DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas

[Firey40]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDd86TftyNT/?igsh=MTZueGVicm1udDllNw==

The evidence is overwhelming.

Their brains are only young once.

We might not have known before….. but we know now.

STOP GIVING KIDS SMARTPHONES

My son is 18 next week he's Diabetic and needs his phone to stay alive.

I totally agree, but I doubt a Mumsnet post on the 20th December is the best way to bring people round to your cause.

I do understand that, as a parent. As a child living rurally, we were never tracked (2000s, so the days of MSN and MySpace, so definitely social media days 😄). I can’t imagine letting my kids cycle away for miles and walk through fields for miles alone etc but as a kid it was brilliant. We probably took my parents’ brick phone sometimes but no tracking, and the one time I did have an accident definitely had no way to tell anyone and made it home - good memories 😂

For me, social media is what I want to protect my kids from. Tracking wise, I’m hoping for a smart watch or locked-down old iPhone/ipod… pretty sure there’s some nice new phones coming out with maps/tracking/music/phone/text but no SM.

Reading 'Glowkids' is on my to do list but luckily my children aren't that age yet. I would happily give them Nokia 3210s. Lots of parents are equally addicted to TikTok/Snapchat and endless scrolling so its a wider issue too.

I think most parents have better things to do in the week before Christmas, than taking orders from random Mumsnet posters and their Instagram reels.

Absolutely! For me it’s instagram and mainly stupid fucking bloody MUMSNET. I want better for my kids and don’t want them addicted like me.

@Firey40 How old are your DC? What age would you allow a smart phone? Mine are teens, I won't be taking their phones away but I am interested to see how many parents are not getting their younger DC smartphones. When my oldest was in Y7 all of his friends (apart from 1) had a smart phone, do less Y7s have a phone now?

The solution isn't banning phones (why smart phones, reminds of when it was all flat screen TVs) it is teaching how to use them safely and wisely.

Similar to alcohol, don't ban completely and then kids go wild at 18. teach them to enjoy responsibly

@sunshineandshowers40 I’d say about 50% of the parents I know are definitely not doing a smart phone for their kids (currently year 5-7), for as long as poss. The others, either I don’t know their stance or their kid (9yo) have iPhones already.

My children are very tech aware and they love tech!

My children are now in yr 8 and yr 6 but have had phones from year 4. They've had PC's from at least then too if not before.

I don't think phones or computers are inherently bad. It's just important they are used mindfully and parents ensure good monitoring and education around their use.

My children benefit from the independence their phones give them. They have benefitted hugely from using their pcs for gaming, building things, developing and creating games, writing, making animations, youtubing, etc.. Computers are incredible technology and my children have gained so much. My youngest also enjoys learning to make the world of the PC come to life through 3D printing etc.. very creative.

Phones are so useful where we live. My children coordinate meet ups with their friends, chat to each other and take their phones when they go out and about so I know they are safe and could be tracked if needs be.

Both my children are very sporty, creative, intelligent and well rounded individuals, like many other children their age. I would say that the tech has done them no harm and in fact, has aided their skills and creativity.

It isn't the phones or the pcs or the tech that is bad. It's just important to use them correctly and with adult support for children and young people.

The Channel 4 documentary swiped is interesting. It focuses on phones but my takeaway was it was a combination of phones and social media. Social media also being on tablets and computers.

I'm holding out on a ban of tiktoc Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Reddit. YouTube only with limits. What's app is tricky because it allows texting and video calls across platform.

Loving down website access is a pain but worthwhile.

I hate apple parental controls. Google family is much better.

But a phone is a part of life for calling, texting, navigating, bloody homework, learning apps (Duolingo), banking, camera. So I'm off the stronger parenting and moving down the device approach.

There are still paper maps. (Why do they need a map to go to school?)

You don't need to Whatsapp. Normal texting is available on non-smart phones.

Bus companies really should make paper/ card bus passes available.

@Deargodletitgo my 8 year old walks to school, he isn't tracked and doesn't own a phone (it is under quarter of a mile) I truly think that if I had GPS on him it would make me more neurotic than not.

Or…. Teach your children not to be on their phones all the time. I never made an issue out of phones with my lot but they’ve never had to be told to put them away at mealtimes or spent too much time on them. I think if you make them so illicit, you’re making them more exciting and you will cause even more problems for yourself. Not only that, but to not have a smartphone in this day and age, is incredibly isolating. Any TikTok reels about that?

Thanks for your input, but my dc will still be getting the phones I got them. We're all allowed, within reasonable boundaries, to parent as we see fit.

We live in the world we live in. Smartphones are part of that world. I don't believe it's all sunshine and roses for a teen without a phone, I think we all make our choices.

Op, I can see you think you're a magnificent parent we all have something to learn from, but actually barking orders at strangers on the internet may be less effective than you are imagining. You can parent your dc as you see fit without worrying about how I parent mine.

I mean I think giving one as a gift is a mistake because it allows them to claim it as "their" property rather than a tool you are allowing them to use, setting the rules and boundaries and that can be taken away at any time.

I agree that it would be very difficult to be a teen in secondary school without access to a smart phone but you can absolutely lock them out of a lot of stuff and be very active in monitoring what they do and you do have to be mega strict on usage from the get go - so that it's understood to be a tool not a toy.

For us those rules include no public social media, no messaging with people they don't know, no phones in bedrooms, no phones during screen free time unless for homework, no password changes and a parent can pick up your phone at any time without warning.

There are also a lot of posts on MN "ordering" people to do this, that or the other.

AIBU to tell you not to let your cat out because they kill birds, etc.

If kids need to contact you, get a brick phone.

There is no need in 99% of cases to track your kids. Quite apart from anything else unless you’re literally checking in every 2 minutes you won’t notice if the bus has broken down/ they’ve walked in the other direction for some time. Especially if they have a brick phone- they can contact you in an emergency.

If you really must track kids get a watch. But I don’t think its healthy at all, absent SEN etc.

To me all of this tracking/ contacting us is just an excuse for parents who don’t want to say no.

My children benefit from the independence their phones give them.

What kind of independence do they benefit from that children in pre-mobile phone generations did not have?

I agree completely. I wish I could turn back the clock too.

If you don't mind me asking... did it affect their GCSE results?

We live in the world we live in. Smartphones are part of that world.

Only if we want it to be. "The world" is made up of humans who have a choice.

The irony of an Instagram reel on overuse of social media.

Like everything in life too much, without supervision is bad.

But controlled circumstances is healthy and normal.

Chocolate is bad for everyone, and children, but most people allow it. Some people allow unlimited Chocolate and that is clearly really bad. But most normal parents allow Chocolate on some situations and recognise its a normal part of life.

Paper maps don't tell you where the bus stop is when your normal train has been cancelled, or which alternative to use when roadworks/accident etc means that your usual route has been terminated early etc.
For kids using public transport for school or socially this sort of situation frequently arises.

Right:

”I’m an alcoholic, so I decided what is best is to make sure my children are given easy, unlimited access to alcohol, and I’m making it extra special by wrapping up a big bottle of Premium Vodka and giving it to them for Christmas! Then they’ll know how special it is ☺️

Given that my life has been made worse by alcohol, and I have suffered as a result, I feel the best course of action for my beloved children is to do exactly the same as me”

Obviously having maps in this situation is useful. But you can ask someone, like the driver.