Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

Still give her the Barbie but scribble graffiti all over her face and clothes 😂

Listen, I have a 25 year old and a 27 year old and a part of me would be horrified if they were married and settled down so young!! I'm well happy that they are out there living their lives, travelling, studying and experiencing life the way young folks should!

A LOT of my friends who married in their early 20s are now, in their 50s/60s, divorced and in some cases, remarried. You do you!

The frozen recorder lol - this is epic

Barbie is off on her way back to the Amazon man, the recorder has been dispatched and the food bank in town will be receiving two gorgeous snack baskets in the morning. I'm holding my own against my sister and just waiting for a phone call from my mum about all of this

Brilliant

😂😂😂😂😂😂

You shouldn't have to justify how much you spent on it. You treated yourself to something and that's ok 😊. If my daughter had done that I would definitely be expecting to replace it for you!

just waiting for a phone call from my mum about all of this

Is she likely to take your sister's side?

Well done for standing up to your sister. Your message is entirely reasonable. Stick to your guns even when your mum starts on at you about it, which she will do.

I have a daughter and if she’d ruined someone else’s property when I wasn’t looking, I would be coughing up payment for it or a replacement whether I liked it or not. Your DSis and BIL should pay for a replacement!

God I hate it when parents think their child's bad behaviour is cute! At 5 years old she should definitely know better and be taught there are consequences for vandalising someone else's property and her parents should definitely offer to replace it.

I have no idea. She changes her mind so often. Some days she thinks I do too much for her, some days not enough.

When you reply to your mum, don’t go into details about the incident, and focus any discussion on the parents, not the child. If you start talking about what the child did, your mum will talk about how she’s only young, and try to get you to back down.

Just state clearly that sister and BIL overstepped boundaries and that that is not acceptable to you.

Is your Mum likely to take your sister’s side?

Nope absolutely no babysitting, don't you dare! And don't give them any presents for Christmas either. Give the child obviously, she's 5 and doesn't know better but they do. They're only offering a replacement now because they don't want to lose their free childcare.

I suppose it's possible she's hoping that things won't be awkward over Christmas & she wants a reconciliation?

I myself have a different thread about my sister and based on some of what you're saying, your sister is not respectful. I'm not sure that rising above it to just to keep a relationship will not result in other dissapointing experiences for you from her (them). You should draw boundaries. I was supporting my sister's judgmental attitude for years and it just never ends. My mom had an older sister who also judged her until her death.

What bothers you probably is more your sister's attitude than the fact that the mount of money you've lost.

And you niece will continue destroying your things most probably. My stepdaughter, who wasn't disciplined by my DP broke a few jewelry iterms when she was 10, not to mention drawing on a bathroom door with red wax and taking my son's toys.

Not alot you can do now op.
However if it was me yes id be pissed of but then id put it away untill she reach somewhere in her teens and gift it to her.
As memory of what she did at 5 and you never forgot lol 😆

It’s mingey vibes aside, I’m wholly on your side. You sister is a dick. (Is she jealous by the way? Does she need to lose weight?) And your comments about your mum makes me wonder if she gets it from there. Anyway, you sound ace.

You’re doing the right thing withdrawing babysitting. Absolutely ridiculous for them to dig their heels in over £38!! I would be mortified if my child did this to a family members property. My DC once lost a really nice hairband that belonged to a friend, it only cost about £5 but I bought a replacement and had it sent to her. It’s not the cost it’s the principle.

well done OP!!! So proud of you. Stay strong!!!

Don't get into with your mother.
Silence is very effective.
"Noted" is a great response if she gives her unasked for opinion.

Your sister is a rude bitch and she needs to know that her card is now marked.

OP, people like your sister really take the peace of nice people like you.

With all they have in their lives, they still can't bear anyone around them to be in a good place.

Fxxk her, and all like her.

Take your space and do not depend on her.
She hasn't your back and never will.
That is all on her.

Do not be available to her again for childcare out of a misplaced desire to be around her child.

Your niece will end up being a madam most likely, just like her parents, and she will not be a source of joy to you.

Any decent parent would be embarrassed and appalled at what she did, but they chose to laugh at her, and you.

Teach her a lesson she won't forget.
She has majorly fxxked up and lost her babysitter.
She hugely over estimated your loyalty and tolerance for her bullshit.
She hugely under estimated your self respect and that you do not need a nasty bitch in your life.

Silence and distance are your friend.
Tell your mother stay the hell out of it if she tries to interfere.

Wow they are out of order. I'd be mortified in their position and of course offer to replace

I qualified it by saying the parents should replace it given the OP does love it. I was also answering & quoting the rest of this excerpt where a poster made a rude comment along the lines of typical opinion from the 'old dears' on mumsnet when others said they didnt like it.I don't take offence if someone says certain things aren't to their taste. My sister said her friend hated her big flowery wallpaper.They had a good laugh about their differences in taste. It wasn't in the least bit mean.

This is the wrong time to point out that the case looks bit like a vagina!

But seriously, your sister is completely out of order and her parenting sucks. I wonder what the niece will get up to at your parents at Xmas. Will they stand for it?