Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

It only matters that the OP doesn't find it ugly.

Did you tell them all the actual price and did you say you want them to pay for a new case? They can't read your mind so they needed telling. No one will OFFER to pay for a damaged phone case If they knew it was expensive.

Being petty, I would probably buy the girl something loud and annoying for Christmas but attractive enough that she'd keep using. Like sparkly tap dancing shoes.
But going forward, I suggest putting some stronger boundaries in place with DSis seeing as they have so little respect for your life and your possessions, despite you help them out with babysitting.

They should absolutely replace it. It was your house to leave your things around and she is 5 not 2 so you would usually be at to assume she wouldn't randomly draw on someone else property. Indulging that behaviour and allowing a 5 year old to use makeup might be things they regret.

One of those things isn’t it,

it’s their attitude more than anything, that you and your property are worthless, and dd is so special and cute. Isn’t it wonderful
she’s damages something that means a lot to you.

if they’d have apologised, given the dd a telling off, been suitably mortified and offered to pay, chances are most of us would have waved it off as an accident.

now it’s a big thing and it’s damaged your relationship, because you know exactly how they feel about you.

5 is old enough not to draw on other people's property. Of course they should replace it. I'd be mortified if it was my DD.

So many dick posts as usual.

At 5, the wee madam should have known fine well not to draw all over it. If that had been my 5 year old, I would have been angry and embarrassed, and yes, I'd be replacing it.

Put boundaries in from now on - she is not to slope off to any other room in your house and she needs to be supervised at all times.

Your sister sounds awful. Being married and trying for a baby by 25 isn't a goal any woman should feel the need to aim for!! You live your life the way you want to and don't let her keep putting you down!!

What awful, useless parents they are.

The child should have been reprimanded for damaging your property and should have been told to apologise. She's going to grow up to be one of life's cheeky fuckers - just doing whatever she wants, whenever she wants and never giving a shit about anyone else's feelings or property. Because nobody ever bothered parenting her.

I would give the child the barbie for christmas but I wouldn't give sister or bil anything. I'd use the money saved to replace the phone case that they should have offered to replace because their child destroyed it deliberately, knowing it was someone else's property.

Amateur. This is what you get the child for Christmas @losingweightandgainingconfidence

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Frozen-Recorder-Fun-Various/dp/1495013057

That's so beside the point. It's the principle involved!

I mean if this wasn't a 5yo child, I'd like to suggest giving the barbie to her for christmas with your name scrawled across the face in black sharpie. Perhaps you could give your sister/bil something with black sharpie with your name on.

The ebay ones are not going to be the genuine article.

£38 on the rhode website - that's what sister should give op

Lol - I'd suggested a recorder earlier, but this is definitely the next level - a FROZEN recorder!

I'd perhaps even go so far as to buy one for myself to play along with her, to get her REALLY into it, then as you leave say "Right I've got to go, but make sure you practice EVERY day! I'm looking forward to hearing how you get on next time I see you."

Worst case scenario, DN ends up a very skillful recorder player, best case scenario, she drives her parents potty. That's a win win in my books!

OP,
Your niece is 5 and at school, she's not a 2 year old who would probably do something like this. She's old enough to know that was a naughty thing to do, and sadly her parents reactions/parenting skills aren't going to help her.
They should 100% replace it, you shouldn't have even needed to ask!
Well done on the weight loss....

Yep @losingweightandgainingconfidence should be lugging her sofa to the airing cupboard and squashing it in there in case her niece draws on it next time. And as @losingweightandgainingconfidence is just as responsible for her niece i take it sis will be asking OP about having another baby next time

Buy niece/DS/DBiL cheapo presents (what you would have spent minus £38) for Christmas and buy yourself a new phone cover?

But I'm petty like that!

I was telling my 24 year old daughter about this and she's FURIOUS on your behalf OP! She knew straight away about which cover it was and how hard they are to get. She also said these old dears on Mumsnet don't get it 😂

An object that means a lot to OP as it was a treat for weight loss, which was presumably difficult and needed commitment. It's a symbol of her achievement - you can think it's ugly, but the OP doesn't.

lol and she is right

I am middle aged and out of touch, but my nearly 17yo dd knows these phone cases are the in thing. I knew the case because dd had shown me it.

I would call the child over so she could watch me put it in the bin. Then I'd tie up the bin bag and put it n the outside bin.

That way she'd know that it had become rubbish and she'd also know that if, in future, she did something like that again it wouldn't make it hers. It'd make it the bin men's.

I thought of getting my dd one of these cases, but her iphone is too old and shit! They are only made for iphone 13 onwards and notably, most of them are out of stock. Poor OP!

You can get shoes that squeak at every step...

Then definitely wrap it up for her for Christmas with a cheapo lip balm in. Refund her original gift and put it towards a new phone case.

And do this

Your dn needs her parents to actually parent her.