DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas

[Firey40]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDd86TftyNT/?igsh=MTZueGVicm1udDllNw==

The evidence is overwhelming.

Their brains are only young once.

We might not have known before….. but we know now.

STOP GIVING KIDS SMARTPHONES

I'm with you OP but the vast majority of people can't stand to hear it. Probably because they are equally obsessed with their own phone. (I don't own one and am on a laptop before anyone asks).

It's makes me laugh when they say 'Just teach them how to use it sensibly' duh do they not remember what it was like to be a kid/teenager? Did they really take advice from their parents and follow it to the letter? I can't imagine for one minute that they did but I guess it's what they say to make themselves feel better.

DS is a software engineer, he has never needed to know how to use a smartphone 'effectively' whatever that means. I think this is just another lie parents convince themselves of.

I am cringeing a bit at all the ‘clever’ people pointing out the irony of the OP posting this on a smartphone. Whilst I am not agreeing completely with the OP, she is posting about children being on smartphones and the possible risks. Not adults. Unless the OP is a 12y old child, her post is not really ironic.

Smartphones were only just coming in when I was a teen but from when I was about 15 I had an iPad. My parents set up my Apple account and kept the password so I couldn’t download any apps without their permission and we had a filter on the WiFi. I knew I wasn’t allowed social media/to look at certain things, so … I didn’t. Was only allowed to use my iPad/laptop at the dining table and not in my room.

there are plenty of ways to limit what your child accesses on the internet. It is something so prevalent in our normal lives now they need to be navigate it healthily and not just kept away from it to be left vulnerable later on

All i could get from this is that screens aren't addictive because you don't need to go into rehab for screen addiction like you do for heroin. Obviously that is just batshit. I mean caffeine is addictive but no one's going into rehab over it - or sugar or nicotine for that matter.

After that nonsense I wouldn't be able to take anything he says seriously.

What a ridiculous thing to say. I gave my 11 year old daughter a smartphone, she's 16 now. She needed it for communication and certain apps. She's never been addicted to her phone and it has never harmed her in any way. She is the least cool 16 year old I've ever known and I say no a LOT. I didn't even put parental controls on it because I sat her down and talked about the dangers of accepting friend requests etc. She also knows I can look at her phone at any time I want to, which I have done at random times and she has never had any problems.

Do I make you sick that I actually parent my child and don't blame other people and inanimate objects for bad or addictive behaviour?

It’s not smartphones, it’s the access to social media, porn as well as the incessant notifications are the real issue.

My soon to be 13yo has a smartphone with access that is controlled by us, he has no social media except WhatsApp and that is locked down between 8.30-7am. All other games and apps have time restrictions on them. It means we are able to contact each other and he can use all the other useful apps like maps, tickets, banking etc.

He is hardly ever on his phone as there’s no reason to be.

It's not the smartphone that's the issue, it's the (mostly social media) apps
Having access to bus and train timetables, a way to communicate if an issue arises, something to read while waiting for public transport are all good reasons to have a smartphone
But fb, ig, tiktok, etc. serve no useful function and shouldn't be on an under 18's phone

I thought the same.
I'm not judging but it is quite funny.

Social media is shit...a scourge on our peace of mind. It started off as a fun way to connect with people and share your vibe but being the way we are we can't play nicely. It has become a pit of manipulation and anxiety.

I see so much defensiveness from parents who've already given kids smartphones (times have changed etc. they're essenital etc) and I feel for them.

Very thankful my younger kids weren't part of this guinnea pig generation and won't be getting a smartphone before 16, like all the evidence suggests is safest.

Thinking that phones are probably bad for kids, and thinking that older kids do need them, are not mutually exclusive perspectives. It’s possible to hold both views.

My kids had them at secondary and are now at university. The had social media at 14/15 I think. They now comment on how addictive phones are, and how it affects their focus. My daughter thinks social media makes her anxious but she still wants to be on it.

I am glad they didn’t have tablets and phones before secondary I have to say.

On balance I think the pros of smartphones are outweighed by the cons. For all of us, esp children. But I think that ship has sailed, and society, and how we function and communicate, is changing for good. It is unrealistic to stop teens from having smartphones, whatever the advantages are.

Just a few stats from the office of statistics for those who insist there's no issue with kids having phones:

Around one in five children aged 10 to 15 years in England and Wales (19%) experienced at least one type of online bullying behaviour in the year ending March 2020, equivalent to 764,000 children.

Just over a third (35.0%) of children accepted a friend request online from someone they did not know and 8.5% had shared their location publicly, in the last year.

