To think that Christmas at school is too much?

[GoldieLocks09]

I’ll start by saying I do really love this season, and having young DC it is truly magic to see it through their eyes but my eldest DS has just started reception and I just cannot keep up with the amount of stuff we have to do for school this time of year.

We’ve had a panto, movie night, craft fair, nativity, Christmas gift buying day, after school disco and Santa has been in (I’m sure I’m missing stuff too). The vast majority of these days have required non-school uniform - genuinely we’ve had about 6 in the last 3 weeks, with 2 more this week just because they’re having Christmas dinner and their last day of term, a lot of the time they’re asking them to dress ‘festive’.. I’m quickly running out of festive gear and to be honest the stuff he’s gone in has been covered in mud and slightly ruined for when Christmas actually comes because all he wants to do is play football at break time! Surely non-school uniform should be max once a term?! And a lot of these things require £3 for this, £6 for that, a packed lunch for this, etc. the money doesn’t bother me - the remembering does 😅 desperately not wanting him to miss out or feel like he can’t join in because he doesn’t have his money or doesn’t have the right clothes but feel like it’s a huge amount of pressure to put on parents along with expecting us to be available during business hours for various things when I’m trying to balance a career. Am I just being a Scrooge?!

Yes or I got a few from vinted 👌🏻 you don’t have to spend much and if you have multiple kids they can be handed down.

The amount of festive activities varies from school to school, as does the non-uniform days. I work in a First school (Foundation - Year 4) and we've had 2 non-uniform days so far and 1 coming up on Friday. There are lots of festive activities this week in my school including their Christmas nativity. In my school not all children dress up (not all children enjoy it) and it's left very much up to the parents with no pressure. In a Infant/First/Primary school, it's just something you get used too. It dwindles a bit come Junior school and non-existent by secondary!!

I've just been looking back at old photos, Christmas jumper day, crazy hair day, Christmas lunch, Christmas mass, Christmas disco, panto, nativity, carol singing in local care homes and in the shopping centre....

I've now got teens who say it doesn't feel Christmassy. It was a pain in the aree at the time but it was fun.

My 6 year old DS has been like this for a few weeks now. I’m relieved to know it’s common!

It happens my children every year 😔 the oldest is 8 and it is still happening. Even my toddler is over excited, without even properly understanding what is happening!

I feel you. This is a week we have Carol service Tuesday, cinema trip Wednesday, Christmas party Thursday and Christmas jumper/dinner day Friday. Not only does it add to the mental load for parents but it makes my son incredibly overwhelmed.

Ours is like this, but I've always liked it. It means kids who don't get much Christmas things to do with parents don't miss out, and saves the busy parents from feeling they have to do loads of experiences and outings.

Ours have panto, xmas jumper day, non uniform in exchange for tombola prize, xmas fair, xmas bake sale, crazy hair day. xmas lunch (mine don't like roast so i make a special themed pack up) & another non uniform just for fun, I have 3 kids in that school its quite a bit of work! I also think perhaps some of it is done for children who perhaps do not get a very festive holiday at home.

It is its own special kind of lovely festive hell, we upped the festive hell game by ending up with 2 brass instrument players! Any guesses on what is a brass players busiest time off year is????!!!

4 kids here. We had nativity x1 during school hours. Nativity x2 was in the evening on 2 days. Had to be dropped off at 6pm. Picked up at 7:30pm. Christmas carol concert 2 evenings. Both evenings had to be dropped off at 6pm and collected at 7pm.

Then we had disco x 2 evenings as 1 and 2(we didn't go to these) Christmas jumper day, school fair, lucky dip bags to be made and sold.

Eldest in secondary just had a Christmas jumper day and an evening performance.

But yes its crazy carting multiple children around for these things in the winter and when it dark early and when the kids are exhausted. And this is primary kids! My 5 year old is exhausted and it's showing!

Overwhelmed? Why?

As someone that works in the school office… yes 😂

All the organisation on top of my manic workload!

Yup, the non- uniform days are a real pain! One Christmas jumper ruined by a white board pen and a dress stained by mud. I’m not sending them in festive clothes next year, I’ve learnt my lesson.
It sounds like your school does a lot. Most of our things have been done during school hours. But we did have to pay £50 for 2 kids to go to a panto. Donate a selection box for the Xmas fayre tombola in exchange for wearing non-uniform that got ruined (which we were then had to try to win back at £1 a go - I didn’t…told my kids it was a waste and gave them their Xmas selection boxes early when we got home).
I love Christmas and love the kids to have fun. But some of the ideas are ill thought out and too many things puts a lot of pressure on families. I’m learning now and picking and choosing. And feeding back to the well meaning and hard working PTA!

I'm home schooling this year and tbh one of the biggest bonuses is not having to do all this stuff. It used to be torture for both DS and me, and we just skipped it this year. Blissful.

We did not get to skip the gut virus that was going round, unfortunately, but I suppose we can't have everything <sigh>

Writing as a teacher, please get together and tell your schools you want less stuff! I would LOVE to not have to give us my evenings to do discos, carol services, story nights etc. Want to spend that time with my own kids, not my pupils!

