To think this is a really weird thing to do with presents?

[Santaslittlehelper83]

So a family member has just told me that every year with the kids Xmas presents they rip off every label from presents that have been given, then tell them that all the presents are from Santa! I mean...wtf. I feel it's an odd thing to do, and also nice for the kids to know who has got them what and to appreciate and thank them for it. I've now written in sharpie across all her kids gifts! AIBU?

I know there are at least ten ways to 'do' presents and Father Christmas, I know there's no correct way... but I still think that's fucking awful.

I'd be secretly hurt if I had given a gift for her to take the tag off and say Santa had given it. I really enjoy giving presents - I spend a lot of time and care (and sometimes hard work>money) thinking of what the recipient would truly love to get, wrapping them creatively or prettily... and even though I'm not expecting a bloody award or a thank you card, I feel like it's me showing them 'evtheria clearly pays attention to what I say/knows me!'.

I disagree. I remember getting lovely gifts from my aunt as a child and the fact that I knew she’d chosen them for me especially made me feel very loved.

Also when I realised Santa wasn’t real it wasn’t such a blow as I knew my aunt would still buy me her lovely gifts.

I still adore my aunt and choose her very thoughtful gifts at Christmas, partly because I remember how carefully she thought about me each Christmas

I got a lot of presents from Santa and I believed til I was 11. I think some kids who like fantasy and maybe are a bit naive will not notice the inconsistencies, others who are more questioning and factual will probably stop believing earlier either way.

But why on earth bother to do this? Why not just let the child have Santa presents and acknowledge the gifts and generosity from those family members and friends that have taken the time and effort to chose and buy a gift. Surely that is part of the Christmas magic....not just having this massive pile of gifts just from Santa?

Haha “love language” I love it. This is very much me, I love buying presents for people, my DDs are the same. It is definitely a way I show love. I like to think about gifts for people and treat them when I can.

This is how I feel exactly, thank you!

My sister in law used to do this! She would tell us not to bother putting a label on our present because they would come from Father Christmas...

My opinion on this is that you create whatever magic that you want for your child with your own money. If I am kind enough to buy a gift for your child, I want your child to know that it was me that gave them the gift and to acknowledge that.

Bit cheap of you - expecting others to fund your idea of magic.

christmas magic is about Santa. Family members and friends can buy presents whenever they want they don’t need a certain day to do so. In fact I’d say it’s more commercial than magic. I find no magic on the aunty my son sees once a year to buy him a present that he doesn’t need. It’s the magic for the buyer not my son. I don’t want this person to buy him something but they insist they must. Oh well, many times this magic ends up in a school donation

Well it’s one way to avoid having to cajole your kids to write thank you cards .

pretty crass .
not sure I like it.
or what it’s teaching.

on other hand. If the kids aren’t anticipating gifts from you they won’t be missed so it’s a good swerve 😆

We give everything from Santa in our house.

DC are small though so wouldn’t be writing letters anyway, it’s us who thank people. Also, at their age it’s only extended family who buy for them - they all know we give everything from Santa. Also, family don’t actually send gifts, they only transfer money anyway and ask us to choose and wrap. They want to contribute to the day and spoil the kids but they don’t want to give a specific gift. When DC are a bit bigger and understand about Santa (around age 8ish), we will start to give things from other family members and from us too. I really don’t think toddlers would think very much about which Auntie had bought something anyway and the DC will know everyone contributed once they’re a bit bigger and have lovely memories to look back on.

its really not about saving money - we actually spend a fortune on gifts from us in any case and have no of the extra few sprinkled on from relatives, but they want to contribute and be included in the stories when the DC are older and that’s fine by us. We also send money to other DC in the family.

Very weird! In this family (for 3 generations now) only relatively little things in stockings are from FC/Santa - everything else is from parents, aunts and uncles etc. and if not there in person to be thanked, they must be thanked some other way.

In my day that meant the dreaded letter writing!! At least one side of the thankfully small lined sheets from the children’s stationery set we invariably received.

I don't think I'd have the balls/appetite for chaos to write in Sharpie on the gifts, though.

I'm curious: are these extremely young children? Do they not wonder why they don't receive anything off family and friends, like other kids do? Do they not themselves give presents to others? I can only assume they're about 2-4 years old with this going on!

😁👍. I remember those little stationery sets.

100% agree. Love thrives on a two way street.

Kids brought up to be indulged and not expected to appreciate or acknowledge the love, thought and kindness of others, can grow into adults who expect to be indulged and not show appreciation. They don’t make great partners.

@ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS My SIL is like you, so thoughtful and generous with gifts, takes her a lot of time and effort. It's really important to her. I'd feel absolutely awful taking her name off the presents for no real reason! Not that I could easily anyway as she gets personalised sticker labels for them

Think you’re putting too much thinking into this.

many countries it doesn’t exist two piles. Are you telling me we didn’t learn about appreciation and that British adults did?

And I guarantee you it makes absolutely zero difference to your child's enjoyment of Christmas whether all their stuff says from Santa or only half of it does or whatever. This is purely a parental thing for whatever reason. Parents tying themselves in knots to try and capture this mystical 'magic' that is just inherent at Christmas anyway for young children, no matter what absurd lengths you to go to hammer it home.

Tell her Father Christmas can source them then.

Oh no! That’s awful! The children wouldn’t get the opportunity to thank their kind relatives and it sounds like a cop out for the parents as they wouldn’t have to buy much stuff! Part of the joy of Christmas growing up was opening gifts from relatives and writing thank you letters.

I disagree that it's mot wrong. It's wrong to take presents gifted by someone and pretend they are from someone else. And it's wrong not to teach your child gratitude by asking thank you to the gift giver.

Plenty of magic can happen with a selection of presents attributed to Santa.

My brother in laws partner is Lithuanian & apparently this is quite common there.
(Or at least that's what she tells us). She has an older child & they have a little one together & any presents I have for them here have to be signed from Santa & the kids are told Santa left them in my house for them.
I think it's ridiculous as like everyone says, how do the kids then thank the various relatives & friends that give them presents. But I do it because that's what they want & who am I to argue.

Growing up & with my own kids too, it was always Santa brought everything Christmas morning. Nothing was from parents. But any other gifts they got from others they knew they were from them & they thanked them appropriately.

Personally, for me, it would be the family member’s mistake to make. I’d leave it to Santa to buy presents - nothing from Auntie Myrtle for Christmas , I’m afraid.

I suppose that thank you letters are a thing of the past

Each to their own, of course.

IMHO if people give money for toddlers, they’re basically asking you to do their Xmas shopping and wrapping for them, as a toddler usually prefers a gift to unwrap rather than choosing their own.

So, no need to thank them for the thoughtful gift, as there isn’t one. You’re only thanking them for giving you the money to buy and wrap it for them.

My ex MIL used to do this. It drove me crazy. She was retired and in good health. Regularly travelled and went out, booked and ordered things online. Yet, showed so little interest in her GCs she clearly didn’t have any idea what to get them (and never thought to ask). Or, frankly, couldn’t be arsed. For years, she’d thrust money on me when she knew I was run ragged with work, caring for 3 young kids and housework. I struggled to sort my own gifts! But apparently, she expected me to buy and wrap hers too. After a few years of it, I told her to give the money to my ex (her son) if she wanted someone to do her shopping for her.

When my DC were toddlers, I wrote the thank you cards and they wrote their name. That’s why we sent cards when they were little, as they couldn’t send texts. It instilled in them from an early age the manners to say thanks. We often used to make the cards as a little craft activity in Jan. They loved making them, sticking on stamps and posting them in the box.