To think that Christmas at school is too much?

[GoldieLocks09]

I’ll start by saying I do really love this season, and having young DC it is truly magic to see it through their eyes but my eldest DS has just started reception and I just cannot keep up with the amount of stuff we have to do for school this time of year.

We’ve had a panto, movie night, craft fair, nativity, Christmas gift buying day, after school disco and Santa has been in (I’m sure I’m missing stuff too). The vast majority of these days have required non-school uniform - genuinely we’ve had about 6 in the last 3 weeks, with 2 more this week just because they’re having Christmas dinner and their last day of term, a lot of the time they’re asking them to dress ‘festive’.. I’m quickly running out of festive gear and to be honest the stuff he’s gone in has been covered in mud and slightly ruined for when Christmas actually comes because all he wants to do is play football at break time! Surely non-school uniform should be max once a term?! And a lot of these things require £3 for this, £6 for that, a packed lunch for this, etc. the money doesn’t bother me - the remembering does 😅 desperately not wanting him to miss out or feel like he can’t join in because he doesn’t have his money or doesn’t have the right clothes but feel like it’s a huge amount of pressure to put on parents along with expecting us to be available during business hours for various things when I’m trying to balance a career. Am I just being a Scrooge?!

Sixth year of it now and it gets easier each time.

I agree that its positive for the kids who either don't have a stable family situation or not much money and won't have much of a celebration outside of school for some reason.

It also brings everyone together and provides memories that the children will really remember in years to come.

That’s a lot! My kid only had one show which included Xmas brunch and Santa visit - so 2 hrs on a weekend.
now at reception it’s a Xmas show one day and a Xmas movie during school time on the last day of school.

My friend, reception is only the very top of the ice berg.

Get used to starting to fucking loathe Christmas because you are so overwhelmed you're worried you're going to be committed before you even make it to the big day.

Excuse the rage but I've got a massive work deadline this week and have so far had four performances to attend right in the middle of the day (I only have 2 children) and currently averaging about 3 broken hours of sleep a night. Ready to murder Santa himself.

Ps: Its not just like this at Christmas. Wait for Easter, world book day, spring fairs, summer fairs this day that day and a million fucking other things too.

Ok. I'll try to get back to sleep now.

*tip

That's a lot, it does seem like way too much.

At our school they have a concert, which is only half an hour or so, they have a school elf on the shelf, and a Christmas shopping day, which I think is great because a lot of the kids come from families where money is tight and they love being able to pick a gift.

Anything else requires no work from home, they have a special dinner one day, and they usually watch a Christmas film at some point.

The money thing would be a problem here so maybe that is part of it.

As a primary school teacher, I have a great idea for a special week. It’s called ‘normal timetable week’. Literally never happens, and we do far less than some schools, because we don’t have a PTA and our families don’t have a lot of money.

Agreed. You learn to just roll with it and put everything in your calendar the moment you first hear about it. Once you figure out the annual list of happenings, you get a store of items you can easily produce for each 'special' day: Pudsey ears, an oversized Xmas jumper from Vinted that will do for a few years, ditto plain T-shirts in various colours for the 'wear green for X charity' days. Brace yourself for World Book Day and maybe have ready a list of characters for your DC to choose from using items you already have in the house (I tend to work backwards, ie they have a witches costume in the fancy dress box, so have a quick browse over their bookshelves for books with a witch in) - I do not recommend giving them free choice of character!

I find the end of the school year much worse than the run up to Xmas to be honest. Their tiredness gets a bit of a reset each holiday, but not completely and the cumulative effect means they are running on fumes by mid June IME, and there is just as much on, if not more in the Summer (regular sports day, inter-house sports day, pupils vs teachers rounders, school play, disco, school trips and residentials etc etc). I'm not convinced it is the end of term activities that do the tiring, however, but suspect a lot of the film days and house fun days etc are run because the kids are already 'done', past the point where much effective learning can happen, and could have done with breaking up a week earlier.

I currently have one in lower school and one in middle, so the admin for me is horrific. I am ticking off the weeks until September, when DC2 goes to middle school, so I only have 1 schools' worth of events to track again.

I don't find the (many, many) mufti days an issue even with my ND DC though: both DCs hate their uniform and are only too happy to ditch it, particularly the tie and shirt, in favour of something comfortable and usually far more practical to their day. This far outweighs any unhappiness over a change of routine.

Oh, and we very much pick and choose from anything that is outside school hours - do not feel you have to do it all!

Yep it's lovely but it's also too much!

I get at least 5 emails a week from the school asking for various things.

And now my dd is in y3 they have a residential which is great - she's so excited, but it's £200 and I've just been made redundant.

I'm just lucky my mum is helping me with the cost of things because I'd be screwed otherwise.

