Aibu ti be slightly annoyed with DH for taking a Covid test

[Raspberrysins]

… and now we find out we are both positive. I’ve been ill with cold and cough symptoms for a week. I had one day off work then spent the whole weekend with family for my mum’s 80th. We went to abba voyage. I have been in the classroom. I have been out for dinner with colleagues last night. Until now, it was just a cold virus. But NOW I feel duty bound to tell people? I kind of prefer the living in ignorance thing! Should I announce it or not? I will def tell my mum. Not sure how I feel about Covid now that all the rules have ended. I kind of feel annoyed that he did the test at all!

So can you magically tell what's a cold and what's Covid?

No but why should we need to know? This is my point. We’ve probably had it every year without realising. We are supposed to be learning to live with it as another mild virus. Much worse to get noro or something like a chest infection. I know a small amount of people react badly to it but the majority don’t. Those people have boosters to keep their protection levels high. If we’re supposed to be testing still then why aren’t we?

Honestly, I think continuing to socialise when you have anything contagious. Especially so coming up to Christmas.

Did you warn the people you were meeting up with that you were sick?

A friend visited us with a heavy cold before our holiday a few years ago. My husband caught it and it sucked the enjoyment out of the holiday we'd saved all year for. So selfish. We could have seen her a week or two later and not spent the holiday with him feeling miserable.

Because the Covid virus is much worse for some than the common cold and you surely know that?

Yep.

If the government had struck to "strongly recommended" with things like masks and testing, more of us might be doing so now, out of common sense. But as soon as these things crossed the line into compulsion, many of us saw this as the beginning of a very slippery slope. We came dangerously close to compulsory vaccines. And then Partygate was the final nail in the coffin of government telling us to do anything.

If they aren't, they should be. Covid is still putting people in hospital and still killing them. If you know you are positive, you should wear a good mask to protect others, and make sure they know so they can avoid you if they want to. I always test if I get anything that seems like a cold. Covid can be quite mild, but it's no less dangerous.

Doing the test means you can at least now stop spreading it around.

But Covid is not a mild virus, though infection with it can be mild. This doesn't protect you from Long Covid, or the long-term damage Covid can do. We still don't know the full implications. Even a mild case can cause long-term damage to major organs, including the heart, the lungs and the brain. That's your children, possibly damaged for life. There was some worrying research that suggested there may be a link between multiple Covid infections and early onset dementia.

Please don't treat like a mild virus. It isn't. If you think you may have it, test. If you can isolate, isolate. If you can't, wear a mask.

Always, always test so you can keep the people around you safe.

Whoops, it won't let me edit it, but that should read "continuing to socialise with anything contagious is incredibly selfish".

Regardless of covid19, you went out socialising knowing you were unwell with something contagious. The mind boggles

As you can see from this thread, lots of us are still testing!! I test to prevent spread to vulnerable people! Because I’m not selfish!

I’d take a lot more notice of of your critics here if each and every one of them had said whenever they had cold symptoms they immediately use one of the Covid tests they keep at home ready to use at the first sniffle and that their whole household does not leave their house until they are all fully recovered. And of course, that should apply to any illness, not just Covid.

They don’t say that because they don’t do that.

As so many other people have said it doesn't necessarily matter what you had you still went out and about and potentially infected many people with an unpleasant illness just before Christmas. Some of them might get pretty ill even if most of them won't. It's not the fact that you didn't know it's covid that gets me riled it's the fact that you spread your germs around because you wanted to enjoy your social activities. Going to work because you might not get paid and can't afford not to is entirely different to continuing with socialising.

I have repeatedly said that the nature of the virus is secondary. What matters is that the OP not only mixed with healthy young people at the work she (not unreasonably) had to attend, but also chose to socialise in close quarters with many people, including the elderly. She at no point followed sensible ‘be careful’ guidance for ANY infectious illness - only mix with people for essential reasons; keep distance; ventilate well; practice scrupulous hygiene.

I follow ‘be careful’ guidance as if I have Covid / flu every time - to me, that is much more important than whether I test or not (I do also test if for any reason I cannot be careful, or if visiting someone very specifically vulnerable)

You need to tell people. I would be seriously hacked off if you didn't tell me as I have family members who need to go on antivirals if they get Covid.

Look last year I was pretty much of the option that Covid was now mild for most and we should treat it like a cold. The second time I had it I was just a bit tired for a week.