Dd3's school is the one that keeps on giving! She's 17 next week in year 12 and still does World Book Day etc and christmas is still very busy with school christmas concert, school house talent show (she won), her ballet and modern charity dance show (plus countless rehearsals), school play (thankfully only watched that not in it), christmas dinner and school trip to Winter wonderland! At least she can deal with world book day herself! Last dc of 4.

Also school church carol service and secret santa!

What you’re describing is a lot. Mine go to different schools which adds to the fun but such is life.

DD1:
Christmas raffle - come in non-uniform in exchange for a raffle donation. Buy tickets for said raffle.

Christmas performance - evening at the church. We needed to provide her costume but it was black leggings and a white top so all things she wears for school or pe.

Christmas lunch - no need to dress up. Just book it the normal way if you want one. Packed lunch if not.

Christmas party - come in party clothes.

Christmas jumper day - come in a Christmas jumper.

DD2:

Christmas songs and party - come and watch the kids sing some cute songs and then play at the local leisure centre.

DS is a baby so nothing for him yet apart from festive themed baby group sessions.

Add in clubs asking for donations, time, money for X, Y, Z and it’s a lot!

I’m really licky from a financial aspect as the school PTA covers the cost of the panto and other activities. The school organises stuff in school but we have an agreement as parents we save at those children whose parents can’t make it and take photos for their parents too so they ain’t missing out. Always mum guilt when you can’t make it but the kids love it

I agree. It's alot. We have all those things during school hours though and they send out reminders they day before what the kids have to wear. One of mine refuses to wear xmas jumpers so he goes in whatever he wants to wear. The only thing we have to go to in the evening is their school play. This year was my eldest sons last one and I can hardly believe it so it'll be over before you know it. Make the most of it. We also have a school party in the evening which I just drop them off at. They had a blast so it's worth it even though I'd rather be home in my jammies than driving around at night. I don't attend the craft fairs as that's usually on a Saturday and I need to work Saturdays.

I agree - I’m a primary school LSA so have been through this from both sides (often simultaneously). So many children never have these experiences if school don’t provide them; many won’t have money in their family for a special Christmas dinner or a festive outing, so a trip to the school fair where 20p gets them a Christmas cookie or a lucky dip prize can be a real treat, and makes them feel part of something, not just the kid who’s missing out again. It sounds like your school does more than most, but most will do a nativity, a Christmas jumper snd lunch day, carols and a Christmas fair. Unless your kid’s in early years, you probably won’t go to the nativity, you’re not there for the Christmas lunch so it’s literally no more effort than putting a different jumper on your child, and the fair and carols are optional. We’re in a pretty deprived area - we had a non-uniform day where the ‘payment’ was bringing in prizes for the school fair (so a bar of chocolate or bottle of soft drink etc for the tombola) and therefore a very small expense; Christmas jumper day for Christmas lunch (no extra payment if you already pay for or get free school lunches, just the standard £3.70 for children who’d usually have packed lunch, with jumpers available for the kids who don’t have them); the EYFS nativity and key stage carol concerts either directly after drop-off or directly before pick-up; the free school fair was directly after school until 5pm so no-one had to make time at the weekend; and the only bigger expense was taking all of KS2 to the local panto, at £11 per child (half price for pupil premium). Again, in school time so no extra time required by parents. It’s cost our parents £15 plus whatever they chose to spend at the fair, and has been designed to demand the minimum of parents’ time.

And to those complaining that ‘it’s always something’ - World Book Day, museum trips, author visits etc - you would no doubt complain if these weren’t offered to your children to help with their learning. Pupil premium children always get discounts or free places, and schools do, for the most part, try to keep costs down as much as possible, because if an activity is undersubscribed it can’t go ahead for anyone. The extras are the things that help make learning exciting and accessible for every child, and they always tie into a large chunk of what they’re learning in class. You may have the option to provide theatre trips, museum visits or extracurricular sports for your child when it suits you - many don’t, and if those things happen through school, it’s churlish to begrudge them, or the time staff spend giving children these experiences.

Yes you are.
These days fly by, and you’ll have sulky teenagers before you know it.
Get used to it, get organised and enjoy it as much as you possibly can because you’ll miss it when it’s over.

I could have written this! It's so much and so hard to keep track of what they're meant to wear. Mine is in P3 and it's just felt like a lot this year. So stressful. And always it's on me as mum to remember the bloody Xmas jumper days.

I think the problem is the 'keepers' will be different for everyone.
For example, neither me or my DCs like the carol services but Christian families would be very upset to see them go. I absolutely love the gift stall our PTA run, where you pay in advance for X-number of men's, women's and kid's gifts and they pick from a selection in school: it avoids the rather-stick-pins-in-your-eyes pain of helping them choose in an actual shop (choice overload) plus is much cheaper IME as not guilted into going over budget. However, I can see it adds financial burden to families that are struggling and wouldn't otherwise have had their DCs buy gifts for their DPs and DGPs.
How would you choose what to ditch?