To think that Christmas at school is too much?

[GoldieLocks09]

I’ll start by saying I do really love this season, and having young DC it is truly magic to see it through their eyes but my eldest DS has just started reception and I just cannot keep up with the amount of stuff we have to do for school this time of year.

We’ve had a panto, movie night, craft fair, nativity, Christmas gift buying day, after school disco and Santa has been in (I’m sure I’m missing stuff too). The vast majority of these days have required non-school uniform - genuinely we’ve had about 6 in the last 3 weeks, with 2 more this week just because they’re having Christmas dinner and their last day of term, a lot of the time they’re asking them to dress ‘festive’.. I’m quickly running out of festive gear and to be honest the stuff he’s gone in has been covered in mud and slightly ruined for when Christmas actually comes because all he wants to do is play football at break time! Surely non-school uniform should be max once a term?! And a lot of these things require £3 for this, £6 for that, a packed lunch for this, etc. the money doesn’t bother me - the remembering does 😅 desperately not wanting him to miss out or feel like he can’t join in because he doesn’t have his money or doesn’t have the right clothes but feel like it’s a huge amount of pressure to put on parents along with expecting us to be available during business hours for various things when I’m trying to balance a career. Am I just being a Scrooge?!

I agree it's too much and puts a lot of pressure on parents. I too love this time of year but started to slightly dread December when DC was at school in the UK. We're now on the continent and there are far fewer Christmas events at school - just this week really, the last week of term - and it has somehow made it all much more special and festive and exciting for DC.

I loved it when my daughter was at primary school. She had Christmas jumper day, Christmas party day, Christmas disco, Christmas craft day, Christmas dinner in Christmas clothes day and then the end of year Christmas church service (nativity was only up to year 2). A £1 donation for charity on the jumper day was the only financial cost though.
She's in Year 7 now and is finding secondary school Christmas so disappointing! They only do Christmas dinner, a Christmas music showcase and Christmas jumper day. She misses all the excitement of primary school.

We don't have as much stuff but I agree OP that sounds overwhelming. I hate that there is also a Christmas version of every activity, a party and Santa and treats. It's about 3 extra parties a week. It's all very well saying dont go but if DC want to go its not fair to keep them back.

I remember one year we had booked a really nice Santa event and by the time we got there DC had already met him 5 times and no longer cared, I felt a bit robbed as a parent.

@LostittoBostik I feel your pain. I have began to absolutely hate this time of year and everything associated with it. It's Santa's last year in my house and I am so relieved now. Only 1 more year of primary school.

Speak for your own school. My poor Year 1s are on regular timetable until Friday! We’ve had Christmas jumper day and Christmas dinner but as part of the normal day.

It's the same at our school. A whole two weeks of Christmas festivities! The parents hate it, it's way too much.

So far from the truth

Most of the curriculum carries on to the bitter end. The only real break is the hours spent rehearsing the Xmas show which takes up hours thatcould be spent doing something more fun, interesting, useful or educational. But if you don't do a nativity, the world falls apart. Apparently.

I don’t have kids yet but I am dreading this. I used to be a teacher in a special school and we used to do

• A whole month of Xmas baking to go home in a festive box at the end of term
• Ditto at least 3 craft items
• 3x performances of the school show alongside multiple rehearsals out of normal schedule in the week or two before
• A panto trip
• A whole school party
• class party
• Christmas dinner
• a visit from Santa

It was awful for the staff and completely inappropriate for the needs of many of the children we supported. I would love a school to stand up and say no to this competitive nonsense and just stick to a carol service and a Xmas lunch.

Mine school is the same and I have 1 child with adhd who any change in routine sends haywire aswell .I also have another 2 in the same school .last week all three had to bee in christmas jumpers all week I had to go and buy more because you obviously can't have them in the same one all week .I was left thinking what a waste because at the rate my kids grow these won't even fit next year.

I’m fed up of it OP. My DS5 had two events yesterday, panto then a Christmas party. School sent round a timetable of events. It’s too much.

Yes it does feel too much doesn’t it? I’m struggling to keep track of who needs to be where on what day with relevant Christmas outfit/costume etc. my oldest DC is is ND and the change of routine, excitement and stresses are all taking their toll a bit.
For next year, Vinted is your friend here. In Jan when people are selling off Christmas clothes buy things for next year if this is what it’s going to be like! Also nothing wrong with wearing the same thing several times. My DC was miffed to have to wear the same Christmas jumper three times but I’m not buying another one alongside the Christmas outfit plus T-shirt etc.

Less so in terms of the money, but my niece's school has been all about Christmas since December 1st. She's been buzzing since then, literally bouncing off the walls. She's so excited that she's barely sleeping (totally normal because she's that excited, but it's going on for so long), and she's now poorly. It's far too much. It puts so much pressure on everyone to make it this exciting season rather than just a nice time.

