Red Hair

[Motherland2624]

Hi 👋 i was wondering if i could get some help from you wise ladies
im 46 and have bright red hair its long well maintained and in great condition Ive had it for 10 years now i do sometimes mix it up with different shades but mostly stick to this colour
Ive recently met someone nice guy (I think ) high up corporate job nice lifestyle very casual which is ideal for me at this time in my life
He recently mentioned that my hair prevent would him from progressing to anything more serious in the future because the colour doesn’t fit in his world,I was a taken a back I’m a confident person or maybe naive I never imagined my hair colour would be a problem to anyone so AIBU should I go back to my natural colour I’ve put in a pic of my hair happy to take criticism

Further evidence that he’s no match for you. Not sure why his lack of confidence and social adjustment should dictate your hair colour. The entitlement is unreal.

Your hair colour wouldn't fit in in his village??? I live in a small village and I think his stupidity wouldn't fit in in my village. What a ridiculous thing for him to say.

He's talking shit OP, surely you can see that. He wants you to change your hair and is trying to subtly manipulate you into doing it with all this negging about how you don't fit in. Asshole.

I've had many hair colours since college (mid 40s now), and when I met DH it was pink. In the country he comes from no-one has bright hair and I got stared at everywhere we went, but he didn't give a fuck!

I agree with the pp, red hair is fine for a casual shag but isn't "girlfriend material", I'd dump him.

And if you changed your hair colour to suit him, (please don't!!!!) what would be next? The words "get" and "stuffed" would be on my lips.

You're a Marilyn and he wants a Jackie. He sounds a bit inadequate, bin him off.

I could have believed those more 20 years ago. We hate to admit it but we do have certain expectations and I can see a very stuffy corporate environment not taking people seriously. Does seem ridiculous when it's a partner, but it's possible in some pretty limited environments still, possibly? I thought we'd loosened up a lot. Mind you, we just make up new rules to replace the ones we ditched!

He’s an arse. Your hair is beautiful. I am envious

I'm going to take a wild guess that your hair colour hasn't stopped him having sex with you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your hair. He sounds like a tool. What other completely benign aspects of your appearance and personality is he going to demand you change to fit in with ‘his world’?

“His world” sounds dull, off he fucks.

I have some serious hair envy right now you literally have my dream hair! Chuck him, anyone who can’t accept you as you are is not worth your time

I can still remember my ex turning up at my house with a new tattoo, on his bloody neck! Massive great thing and I was pissed off. To my mind he now looked like a thug, which he absolutely wasnt, and I didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone that I couldn’t take anywhere fancy or who looked like he brawled for a living.

I think this might be a bit similar. I’m sure my ex is now somewhere living his best life with someone who loves a neck tattoo and I am happy in a forever relationship with a very corporate looking man who can wear a suit and not look like a bailiff.

At worst he's a prick, and at best he's a whimp who cares too much about what others think.
It's doubtful he's the nice guy you think. He knew what you looked like from the start, don't let any man get away with trying to change you. Your hair probably reflects your personality and celebrates you sense of individuality, don't let him take that away - next!

He sounds totally up himself frankly.

As if anyone cares a jot.

I'm normally an advocate for compromise on Mumsnet threads, but the important thing is knowing which things to compromise on and which things not to compromise on.

I think this is the sort of thing not to compromise on.

Absolutely this.

Having coloured hair - which is in great condition - is nowhere the same.

This guy is making looking conservative into a fine art.

What absolute nonsense.

Your hair looks great!
Wish I could do this with my very fine locks.
45 yo.
I couldn't even bother to kick him in the arse, OP.
Don't ever change for a man.

It doesn’t sound like you are compatible. There are men out here who would swoon over gorgeous hair like that! It would be like dating Ariel 😍 Never ever change it for anyone other than yourself.

I voted YABU because I think YABU to even consider changing it. He met you as you are, he should take you as you are.

Senior management, finance. This would count against you being promoted here, as would any visible tattoos.

Ask him who Louis Haigh is

What total hypocrisy: he obviously found you attractive with your hair as it is but is assuming other people will judge you for it.
Your hair style and colour are part of who you are. They are how you present your personality and character to the world. So you shouldn't change them for any one, unless that's what you want to do. Your body, your choice

Tell him after consideration you think his narrow minded and judgemental attitude isn't a good fit in your world.