What are your parenting hot takes?

[LimeAnt]

No arguments, please, just genuine interest.

Mine? You are not, and you shouldn't want to be, your child's best friend.

I would love to hear more about this

Your child is not you, don't try to mould them into a 'mini me'.

Imagine your child's name on an adult before you give it to them. So many 'cutesy' boys names which will sound absolutely ridiculous on a teenager and a grown man. A child is not an accessory to sound 'cool'

You don’t have to like yours kids all the time.

Most parents have a favourite.

The people who say things like "enjoy every minute" and "making memories" are the ones secretly smacking their kids behind closed doors.

It's normal to find it hard and sometimes utterly miserable.

Pick your battles.

Look after yourself.

Raising kids is hard work but so rewarding.

Wholeheartedly agree with you about being friends with your child, if anyone says it to me I assume their child is bad behaved and spoilt. Speaking from experience that the girls who bullied my daughter at primary school had parents who claimed to be best friends with their kids. Their kids wrote disgusting things on WhatsApp about them. One that springs to mind was a girl whose mum did everything calling her a fat pig on their class chat. I screen my daughters messages and was shocked by the level of hatred they for their mums.
my hot take is - Your marriage/partnership breaking down will be horrible for your children, pretending that everything is fine is disingenuous and dishonest, it’s fine for them to be sad and you shouldn’t pretend to be friends as it’s confusing as hell for them and gives them false hope.

You can have a perfectly well rounded, happy, well rested, child without following a schedule.

NCT Groups/ante-natal groups, baby books/magazines/podcasts or 'methods' are bullshit and should be avoided.

100% this!!

Also, you do not need to know where your teenage children are every minute of the day. Let them go out, have adventures and be kids.

Is it really normal to be utterly miserable? I don't think it is. Also I don't think people are smacking their kids because they say 'enjoy' the years with them. That's a very strange assumption.

At least half of small babies that “just need to be constantly entertained!” are actually overstimulated as fuck and need you to stop singing in their face for 5 minutes

There is no non-abusive parenting choice you can make that is as harmful to your kids as obsessing over every parenting choice is.

The school system whilst primarily is for education fulfils the definition of childcare. Most parents need to work in order to live and provide for their children, so it is disingenuous to suggest that school isn't childcare.

Staggered starts are ridiculous and no, parents shouldn't be expected to suck them up if they quite literally can't. Most children are in full time pre school and so the staggered starts aren't necessary. If you want a society in which school isn't seen as childcare then we need to allow one parent to stay at home or ensure all employers are flexible by default.

Definitely 😁

Routine. Start day one. It will sink in eventually and make life so much easier.
Recommendations (baby in with you first six months, breastfeed for six months etc) are just recommendations, not law. Do what you think is right.
Trust your instincts. If something feels not right with your baby insist on further investigation. Do not let the GP/nurse think you are just a hysterical mum - better be safe than sorry.
Do not talk about them when they are present as if they don't understand. They do much more than you think.
Be present with your children (put your phone down).
Listen listen listen. Your teenage is trying to tell you something.
Your children are separate people to you. They have different tastes, interests and desires. They may want to become an artist, writer or marine biologist. Do not tell them they need to go to uni, that they must follow this path or that.
And again: listen.

Drop your standards across the board.
Women who are mothers cannot do it all and you will kill yourself trying. Accept good enough is good enough and out source as much as you can including to the other parent.

Avoid the class WhatsApp at all costs.

Get DH to register for the 73 school related apps (Parent pay, seesaw, Bug Club, the maths robot one that I can never remember the password for and Teachers2Parents messages) because they all only accept one parent number and if it’s yours, you’re on school duty for the next 7 years. I’m feeling bitter as I had 5 messages in one day last week and it was driving me bonkers!

Your kids need to feel loved and safe. It's OK to drop a few balls as long as those 2 things are true every day.

A lot of your child’s bad behaviour is learned from you.

There really is no need to obsess over routines. Your child is perfectly capable of making their needs known whether that's hunger, boredom, or tiredness. You can be happy, healthy, and well (enough) rested without counting wake windows and forcing your child to go to bed at a certain time.

Breastmilk has many benefits and we should be able to discuss and advocate for it freely. Women should be better supported to breastfeed.

Pick your battles.
kids are allowed to have emotions and bad days to.
It's OK to say no.
It's important to teach your kids lifeskills.
Don't give them an out to stay in their comfort zone they need to do the things their nervous and scared of to build confidence and resilience

The only rules you need are ones that keep them safe and well, and prevent them causing hurt, harm or upset to others. You should be prepared to justify every rule you make on one of those grounds.

They actually don't only accept 1 number, just have to ask school to add another.
DH and I both have seesaw, classlist, dojo, the maths app that I can't remember the name of etc

Put your children first, enjoy them & let them know that life does not always go your way. Teach them to contribute to society e.g working/earning/help others.

I asked the school to add him, they said no. 1 parent per household only unless split parent families. This school are a law unto themselves 😭

Sometimes you have to put your feelings aside, compartmentalise a bit and just crack on with things. It’s sad but true.