An estimated 19.2% of children spoke to or exchanged messages with someone online in the last year who they had never met in person before and 4.4% met up in person with someone they had only spoken to online, with boys more likely than girls (5.7% compared with 3.1%).

Almost 1 in 10 (9.5%) children aged 13 to 15 years received a sexual message in the last year (no significant difference compared with the year ending March 2020), with just over three-quarters of these (76.7%) receiving them more than once.

Just over three-quarters (76.7%) of children aged 13 to 15 years who received sexual messages received them more than once in the last year, with 12.7% of children receiving them more than 20 times.

The majority of children received sexual messages through photos or images (66.6%; Figure 3) with most receiving the messages through social media (78.9%) followed by an instant message (32.1%).

Completely agree

I packed (most) SM in, like instagram, Facebook etc, about 2 years ago and the peace of mind is top tier

plus the amount of posts that are bloody ads!

Literally everything in this list can be avoided (and has been avoided by all my kids) by actually having open conversations with your kids and having clear limits that the kids know and understand. The fact OP and others don't trust their kids to have intelligent conversations and make good decisions is really sad. No, teens don't always make good choices, but why don't you give them any credit whatsoever?

Phones can be really really useful and social media can be really fun. You just have to know the rules and be careful. Your kids won't manage that with an outright ban until they're old enough to circumvent you.

www.brightcanary.io/parental-control-apps-easy-to-delete/#:~:text=Qustodio,Browser%20or%20VPN%2Denabled%20browsers.

DD has SN (ASD) and that's the reason she won't be getting one (she's in year 6). The safeguarding issues are huge- and they're even bigger for children who can't make sound social judgements. She'll have a dumbphone and an oyster card; her secondary will be smartphone free.

It's massively icky to be tracking your kids, isn't it? No wonder they're all so anxious. Why would you assume your child was dead in a ditch? There is infinitely more danger on their phone than there is outside.

I think lots of people are defensive because a) it feels like a criticism of their parenting and b) they are aware (even if they won't admit it) that their own phone use is problematic. I'm not even on any SM really (unless you count here, on a laptop) and I think mine is problematic.

Just so you are aware, there are phones coming out next spring/summer that have the tracking/travel app capacity without a lot of the harmful internet access/social media stuff

Also hasn't the number of dumbphones sold rocketed and the number of smartphones being bought for kids gone down? Vibe shift coming...everyone is fed up.

Actually was just talking about this with a relative who works in the school system and has seen the evidence first hand (you can read studies yourself) as well as talking to friends with young adult children who are all really struggling with mental health issues. We also have relatives who work in children's hospitals and they are seeing the same thinks and are very against sm. A lot of kids struggling and in some cases commiting suicide.

You can have a phone to text your kids without net access.

Mine has a smartphone. We have parental controls installed so usage is limited to certain times.
To get to school, DC has to use the bus. The bus company ONLY issue e-tickets and they only work with smartphones.
If we could have a paper ticket/termly pass that was in another format we would but we can't. So smartphone it is.

Not all kids with smart phones have social media on it!!

My kid needs a smart phone to keep him alive, it's literally life support.

Stupid post.

Diabetic?

Technology is constantly moving forward and if we don't move along with it, going forward you may struggle.

A little example is, we used to be a paper society, applying for bank loans by filling out a form to post back, but now everything is done on line and a lot of the older generation cannot comprehend this and really do struggle applying for things online and honestly feel like they are being penalised and companies being ageist.

Alot of banking is online now, most banks are not open outside of office hours so can be a real struggle to just pop into your local branch.

I don't like social media myself or the stuff that can be quite easily found online but I would much rather educate my children in these types of things rather than see them struggle in the future because I have shielded them from it.

Yes kids will be kids and as much as we can eductlate them, the stuff is still out there and their curious minds may get the better of them. However I would much rather they learn these things now while they can be guided.

Ultimately I would never tell another parent what they should or should not do. I will teach my kids how I believe they should be taught and I will give them things if I feel they need it not shield them from it because of some Instagram or tik tok influencer thinks differently!

@Kibble29 yep diabetic, without his phone pinging off blood sugars & calculating insulin he'd be dead within a week.

@TwinklyAmberOrca do you have a DD around the same age as your DS? If it wasn't for the ability to make men's pictures go viral, instantly, there'd be a lot more sexual harrasment of school girls. Until the girls at our local high started to film the men hanging around the school at home time, the police was in complete denial that it was happening. Teens with headphones on have always been a risk crossing roads. They were in the 90/2000's when Ipods came out.