That is a lot!
At my youngest's school they do some Christmassy stuff during the school day (Christmas meal, Church thing, Christmas crafts etc.) but nothing is required from home (no special clothes except maybe an elf hat, but the school provides if you don't have one, no money, no parents having to come in or anything) and then the Christmas show which is two evenings (one evening on the A classes and one evening for the B classes so unless you have a child in a B class and a child in an A class, you only need to go to one)

Our school does nowhere near this much! One Christmas event per year group - either nativity or carols. A trip for reception and a January panto for KS2. A Christmas jumper day, Christmas dinner, end of term party day and a Santa themed winter sports type day. A hamper raffle also takes place. It sounds like a lot written down but there’s very little parents need to engage in really. 2-3 days of Christmas clothes, a bit of cash for tickets, a gift for the raffle, one assembly.

That does sound quite a lot tbh. Could your just go in the same 'festive' outfit each time - dark trousers and a christmassy top?

That sounds way too much for parents and for children.

At my school, the disco was in November, completely separate from Christmas.

There's one performance (either Nativity, carol concert in school or carol concert in church, depending on year group) and that's ticketed because of numbers but tickets are free.

Only other events are Christmas bazaar, Christmas dinner and Christmas Party.

Only 2 non-uniform days - Christmas jumper on bazaar day plus party clothes on party day.

Only extra expense is bazaar. Parents can order Christmas dinner and school party food (same system and same cost as normal school dinner) or send a packed lunch on Christmas dinner and party day.

I think that's a good balance. Enough to be exciting but not so much that it gets overwhelming.

That is a lot. My children have a carol service on one evening and Christmas lunch where children can wear a Christmas jumper/own clothes with an optional £1 donation to local homeless charity. That is very similar to every school that I have worked in.

It used to seem mad years ago and we only had a Bazaar, Nativity or Carol Concert, a Christmas party and possibly a jumper day to remember.

Some schools seem to go crazy with events and demands for money in a really long, busy term where people tend to get coughs, colds and flu.

At the time I reflected on my parents' involvement in school 30 years earlier. They both worked but in a lot of households one parent didn't. Their sole involvement in December was to turn up for one Nativity play.

It needs to be reined in.

Exhausted just reading some of these! Our school definitely doesn't do all that - we had a mufti day where you donated items for the various tombolas at the Christmas fair, the Christmas fair itself (held straight after school finishes), Christmas Jumper day (same day as the Christmas lunch) and a Christmas performance. And for the latter, DD just had to wear a black t-shirt and leggings and they made accessories at school.

No evening events, no huge extra costs. Even the rest of the year is fairly chilled out - they do world book day but that's about it. Clearly it all varies school to school though!

It is full on at primary school. But when they get to secondary school it calms down a bit 😊

I have 3 primary children and I am a teacher in a primary school and keeping track of it all and what's happening in what school when with what child is a nightmare 🤣!

As they get older there is less on though, the first few years are the worst but you will miss it when it's over! 🤣

Last week we had Xmas jumper with Xmas lunch, Xmas jumper day, Christmas maths (parents in classroom) and Xmas show.
This week is Xmas party today so party clothes, found out yesterday, Xmas bonanza in the playground and carol singing around the tree.
Need to throw in dance Xmas clothes tonight and carol singing.
Ds8 is ready to collapse into tears and can't wait for school to finish now. He'd rather sit quietly with me at work than go Xmas food shopping even though he would get spoilt rotten there.
On the plus side five years down only two to go 🤣

My son really struggles with changes in routine and Christmas has almost had us back on the edge of school refusal.

Between nativity rehearsals, the show itself, the fair, the lunch day, the party day, the school trip, etc, hit off the heels of children in need and he is really struggling.

It is too much. I wouldn’t want them to do nothing but having to manage this constantly for almost a month is a struggle. Whether your child is to young to cope, just gets tired, has ASD, has an illness or disability, or any other reason, there are lots of kids who find it all too much.

Mine is old enough now at 10 to be reassured by the fact he only has one more year of this next year then it’s high school where there is a lot less fuss.

Yours does sound a lot. It is too much I think. Kids are easily pleased, sometimes I think we go over the top these days to deliver this magical Christmas, but actually kids experience that by seeing some twinkly lights on the route home, decorating the tree, making paper snowflakes, singing to Christmas songs on the radio. I think we have good intentions but the overwhelming (not to mention expensive!) number of options available now are just so over stimulating to so many kids.

Same here Giant. Year 5 DS with ASD has just told me he cannot do it this week as it’s all so chaotic. I don’t even know what clothes to send them in today as there are so many different messages. They should have a couple of days of Xmas things. We’re in week two of this bedlam.

Since having kids it’s really hit me the pressure on parents during Christmas, I heard about it before obviously but always thought parents were being a bit…dramatic? How I’ve eaten my words. Christmas dinner, jumper day, winter showcase, nativity, Santa visit etc etc etc. then every one of their clubs has a ‘Christmas special’ session or party. Along with DH and I Christmas parties and events December has felt completely bonkers this year. We do very chill elf on shelf, don’t stress about keeping up with Joneses with decs or clothing or gifts but it’s still just all added up and been sooo much more expensive than anticipated. No advice just solidarity.

Yes, it’s been a lot more this year thanks to a new money hungry PC. Yes it all goes back but it costing low income families a fortune. Biscuit was a gift shop at £3 per item and I got a fave mask worth £1 max. Absolute rip off.