This latest strain is pretty nasty. It evolves. Some people may shake it quickly - my son did in 3 days. I haven’t been ill for a year. Yet this took me out for about 6 weeks. My doctor said people are going on to develop secondary infections with it. It has caused me huge inflammation that has lead to chest and rib pain. I had zero cold symptoms just sheer never ending exhaustion . Covid is just bizarre.

I think though we need to live with it, we also need to appreciate that it’s still quite a novel virus that causes huge problems for some people. It would be good if people could be a little less selfish and just stay at home when they are ill. And be mindful of visiting elderly/immuno compromised people.

Covid can be every bit as bad as those things. It's a mistake to trivialise it as a mild virus. I'd have thought that was obvious.

Which is why we should rely on our common sense. And it's beyond me why anyone's common sense would trivialise Covid as mild.

I don't see the point in covid tests now. It doesn't change my actions if it is a cold/flu vs covid to be honest. I say home if I am too unwell to work, WFH where I can if I am well enough and avoid elderly family members. Having covid doesn't change that. I do all those things with a cold/flu as who wants to spread that anyway.

I was unwell a few weeks ago with what I assume if the current covid going around. Really bad cold, in bed for days and left with a cough. I avoided all elderly family members for at least week I was the worst (I'd say closer to two weeks in the end I avoided them). Off work for a few days followed by WFH a few days. We skipped kids weekend activities (I was too unwell to drive to take them). I also avoided supermarkets and shops etc bar the pharmacy to get medication.

That's why I don't test. It's just weird. We have spent millenia living our lives together with viruses and often dying of them. This virus is not special.

I would have done what you did OP.

Felt ill have a day off.
Felt ok carried on.

This is the guidance we are all asked to live with now.

Completely reasonable not to do a test. You would have been expected to attend work regardless as you were well.

Is your DH trying to get out of some Christmas stuff 🤣

YABVU to be mixing with elderly/ vulnerable people when you are unwell, regardless of whether you’ve done a Covid test or not. Even if it wasn’t Covid, you wouldn’t want a vulnerable person to get the flu or a bad cold anyway, would you?

In my experience, the corporate environment (not somewhere traditionally full of vulnerable people) has changed since Covid in that now if you are ill, you don’t come in, to avoid passing it on to everyone else. It’s just common sense, especially as most office jobs can be done from home anyway. I apply the same rules in my personal life. If I feel rough, I don’t want to make anyone else feel that way, so I keep my distance from everyone. Especially loved ones!

I think people are being irrational about all of this and being very harsh on Op.

There's a lot of stuff about, there's no guidance from whoever about what you should do so you use your common sense. Vast majority aren't testing and I agree with a pp that it doesn't matter what someone has, they're ill. Having covid doesn't make a blind bit of difference Vs another virus such as flue or a cold on steroids.

So if you feel rubbish then you act appropriately, if you feel ok then you just crack on. OP quite rightly went about her social stuff as she felt ok and these days it shouldn't have to cross your mind that if you have covid you stay away.

I get there's vulnerable people out there but they can't influence others actions only their own. If they don't want to get whatever virus that may be about then it's up to them to take whatever action they need to take. Just because they exist in this world doesn't make any difference to OP socialising.

Anyway that's my opinion.

I think it’s polite to give people a heads up if you are coming out to socialise with any illness.

People may have a holiday coming up or be in training for an important sport event. They may have a crap immune system.

Then it’s up to them whether they miss the event if they want to avoid the ill person. I would. I don’t want to be ill at this time of year.

You are confusing the fact that we are “living with it” because fundamentally we had no other choice, with the idea that it is “just a mild virus like any other cold”.

People have said it repeatedly but it doesn’t seem to be sinking in: COVID can be mild, but it is not like any other cold. It has fundamentally different and poorly understood effects on the body, including long-term ones.

I am still testing with the supplies i keep at home, and if I’m sick, I do stay home for the first couple of days until I feel I’m no longer infectious. With Covid I would give it a longer timeline especially for vulnerable people.

I get there's vulnerable people out there but they can't influence others actions only their own. If they don't want to get whatever virus that may be about then it's up to them to take whatever action they need to take. Just because they exist in this world doesn't make any difference to OP socialising.

So everyone elderly, and everyone medically vulnerable, should isolate forever, so that everyone else can do exactly what they want to with no common sense and no thought? Rather than everyone taking common sense infection control precautions when ill (avoid unnecessary mixing with others; keep distance; ensure good hygiene; keep everyone informed; maintain good ventilation)?