What are your parenting hot takes?

[LimeAnt]

No arguments, please, just genuine interest.

Mine? You are not, and you shouldn't want to be, your child's best friend.

Attachment theory is a really important psychological concept that all new parents should understand.

Unfortunately Attachment parenting became associated with baby wearing, co sleeping and breastfeeding in most people's minds but it isn't really about that stuff at all.

Abso-bloody-lutely !!!

Many "sleep problems" in school aged kids are caused by parents simply putting them to bed early and them not being tired enough to sleep! Someone I know still insists that her 9 year old goes to bed at 7.30pm then wonders why he's awake at 5am.

Kids don't need endless rounds of extra curricular activities, packed weekends of expensive trips out and holidays every 6 weeks. They need a balance of time playing at home, doing a bit of homework, spending time with friends and family, a couple of extra curriculars that they genuinely want to do and the odd trip out. All this constant activity and stimulation is too much for a lot of kids and gives them unrealistic expectations of life as an adult. They need downtime too.

Many kids are given too much responsibility at an early age and it's borderline neglect.

Kids should not be given screens at an early age then expected to self regulate when many adults are unable to.

Be firm but fair.

Be consistent - always follow through with what you say you are going to do.

Make sure they know they are loved.

Teach your child how to be kind and think of others from when they are tiny.
Don't wait for school for them to learn how to share/ take turns / not to hit etc etc.
If they see you helping others and showing compassion to those in your community, they well mirror that.

Kids learn more from learned behaviours than to do as they are told - use manners with your kids, they will use them.

Defend your child when needed, but don't be afraid to acknowledge when they are in the wrong and make them own up and take responsibility for it - from being tiny.

Gentle parenting is shit parenting.

Children are their own people with their own likes and ambitions, they are not there for you to live vicariously though because you failed at your own dreams, nor are they billboards to show off how much you love your favourite TV show

They need a calm and peaceful home environment to retreat to from the busy outside world. A home that is not hectic or ridgid but predictable and certain.

Routines are only useful if they suit you. For me, they would have been hellish, and my kids were fine with extreme flexibility.

Sleeping with our kids was the best thing I did.

Don't give them phones or screens of any kind until they are much older than I dare to write on here.

Don't punish or reward.

Praise should always be specific and sincere.

Allow kids to save face.

Don't allow their schooling to interfere with their education.

Don't lie to them.

Don't talk down.

Praise effort, not attainment.
Wish I had learned that with my first child, rather than my third!

I disagree with about half of these. Why would you never reward your child? So sad

Different kids need different parenting. Wish I'd learned that too much earlier!

Parenting doesn't make life better - it makes it harder - and you should only do it if you're 101% sure

So it's technically possible, they just don't want to do it 😂
Ours doesn't offer, but when asked they have no issue with doing it. My DH does 3 out of 5 drop offs so needed access to get those lovely last minute messages schools love to send

Children aren’t and shouldn’t be their parent’s “life”.

Children shouldn't have any screen time before the age of 2, and no handheld device screen time until the age of 5. They shouldn't own their own device (phone, tablet, iPad) until they're 14.

No matter how much you love your dc and how incredibly precious they are, every parent (bar the fucked up few) feels the same about their dc. Yours do not deserve special privileges because you think they are the best and most deserving person ever. They are special to you, society will not always agree.

This isn't a take because it's not something that I think applies to other parents, but I'm surprised so few people do it... Instead of feeding to sleep, do a routine of wake up, feed, interact, sleep with a baby, right from newborn. You and your baby get to spend awake time together when they're alert, fed and happy, and they learn to fall asleep without an aid from the start.

Not all kids are autistic/ADHD/ASD

A lot of it is actual parenting

Setting boundaries, saying no, and yes, getting off the sofa and taking little Quentin to the park to burn off his energy once in a while

Also, take the time to correct their speech

No matter how many times you have to do it

Kids need boredom, it's good for them. Don't entertain them too much. If they say they're bored, let them find something to do.

Lots of parents work long hours and justify that by making weekends a neverending circus of expensive classes and outings when some good solid boredom watching dust motes settle at home would do kids more good.

No phone until 14?! Are yours not allowed out of the house?

Children don’t really change your life, depends if you’re doing your life right before!!

Children just doing what they want ... addicted to screens, in nappies at school age, not sleeping in their own bed, eating what they want

I grew up with a mother who regularly told me she was my mum not my friend, and that she would always love me but sometimes didn't like me, and that shattered my self esteem.
So I guess my hot take is actually do be your kids' friend.
I've brought my own daughter up to know that I LIKE her, I enjoy her company, and yes, we are friends as well as mother and daughter.

I think your first point was the only thing that’s true here. The rest doesn’t seem to fit?

‘Do things that are only useful if they suit you’.

I thinks that sums it up. There are a lot of things you say here that would not suit my children.