I like to have as varied a diet as possible. Threads like this always end up attracting people who can't or won't eat more than a few safe foods. I don't know why things go wrong psychologically for some people with common foods like vegetables, but it's a pity.

As already stated, it would seem that some MNers don't realise their privilege.

I am (half Lebanese) - a lot of OP’s menu is standard mezze, but on an occasion like Christmas people would also generally expect at least one knock out main. In Lebanon, samke harra (fish) and roast lamb with rice are pretty normal. Turkey or chicken like in the West are quite popular too. Not uncommon for these all to be in the same meal! The comments you’d get about the lack of meat would be worse and more annoying in the Middle East tbh.

That said, I think OP is not being unreasonable not allowing her sister to bring or cook a chicken. The whole argument is absurd.

You don’t have to eat it at all. You’re not a child being made to sit at the table until your plate is cleared.

you’re an adult who can refuse the invitation. Or sort yourself a traditional Christmas dinner if it’s so important, and pop over afterwards.

I did wonder about that! I have the impression that it would be unusual to become vegetarian or vegan in that part of the world, but for those who do the cuisine adapts fairly well.

Exactly this. It might take a bit of back and forth to find a vegan dish that the sister will genuinely enjoy, but that's the sort of thing you do for family. You don't just stamp feet that they must eat veggie tagine or nothing.

My mum loves to do a big fish on some occasions, but she puts veggie and meat stuff out for those who don't eat it. Many vegans and vegetarians all over the country will be fed this Christmas by people making an extra dish. For big family parties, we always do a big range of types of dishes so that everyone gets something whether they prefer salad, meat, vegetarian, pastries, snacky dips etc. Same way we serve a range of drinks, because they all like something different. We do that because we care that they have a good time.

Yeah, it’s a weird combo of being well catered for at every meal - because the veggie ‘sides’ are copious and actually a meal in themself - but people still being intolerable about why you aren’t eating every dish, haha.