That does sound too much OP. I've been retired for 10 years but it was nothing like that bad when I was a Reception teacher.

I always kept actual learning activities going until the very end too but geared them towards Christmas. That was aimed at whoever said they don't learn anything at all in December.

Agree! I love Christmas but the multitude of events has been too much. My son had two things yesterday and another today. There’s no consistency. Hes not changed his reading books for 3 weeks now. He’s ok with it, other than making him excited, I imagine it’s unsettling for children who need the routine.

It's hard though as you can't please everyone - I say this as a teacher and a parent of kids 9 and 4 in two different schools. So we are working off 3 different sets of arrangements and I agree it is totally crazy. From a teacher's point of view I much prefer sticking to timetable for as long as possible for the exact reasons people outline - it is too much for kids (and teachers) to cope with. But you wouldn't believe what people complain about! No Christmas dinner would be an outrage, no Christmas party/disco/nativity - where's the christmas spirit!? Nativity out of working hours ie 7pm - that's far too late for my 5 year old, meanwhile someone else is saying that maybe there should be two or three days of nativity performances to accommodate tickets for grandparents/extended family, "my child is upset because their older sibling has had Xmas jumper day at their school, why aren't you doing one?"

It does get totally out of hand, I agree. But finding alternatives that suit everyone seems impossible.

We’ve crossed posts but my son hasn’t had his reading books changed for 3 weeks so nobody has read at school with him. He’s also not had any spellings set for the second week running now.

OK. That's bad but I'm not his teacher. It didn't happen in my class.

I used to feel like this, now one in secondary and one in year 4 and apart from the Christmas fair and Christmas jumper / dinner day there is nothing, I quite miss it all.

I said yabu because none of that is compulsory. My dc school does all of that stuff but we pick and choose what we do. This year we did the xmas jumper day and the craft afternoon after school. The rest of it? Nah.

Your dc is going to have to learn that mummy can't do everything and that's ok.

I presume it’s because they’ve already covered what they need to this term? Rather than a lack of care for their learning. I’m not speaking against his teacher as I like him. I guess it’s the schools approach to Christmas.

Mine don’t wear festive clothes and they are quite happy. Our school says Xmas jumpers allowed the whole of December so plenty days when some kids don’t have one on.
I’d happily remove mine for the whole of December they don’t learn much except how to bug me for an elf, Santa letters and other nonsense.

Primark have long sleeved Festive tshirts in for.under £2. Might not have time to sort it for this year, but next year stock up on a few for the school event days.

Tbh we just can't attend all the stuff our kids do. We make sure there's always me/or dh/ or granny in the audience for nativities. We don't go to any of the "crafternoons" or other various things because we have to work.

Thankfully, our school does festive clothes / Christmas Dinner/ santa visit all on one day.

Yup. My 6 year old had a meltdown worthy of a 2 year old last night.

We're having a very quiet weekend this weekend - no Christmas activities at all, one trip out to see friends. Early nights and lots of time outdoors. I need it as much as he does!

Interesting to see this post As a staff we sat down last January and reviewed Christmas on the basis of the needs of all children in the school as well as parents and the staff who were close to burn out last year . So we decided to trial doing Christmas differently this year.
We cut all dress up days and costumes except for last day when they can wear their own clothes.
We had a whole school carol concert now which took all stress of individual teachers and pupils and it was absolutely beautiful.(It's a small school)
Activities are simple such as hot chocolate in class and guess the candy cane in the jar .
All classes are continuing to work until this Thursday, emphasis on P.E, Art with lots of nice lessons but still lessons.

It's working amazing so far. We are not at the end yet but there has been a drastic reduction in children struggling with behaviors and personally I feel a lot less stressed.
We will review again this January.

That does sound at the extreme end. DD’s school has done Christmas dinner day (free as she’s Y1), Christmas jumper day (worn on top of uniform, voluntary £1 donation), nativity (free), Christmas fair slightly joylessly straight after school so kids with clubs or childminders etc couldn’t attend and everyone was in uniform. Got financially rinsed for that in donations and purchases but we did win zoo tickets in the raffle so broke even.

They do some no-parental-involvement-required stuff like a tree decorating day for the foyer (huge and loads of trees!), but I didn’t have to remember anything for it. What throws me is less the school stuff to remember – they send an email, I put it in the Google calendar and paper family calendar in DD’s column, it’s not rocket salad even with other kids with other dates – it’s the infernal class WhatsApp kicking off with its lack of reading comprehension and misinformation.

We had a mum this week suggest we all as a class share a Google calendar as well as having the WhatsApp “so no DC misses out”. Fuck no.

I actually love it - I get so excited for him going in to school at this time of year. I think it’s because my primary didn’t do half as much when I was growing up. He’s had a school trip to panto, nativity play, Christmas jumper day, gift shop visit and Santa. This week is pretty full on with 2 discos and the end of term dinner. He’s loving life right now.