Christmas is just additional wifework isn’t it?

[TheSecondMrsCampbellBlack]

I have a good marriage but still 90% of Christmas organisation ends up being me. I buy most presents, sort the shopping (albeit online) and it’s really annoying. It’s just WORK!

Last year dh did the kids presents and realised how much work it is.

YABU what’s the problem, stop moaning
YANBU, god it’s all a huge PITA, mainly for women

Yes. The question from DH 'What are we giving my mother?' says it all.

I have hosted the extended Christmas Day since I got married in 1997. For the first few years I really resented it, then I just thought sod it, it's not that hard really. It's actually far easier to just do it all myself, plan it, spread all the tasks out over a sensible period of time, rather than having to check up on others all the time.

Everyone wants the same thing, food wise, every year, so I don't feel any need to innovate and can cook lunch in my sleep now. If anyone doesn't like what I prepare they can do one. If they want me to do anything on Boxing Day, the tough. That's my day off.

I made my usual figgy pudding last week and forgot to put the flour in. I will be interested to see if anyone notices.

@TheSecondMrsCampbellBlack You married Rupert, Taggie! I don’t think he’s ever going to join in with “wife work” unless that means shagging other people’s wives!

YANBU but a lot of it is work created by women to meet standards they have set.

😂

I do all the cooking at Christmas (usually it's 50/50 but my husband cannot cook large joints of meat to save his life!) and I buy all of Ds's presents and put all the decorations up etc.

I draw the line at buying presents for his family though. We mostly don't because we don't have much contact with them but the ones we do still talk to I leave for him to sort out. Even when we did talk to his mother though I left it to him.

We divide the presents and cards up by family roughly (though he'll buy any coffee related things for my side as I'm a coffee heathen). He does the food shop anyway so does that although I do the baking. I do more of the kids' school and club extra things as I work shorter hours (still ft though). It feels pretty equal to me. Thankfully.
I couldn't survive in a marriage where all the house stuff was laid on me. I'd probably explode with resentment and be divorced by now.

The magic is pretty non-existent when you're the only one making it.

My SO does the presents for kids, family friends etc. - I do all the cooking, decorating, cleaning etc. I guess our household is full gender reversal ha!

Sat down with DH last night, was already in a mood because my back was killing from sitting wrapping all the presents, and he said something about the food shop - I just turned round to him and said "You know what, fuck it, next year everyone's getting money, we are booking somewhere to go out for dinner and you my friend are paying for it, i'm done"

We split work 50/50 in this house as thats how both our parents operate. However, he is a terrible gift shopper and I've had some major disappointments over the years - things like getting two of the same crappy tea mug produced in China (I don't drink much tea, they are ugly, and I've never used them), or some other Instagram or Facebook pushed crap item.

This year I said 100 gbp budget for each person, buy within that limit. I sent him a curated list of about 15 things I liked, with links and pictures, for him to choose from, and absolutely no Temu level crap - that works for your family, but not me!. I also said no excuse anymore for shit gift wrapping like you are a five year old, you have youtube, use it! At least he sorted his parents out - tin of Marks shortbread thrown into a box and posted to his home country. Thats ok though, we got a single (large) lottery scratch card this year which is a new low. My family we only gift if we feel the desire to - i sent Oodies to my niece, nephew, DB, SiL because I knew with their chaotic lives a chance to lounge on the couch is what they love most and Oodies would make it even better. I'm not sending anything to my other sibling or parents and no one is hurt, hell they don't send anything to me eithet lol!

Last year we didn't do Christmas much (made nice burgers on the day, fun and easy), but instead gifted ourselves a short city break just before, that was a nice change. Think we will do that again next year.

I do most of the planning and recipe selection because I enjoy it, but I have to project manage DH by putting up a calendar of what needs to happen when, and links to the recipes. Hes a good cook and happy to cook and clear up and do housework cleaning chores, just needs guidance which is a little annoying but whatever.