To be upset by MIL's comments

[HowF3stive]

Not sure if I'm being over sensitive but I feel hurt and it's given me a bit of a complex!

At a family dinner and she makes comments about what a big eater I am and how I eat as much as the men do. This isn't the first time it's been said.

For context I'm petite, normal weight, and don't feel as though I under or over eat. But I have struggled with disordered eating in the past. I'm in a good place now so I tend to eat slower which perhaps makes it appear as though I've eaten more than I have. She is on a very restrictive calorie cutting fad diet over the past few months and barely eats - it's mostly alcohol and crisps. I tend to skip that in favour of more filling choices but have never criticised her choices.

Now I'm sat here second guessing my portions and wondering if I should cut back and here comes that restrictive mindset again. Feels like her boys can do no wrong but there is always something to nitpick when it comes to me.

Dreading going there for Christmas now and already worrying if I'll be seen as eating too much 😔

My MiL also keeps a very close eye on what I eat and always comment (rudely) on it.
I am a size 8 and say how lucky I am that I can eat whatever I like and stay slim. She absolutely hates it!
She also very much enjoys telling me if she thinks I've put on weight... recently I acted delighted and said "ah thanks, I think I look great!" Haha the face!

"welcome to my world .. won't you come on in" 🤣 but with mother and grandma in law!!!

I would hate the fact that I'm being watched like that,full stop,surely there's something more interesting going on than watching you eat.my own mother was picky like that,stayed with me a long time,so I moved 500 miles away.

Sounds like some form of projection. From what you say your MIL has a very poor diet consisting mostly of junk calories (alcohol and crisps), so maybe the comments about your food intake are a deflection of attention onto you in order she can avoid having to face up to her own poor eating habits. Remember that ultimately tactics like that don't work, since when you have parted company she is still lumbered with her own issues whilst you are enjoying life, no matter what she has said to you.

It reminds me a bit of a large woman in the bridge club many years ago when I was a very slender build who commented to me I need to eat a decent meal. I was far too mature to respond by saying it is difficult to get a decent meal after you've helped yourself.

Can you speak to your DP about it? What does he say? Had a similar issue with my MIL, remind yourself she is the one in the wrong, you have escaped disordered eating and she is still trapped in it, feel sorry for her and try and not let it get to you

You definitely have to be firm and tell her that you don't want to hear comments about what and how much you eat. Tell her if she says anything, you're going no contact for a time. She likely is jealous of your size and that you can eat normally and maintain it. I'm guessing she eats more than you're seeing. Alcohol and crisps aren't filling, and alcohol makes you gain weight like crazy.