AIBU to think that you don't change your baby's nappy in the middle of a coffee shop?

[Anonymous2003]

I was in a coffee shop today and there was a family with two babies sitting a couple tables up from us. I looked over and I saw the father changing the baby's nappy on the seat (the soft seat side of the table, not on a hard chair). I know it wasn't on the table or anything and I think it was only a wet nappy but AIBU to think that was a bit odd... I wasn't in the toilets so not certain if there was a baby changing mat in there.

Grim. I have had two children and never had the need to do that.

Very thoughtless, and unhygienic. I would have said something.

It's so rude and unnecessary. You wouldn't wee/poo indoors anywhere other than a toilet so you don't change your baby in a public indoors anywhere other than a toilet. End of. Yes some places have substandard facilities or don't have a changing table in the men's and that is wrong, but 2 wrongs don't make a right.

Couldn’t get upset about that tbh. The number of “baby change” toilets I went in when DS was a baby, that were not just grim, but active infection risks (admittedly all central London where we were living at the time) with visible blood/ shit smeared around, and general filth was unreal.

This wouldn't bother me if it was a small baby. I've had to change my daughter balanced on my legs in the toilet in cafes where there are no baby changing facilities and it's really dangerous when they start being able to move more. Also had to change her in my seat on a train with all toilets out of order. If there aren't any facilities you just have to do it, it's unfair to leave your baby in a wet nappy!

I've put a mat down on the pram and done it on the pram in these circumstances. Or in the back of the car if no pram. On the seat with no mat is disgusting.

It's grim and entitled.

People having a coffee without small kids don't need to see it. Parents need to change nappies somewhere more hygienic and also surely kids and babies deserve a bit of privacy!? I'm not a prude and have three DC but I would never be cleaning their nappy area in public.

It wouldn’t bother me . Especially if it’s also a dog friendly cafe as I’ve seen worse in those so a baby being changed quickly isn’t the end of the world

I'm sure if the coffee shop argued their case they'd be shouted down for discriminating against mums/kids. This is the way these days.

You simply can't tell people to not do something these days!

Dad's.

It was the dad changing the nappy.

I can't be the only person who has gone to change a nappy and their child has decided to wee mid nappy change.
I think changing a nappy in a coffee shop is grim and the poor child deserves some privacy.

@kiana2015

but urine and poo is still gross and unhygienic whether it’s come from a baby or a 50 year old man. In a cafe people expect the surfaces of tables etc to be clean, they are paying to eat there afterall.

It was a leather bench

This was in a large chain cafe

If it’s only a wee it’s not something I could get bothered about.

poo nappies must be done in toilets but a wee nappy is not the same

@Feelsomuchbetter 100%. If they allow dogs then I'd find it hard to get worked up, since they've already demonstrated lower hygiene standards. "oh but my dog never jumps up / would never sit on a seat / try to steal cake / try to lick strangers / wash itself in public / shake filth and hair everywhere" - yours might not, but plenty do, it's much more disgusting in my opinion.

There should be a changing mat in the toilets then.

I think when you are deep in the 'little kid' years, some people lose perspective on what's a reasonable way to behave about stuff like this. I do understand as when you're dealing with bodily fluids all day you can get a bit immune to it all, but no I definitely wouldn't change a baby's nappy in the middle of a cafe. I think there's also a privacy and respect issue here, even for babies.

Surely it’s not too long before a baby gets too big to change on your lap? In the hundreds of wet nappies I’ve changed there have been barely any times when I’ve ended up with ‘pissy hands’ it is all absorbed in the nappy?

Not sure if OP has kids but when you’re a new parent moving in the baby group circles almost everyone just changes their baby wherever they are, it’s possibly a habit from that.

These days a lot of mens toilets do have changing facilities apparently. Certainly the places we frequent (though our baby changing days are largely over - just the gc). Men changing babies isn't unusual, or taking their children to the toilet.k

Reminds me of this post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/11rqits/cafe_etiquette/

That is revolting.
just because it's a baby doesn't make it any more hygienic and I'm pretty sure EHO would say that was not ok if they saw it. I bet the cafe had a lavatory.

the fact that anyone is attempting to justify this shows that some people are just skanky and lazy.

Oh come on, would anyone here really turn a hair at a Dad using the ladies to change his baby ?

Ok so how would you feel if the barista went for a wee, didn't wash their hands and then prepared you a drink ? After all, it's only wee, right ?
I imagine you might think it rather unhygienic.

I agree with poster who said it's lazy and unhygienic. Parents should use the toilets for nappy changing and washing hands too. Disgusting to do it on the soft chair or a table.