Dh meeting female colleague for a drink

[Bookish01]

My dh of 20 years is very sociable and has lots of friends. He recently gave a female colleague a lift home from work and since then they’ve arranged to meet for a lunchtime drink soon. She’s about 10 years younger, single parent. She usually gets lifts with another male colleague and assume will continue to do so when their car is fixed.
Dh always been faithful and trustworthy. I’m in a bit of a weird place emotionally and lacking a lot of self confidence recently probably due to empty nest syndrome.
I said to him that I feel uncomfortable with his plans to meet her and he’s not responded well and said I’ve got nothing to worry about and he should be allowed to meet a mate, male or female. He’d be fine with me doing the same.
Aibu to ask him not to meet her? (It won’t go down well)

me too, I think some people as they haven’t experienced it, don’t think it’s feasible unless there is some ulterior motive. I regularly go out with my male colleagues, often one on one, be it drinks or even dinner.

it would be very lonely if I wasn’t allowed as I was a woman. But the men can.

i honestly thought we had progressed. Accepted women in the workplace and wanted them treated equally. But apparently not, we can onky socialise with other women or be excluded.

Does he take you out for lunch?

I am not sure about this. I have male colleagues who I am friends with and occasionally go to lunch with but I have known them a long time and that platonic closeness has built up. I actually do find it a bit weird that they have arranged a one on one lunch so soon if they just started to get to know each other. Having lunch in the work canteen on the fly together because you both happen to be there, fine. A pre-arranged lunch, slightly odd. Unless they specifically want to catch up about a work related thing.

He isn't taking the colleague for lunch - they are meeting up for a lunch time drink.

I liunch with colleagues regularly - I missed the memo that because I'm in a male dominated industry I should avoid spending any time with them and leave the boys to network together.

I've survived decades of doing this without ever jumping on any of them.

I mean, all my friends bar one is male. All my colleagues bar one is male. If I wasn't allowed to socialise with them alone as DH was paranoid it would isolate me a lot.

My DH has many female friends, some he's known for his whole life, some new and I never bat an eyelid when he's alone with them. Why would I? He loves me and shows me this every day.

God how embarrassing
like a cat pissing to mark its territory

I’ve been friends with a male colleague - I was around 15 years younger- it was 1000% platonic. We’ve met for meals and drinks etc, absolutely nothing untoward about it whatsoever! I was happily married, as was he and we just got on 🤷‍♀️

Also - we met up after we no longer worked together too.

Honestly, I would have no problem with this. My husband has lots of female friends and close female Co-workers who I wouldn't think twice about him going for a drink with. But I trust him and also feel that if he was going to cheat being jealous and weird wouldn't stop him. The issue here is that you don't trust him surely?

Crazy right

I personally don't assume every woman is remotely interested in getting her knickers off for any bloke who shows an interest. What I do think, however, is that the majority of men are thick skinned and conceited enough to think it might happen and to act on it given the slightest encouragement (which is usually in their over sexed, pathetic imaginations).

I have to agree with this. If it was overweight Brenda with facial hair and ten years older than him he would have dodged any reason to be seen out in public with her.

Nonsense, I’m Brenda, my colleagues go out with me. Give over with the ageist misgynistic stuff.

Absolutely not.

Have some pride and don't have a relationship with a man if that's what you think of him, then.

I can't imagine being married and going for drinks with a single man 10 years younger than me that I don't know very well.

That said I wouldn't ask him not to go - instead I'd tell him I'm not feeling great or very confident at the moment and I'd really appreciate it if he could put lots of time and effort into me and our relationship right now.

It seems like he's putting a lot and time and effort into his friendships and he needs to remember who should be his priority.

Do single men 10 years younger that you ask you out for drinks alone though?

My husband meets probably about 9 or 10 female colleagues and ex colleagues, possibly a few more, (on separate occasions obviously 😄) for coffee, lunch, dog walking etc very regularly. I never give it a second thought.

Why would you even suggest this. Talk about creating an awkward situation. Let them enjoy their lunch

I’m queer and would absolutely be single if my partner had some of these nonsense opinions about who I socialise with - because it would mean I didn’t have any friends at all! Some of you need to get a grip, you’ve either got trust in your relationship or you haven’t.

I can't imagine being married and going for drinks with a single man 10 years younger than me that I don't know very well

They are colleagues having a lunchtime drink. He didn't pick her up on a dating site.

What a load of total rubbish

I go for lunch with male and female colleagues all the time but it's never arranged. More of an 'anyone fancy grabbing lunch' kinda deal. That being said I honestly wouldn't have an issue with this.

Not sure how you can judge my sense of pride. I'm not in a relationship with anyone and haven't been for years. I'm just stating my personal experience (at the grand old age of 67 and having worked in many different environments and lived on 3 continents) of waaay too many men. Sadly I'm far from alone.

Well it might be a " load of total rubbish" in YOUR opinion.
But @ Sceptical123
is entitled to their opinion. And it makes sense to me.