To think that Christmas at school is too much?

[GoldieLocks09]

I’ll start by saying I do really love this season, and having young DC it is truly magic to see it through their eyes but my eldest DS has just started reception and I just cannot keep up with the amount of stuff we have to do for school this time of year.

We’ve had a panto, movie night, craft fair, nativity, Christmas gift buying day, after school disco and Santa has been in (I’m sure I’m missing stuff too). The vast majority of these days have required non-school uniform - genuinely we’ve had about 6 in the last 3 weeks, with 2 more this week just because they’re having Christmas dinner and their last day of term, a lot of the time they’re asking them to dress ‘festive’.. I’m quickly running out of festive gear and to be honest the stuff he’s gone in has been covered in mud and slightly ruined for when Christmas actually comes because all he wants to do is play football at break time! Surely non-school uniform should be max once a term?! And a lot of these things require £3 for this, £6 for that, a packed lunch for this, etc. the money doesn’t bother me - the remembering does 😅 desperately not wanting him to miss out or feel like he can’t join in because he doesn’t have his money or doesn’t have the right clothes but feel like it’s a huge amount of pressure to put on parents along with expecting us to be available during business hours for various things when I’m trying to balance a career. Am I just being a Scrooge?!

I hear you. In reception last year they did 4 nativity performances, a panto visit, a shopping thing for the kids to buy for parents, a church service they performed in, a disco, a Christmas meal, jumper day, movie afternoon, class party we provided food for and that’s off the top of my head.

That all included the 3 year olds in the nursery class too, I literally don’t know how they coped.

This year DD’s opted out of anything not in the school day and it’s still mad but she’s adamant she’s tired and not doing more than she has to and more power to her.

YANBU I'm going to try and make a golden ring out of a hula hoop and tinsel yesterday, my only solace is that my child is in y6 so I'm done with this endless crap

Thank god I’m not the only one! He is loving it (although is bloody knackered and highly emotional because there’s so much going on all the time), so I would hate for him to miss out - I know he doesn’t HAVE to go to the out of school hours stuff, but with both me and DH working full time it’s nice he gets to do stuff like this, I just would like it to be a little bit less and not as demanding.., the constant juggle of remembering something else is happening and I need to buy/find/wash/pack for it, just feels a lot! Although I do need to get better at being organised with it, putting it in my phone straight away is a great idea.. praying by the time my youngest DS gets to reception I’ll be an absolute pro at this!

Totally agree @GoldieLocks09 it's totally ridiculous. I'm overseas with a 4 year old and it's not been so bad but my son has ASD and any changes to routine/something out of the ordinary really stresses him and we get a lot more anxiety around school/school refusal. All of the NT kids have been all over the shop for weeks as confirmed by the teachers - lots of tears. And I thought we got off lightly- kids don't wear uniform anyway so that's one bonus. But in 4 weeks we've had christmas fair, parents and kids breakfast at school, meet Santa, school trip, kids carol service for kids.
I have a friend in the UK with 2 kids with Autism and she said its been horrendous to the point the school asked her to take her child home for breaks because they were so overwhelmed - christmas market, 2x nativities, non uniform days, parties, pyjama day at school. I presume the majority of kids enjoy it otherwise they wouldn't do it but it's alot. I've got other friends who have had to fork out all sorts beyond their budget - school trip to panto, give a christmas gift box, charity donations, christmas market.

Can I add Christmas themed homework? Takes much fucking longer to think of and do than normal fucking homework! We do plenty of crafts at home but it’s just a ballache to have to come up with something extra like this with a theme and the pressure the kids feel to make it good enough.

Yup my thoughts exactly. It doesn’t get better and sounds like you are just getting used to a kid being in school. End of school is like that too - sports day, school concert, summer fair, summer camp out, disco etc etc. And then come all the extra things - sports teams, swimming, book fair, discos, court games, author visits, dress down days, plays and concerts, etc etc.

Yeah schools don’t care if you work full time or that they seem to communicate at least 1-2 times a day about this or that. I say to my hubby it’s almost a full time job having a kid in school.

My best advise is to accept it as it is what it is and get super organised. Let your kid wear a cheap Christmas jumper or just their school uniform.

and they are so keen to not miss any of the fun, the kids are attending school even though they’re really obviously sick. Then my kids catch it just in time to be sick all of Christmas.
This seems to happen every year.
(currently sitting up with 3 kids who have flu 🤒)

A lot of kids just get too overwhelmed

It gets worse the more you have at school.

I timed my three so badly, I had 21 fucking years of it!!!! God I was so bloody relieved when the last one finished!!

