DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas

[Firey40]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDd86TftyNT/?igsh=MTZueGVicm1udDllNw==

The evidence is overwhelming.

Their brains are only young once.

We might not have known before….. but we know now.

STOP GIVING KIDS SMARTPHONES

Well DS seems to manage with the lock down and the apps he does have access to. Duolingo is a good example of where a smartphone works but a brickphone wouldn't.

You use the addictive stuff to your own gain.

Written from your smartphone

Thanks but my son is fine. Didn't have a phone until year 7. All his homework apps are on it, he doesn't have anything on it I don't approve of. He had a hobby app and a WhatsApp group for that purpose with other kids his age. It's managed well. You do you.

We've found similar stricter rules when young and to help them learn to manage usage.

DD1 19 uses her phone to help her manage her ND conditions as well now she at Uni and away from home. None of them are addicted - and use their mobiles like the tools they are.

It would be easier to restrict phones if more things - like school apps - weren't pushed to them - but it's the way the world has gone and it's teaching them how to managed the world as it is now not hark back to how it used to be.

Agree, Op. Our DS is autistic, extremely young and vulnerable for his age and struggles to understand social interaction at the best of times. I'm holding out on the social media/unfettered internet access for as long as possible. He is getting a dumb phone and only allowed internet access via his tablet when we are in the room.

Hard disagree. Kids of a certain age use smartphones for all sorts of reasons, not just to keep in touch with friends. It’s about parenting and making sure they don’t use them at inappropriate times. You can also absolutely restrict what they can see on the internet.

Meanwhile, how many people (including op) are scrolling on their smartphones to comment that smartphones are terrible……

Practice what you preach

Teaching an 11 year old to use a smart phone responsibly is relatively easy.
You can restrict where and when they use it
You can demand to see it on a regular basis
You can legitimately ban or restrict social media
You can have a system that restricts use and where a parent has to approve new apps.

The idea of doing that with a 16 year old... nightmare.

Most 15/16 year olds today have grown up with smart phones and social media and are far less interested in likes and follows than those who are now in their early 20s are. Restricting to 16 is likely to start that back up again.

There are so many uses for smart phones. DD uses it for travel - bus and train apps and tickets, contacting friends, homework apps, guitar tuning apps, music apps. It's a godsend.

I have a tracker on it - we live rurally and she has a long commute to school or to see friends at weekend. I can log on and check that she's at school, or when her train is likely to get in, or if she's made it to her friend's house without having to message her.

In any case the genie is out of the bottle.

What is far more likely is your child will end up with a hidden smartphone you know nothing about and have zero control over.

I am planning to read this:

My teen uses his as a medical monitoring device so no, he won't be having it taken off him.

Don’t agree with this at all:

1. Banning social media/smartphones is an easy solution that avoids dealing with the real issue. Like it or not, we’re not in 2004 and they are here to stay. DC need to be taught how to use them safely and responsibly, and teachers and parents need resources and support to do this.
2. Phones/social media as tools in themselves are not dangerous- the issue comes with how and what they are used to do. They can be a place for teens to discover communities that align with their interests and mine (now mid 20s) used it to stay in touch with friends and relatives abroad. It would make no sense to ban TVs for under 16s because they can be used to view porn, but that’s what’s being proposed with phones/social media.
3. For me the idea of not allowing DC near smartphones/social media for 16 years or whatever and then giving them free rein at a time when they are all gaining independence and freedom in other areas is a recipe for disaster.

There's plenty of research evidence that smart phones are very bad for adults. I hate the fact I struggle to use mine in a way that isn't compulsive. Young minds are even more vulnerable to this than my relatively old mind.

Smart phones are not good for children and teens. Some people don't like that fact. It makes them feel defensive. Of their choices and of their own behaviour. But that doesn't change the fact they are harmful.

My plan is to allow a brick phone at high school.
Or alternatively there might be something on the market that is appropriate for teens. There are quite a few in development.

Next project is to wean myself off social media and my phone and try and set a better example. But it's really hard: this is why I worry for them. With even less developed prefrontal cortex they are even less able to modify compulsive behaviour

Sorry, its was ment to have a picture. Its a book called Digitale Demenz. Wie wir uns und unsere Kinder um den Verstand bringen, 2012. By Manfred Spitzer

OP is correct that the evidence that smartphone use is bad for adolescents is building. PPs are also correct that the world is now set up for smartphone use and it’s quite hard not to have one once you’re getting more independent in the world. That isn’t a reason to give in to it though. Parents can act with a collective voice to put pressure on schools and the government for clearer guidance and support to create smartphone free environments. If there was legislation that governed smartphone use in teens, mobile phone manufacturers and providers would be forced to design products that were suitable and safe for teenagers. No one is saying to go back to phone boxes but parents have little choice between a “dumb” phone with can’t be used for timetables and tickets etc or a smartphone which can do everything (and teenagers are better at getting around restrictions on devices than parents are at setting them!) Subsequently parents tend to choose a smartphone in the hope of keeping their child safe but in doing so, expose them to all kinds of risks.

The tide is turning on this and it isn’t too late to change things for the better.

The evidence is significant and I peer reviewed journals.

The evidence is overwhelming.

It really isn't. The scientific evidence for harm from teenage smartphone use is that any overall harm is either tiny or non-existent (one solid UK study found that is had the same negative effect as wearing glasses or eating potatoes).

Sadly, however, moral panics sell newspapers — or, in a rather ironic recent development, get people (presumably adults, ha ha) clicking and tapping on the sites, apps, and Facebook pages of media outlets.

Here is some sense from a British researcher on the topic, interviewed by the British Psychological Society: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/its-down-you-be-more-reflective-around-screen-use

You can very easily get him a brick phone and an air tracker.. but you don’t want to, you want to give him the most addictive and harmful thing you can legally give an 11 year old. Probably because you want him to be cool and/ or you can’t say no to him. I doubt very much you’ll bother trying to put any parental controls in place either. Makes me sick tbh.

I voted YABU. Smartphones are here to stay and kids need to be thought how to use them effectively and parents need to learn how to restrict access and teach kids good habits around usage. I wouldn't give a smartphone to a 6 yr old but if you have a mature 12 yr old that's a different story.

Smartphones for children is fine, it’s the silly parents who spend XXX on a smart phone and don’t parent control the phone and educate their children on the evils of the dark web!

Qustodio parental control app is current one we use for our teen children.

I don't know why anyone would by a child a phone anyway.

Yes, I agree with this. But also no phones needed for primary kids. Why on earth have 6 year olds got them?

Our school has now banned them apart from 6th form - so no more asking pupils to use them in class, which is why we got DS2 one before he was 12. He was the only kid in the class who had to use the school laptop.

think it’s pretty obvious that the OP wasn’t referring to this situation

👏🏻👏🏻

The irony of preaching about smartphones and SM via a link to instagram 🤣

I was thinking the same lol

@Firey40 I work in a school and the main issue with smart phones is parents that give their children unlimited access.

Nothing wrong with kids having smart phones if they're supervised and boundaries are in place.

DS1 (age 14) has a smart phone. No social media except WhatsApp, and if he breaks any of my rules he will lose the privilege of a phone.

What makes me laugh is parents saying they give their child a smart phone as they're walking to school on their own. It's been proven that this actually makes their journey far more unsafe; the number of kids being hit by cars or near misses has increased hugely. If it was about safety you'd buy them a basic phone that does phone calls and messages, not a smart one.