AIBU to think that you don't change your baby's nappy in the middle of a coffee shop?

[Anonymous2003]

I was in a coffee shop today and there was a family with two babies sitting a couple tables up from us. I looked over and I saw the father changing the baby's nappy on the seat (the soft seat side of the table, not on a hard chair). I know it wasn't on the table or anything and I think it was only a wet nappy but AIBU to think that was a bit odd... I wasn't in the toilets so not certain if there was a baby changing mat in there.

Well I was on a thread the other day where posters were up in arms about mums using the baby change facilities when they’re in the accessible toilet, which is often the case in coffee shops. So seems parents can’t win!

I have changed my babies wet nappy in a shop before, it takes 2 mins and doesn’t smell. I wouldn’t change a dirty one like this.

It’s grim. I think baby parents become immune to gross, but they need to be considerate to people with normal standards.

I really couldn’t get worked up over this. But there’s a ton of threads already about this where most people are absolutely outraged.

I think it's lazy and unhygienic.

That's gross - who doesn't want urine (at best) on a coffee table in a cafe

That’s bloody disgusting. I would have complained. So lazy and unhygienic.

Presumably they had a mat down? Even so if you are just taking a nappy off and putting a new one on most of the time you can do this without getting urine anywhere.

No mat.

I think it's disgusting and I don't care if it's only wee. It's a space where people are eating, drinking, touching surfaces and expecting them to be somewhat clean etc. Grim, do it in the toilet.

It's disgusting and unhygienic!
If nothing else, where did they put the dirty nappy & wipes? And how does the parent wash their hands? (I know in the toilet after touching a multitude of other objects around the cafe.... )

That is absolutely gross. Typical "don't give a shit about anyone else" parenting! If it was just a wet nappy, then one of them could have gone to the toilet and managed that perfectly well! Or waited! It's not like you spend hour upon hour in a coffee shop!
If it had been me, I'd have waited. It's a place where people eat and drink, not a toilet!

Not sure why they weren’t using a mat at least. As to the rest, without being there and knowing the situation it’s hard to judge with certainty.
Most coffee shop baby changes (if they have a functioning one) will be in the accessible toilet. If that’s out of action then the regular toilets can be too tiny to maneuver enough to facilitate a change even if the floors are passably clean enough to kneel or put your baby on. They can sometimes be in the women’s only which drives me mad. Like a baby’s nappy is solely mum’s responsibility or dad’s never take their children out on their own.
The wet or dirty nappy does make a difference, as does the age of the baby I think. Like a tiny baby still in a bassinet you can sometimes manage a discreet change in the bassinet if required.
I’ve been forced to conduct emergency changes in all kinds of situations, but can’t say it’s been urgent enough to do in the middle of a coffee shop. I also believe in giving babies some level of dignity and not risking exposing them to the general public as far as possible.
So on the surface and from my experience I would say this is weird as inappropriate, but then I also know it’s not always that straight forward and you can find yourself having to adapt to all kinds of unforeseen circumstances with a baby.

It depends where the baby changing facilities were ....if only in women's or non existent fair game

I used to think this but now having a baby myself, sometimes you have to. Sometimes the toilets are out of use or the changing tables are so disgusting I wouldn't put my child on there. At the end of the day they're a baby

It's lazy. I never did this with DD. I agree with PP that it's unhygienic and also an issue of privacy for the child. If there are no changing facilities and it's only a wee, the baby can wait 20 mins while you finish your coffee.

These are the people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom either. Gross. 2 children later I never felt the need to do this - wait for a baby change or wait til you get home or change them on a mat in the backseat of the car and use alcohol hand gel!

Almost all toilets have a changing table, YANBU

As urine isn’t sterile then yes it’s disgusting. Most coffee shops I’ve been to have a baby change mat/facility there where it takes a minute to use, not necessarily the smaller ones but definitely the bigger chains.

Almost all women's toilets have a changing table.

Mens toilets don't and the OP said it was dad changing the baby.

No, this is gross. A cafe I frequent has actually had to put up signs asking people not to change nappies in the cafe. There is a toilet with a changing table in said cafe. I can’t imagine changing a nappy and then picking up my flapjack to eat 🤢

Not all the smaller independents do have a changing table. I’ve been in smaller places where there’s a toilet and hand basin and that’s it.

Entitlement and poor parenting. My sister was in a cafe a while ago and someone got a potty out for the kid to wee in. I kid you not

It’s grim. If push came to shove, I used to change a nappy on my knee while sitting on the toilet, if there wasn’t a changing table. I absolutely would never have done it in public. It would be impossible without contaminating everything around you with your pissy hands.

I wouldn’t be bothered by someone changing a wet nappy on the bench. It’s quick, it’s not smelly and he can give it a wipe around with a baby wipe when he’s done.

OP I assume the bench was of a wipeable material and not fabric? Still pretty grim.