Our nursery is festive for whole of December 😵‍💫 and have a party week to ensure nobody misses out - my mental load is already stretched to the max so having to plan festive outfits for nursery just stretch me to breaking point 🤦‍♀️

Don't do all of them.

I live in Australia, we have all this plus end of school year activities and celebrations.

Wow, that's a lot. My youngest is in year 6 and he has a Christmas lunch on Wednesday, he is a narrator who wears school uniform and says 1 line in the nativity play on Thursday and he can wear something festive on Friday. So nothing too difficult and everything in the last week.

I had children in two separate schools for 7 years. I have no idea how I still have even a modicum of sanity.

I do sometimes miss the nativities, the school Christmas fairs, the carol concerts, the orchestra evenings... and then I wake up.

Completely agree, kept my DD off today for this very reason, so much socialising over past few days too and various events, saw Santa 3 times in 4 days! 😳
She had a sporting competition this afternoon so I left her off school to physically and mentally rest. She has sensory processing dysfunction too though so this exacerbates it..

I think people reach breaking point when they do all the Christmas school stuff AND loads of Christmas stuff outside of school too. My DC have a busy Christmas school schedule but we just chill and get outdoors at the weekends in December to counteract it.

I think the festive stuff gets a bit more spread-out in the US because they also have Thanksgiving.

Yep it's exhausting. Nativity, Carol service, Xmas Jumper day, Xmas Fayre, take £1 in for wearing tinsel (or something) and a bottle for the tombola etc.
This year is the first in 12yrs that I no longer have a child in primary school and it's absolutely bliss. Cruising through December with no school obligations 😎

That's before you add in the festive celebrations of their out of school activities. Guides Christmas parties, Scouts Christmas parties, Sunday School Christmas outing to the panto, a festive ballet performance for parents, yada yada yada. Eldest was in a youth orchestra, so a school concert and a youth orchestra concert on top!! Plus the PTA Christmas night out (that I only joined because as a FT wohm, I felt I had no contact with the school!!!)

Thanks be to god that swimming didn't do anything!!

And the cards and the presents for teachers. Plus the TAs. The school caretaker. (dinner ladies, I'm sorry I didn't include you but my kids usually took packed lunches!) And the leaders of all their activities. And cards for everyone in the class.

OMG all my nightmares are coming back to haunt me!!!

I think it's nice for the kids who have difficult home lives. Or there's stuff going on and their parents aren't doing anything for Christmas.
It's great they get all that festive fun at school so they don't miss out, they still get a Christmas experience.
It can be stressful as a parent who cares yea I get that... this week is mental for Christmas performances and events.. I'm exhausted.
But I'm glad the kids are having fun. Not all the kids have people at home who will be doing anything for Christmas, some rely on these school events. Even if their parents aren't attending they still get to do all this stuff.

Tbf, the overly emotional and flying off the handle bit tends to be the run up to Christmas in many schools, regardless of school activities.

Honestly, I can top that. Our school has a chapel choir which is pretty much professional. They have had a 10 Xmas concerts over the last 2 weeks. I’ve had to attend loads, cart the children up and down the county, wash uniforms. They don’t finish until 9.30/10 at night then it’s up for school at 6am. Then there’s been all the usual school events. Luckily they broke up on Friday as I was on my knees! Had hardly got any work done in the last 2 weeks!

Yeah school hasn't been too crazy this year

We have a clothing schedule (red shirt, Christmas t-shirt, pyjamas etc)

And a special breakfast on Fri

That's it

It's enough!

You don't have to join in the evening events if you don't want to..

Mine had a Christmas jumper and a felt santa hat (£1 from the market) stuffed in their school bag to wear when needed. They wore the same thing to every event.

Events make the last weeks of term a bit special and raise funds for the school. Add them to the calendar on the side of your fridge, like most people. 😁

I think it is a bit too much as well - it takes a lot of time away from their actual subjects if it starts before the last week of term (although I think being in a play a couple of times in primary is also educational). It also feels exclusionary to me to make such a big deal of one specific festival only - I appreciate that British people of many religions take part in a secular "Christmas" but there is a weird balance between doing everything in a secular way and thus ignoring the actual root of the festival or making it Christian and then unfair.

However, my main gripe is that when it becomes a constant fiesta it impinges on being able to do things at home - it isn't special to see Santa with your family if you saw him three times last week already, little kids burst into tears on evening trips to winter lights etc because they are so shattered/overwhelmed from it all that there is no more cope left at the weekend, etc etc.