Page 13 | Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

Jaffaroo · 2024-12-15T22:31:35+00:00

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this. Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond. This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old. I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it. AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 16/12/2024 01:43

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:33

I’m not bitter 😂 I advocate breastfeeding and done it for a year. Most people I know didn’t do it for that long! I was happy to breastfeed in public and didn’t given a shit what anyone thought when my was baby was feeding.

Once they started walking and could eat solids there was no need for me to continue nutritionally as it was more for comfort than anything else. I didn’t feel as comfortable doing it in public.

I don’t care whether someone breastfeeds their child until they’re 4/5 whatever but yes I find it strange.

If you’re confident doing it and don’t care about people judging and you think their ‘opinions’ are ‘wrong’, why are you so bothered about what randoms on the Internet think? You do you if you’re happy. If your cut off 5 then why do you care if most people would think that’s too old….

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Ah listen, I'm done with your strawman arguments.

Go to bed.

Golaz · 16/12/2024 01:45

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:33

I’m not bitter 😂 I advocate breastfeeding and done it for a year. Most people I know didn’t do it for that long! I was happy to breastfeed in public and didn’t given a shit what anyone thought when my was baby was feeding.

Once they started walking and could eat solids there was no need for me to continue nutritionally as it was more for comfort than anything else. I didn’t feel as comfortable doing it in public.

I don’t care whether someone breastfeeds their child until they’re 4/5 whatever but yes I find it strange.

If you’re confident doing it and don’t care about people judging and you think their ‘opinions’ are ‘wrong’, why are you so bothered about what randoms on the Internet think? You do you if you’re happy. If your cut off 5 then why do you care if most people would think that’s too old….

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People care because you keep telling us we are doing it for ourselves because we have “attachment” issues.

The fact that my middle child won’t stop bf’ing has been incredibly difficult for me. It made me really sick when I was pregnant with DC3, as well as being exceptionally painful. It’s been incredibly hard and exhausting to tandem feed 2 of them, especially at night when I’m desperate to sleep. I’ve tried so many strategies to wean her, it’s been incredibly tough.

and then for you to come along and say I’m choosing this , to fulfil some attachment desire of my own. When I try to explain - you glibly respond that is my fault because I’m “actively encouraging it”, followed up with “hey but if you’re happy to keep going- you do you!” Can you see not see how utterly rage-inducing that is?

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 16/12/2024 01:47

Golaz · 16/12/2024 01:45

People care because you keep telling us we are doing it for ourselves because we have “attachment” issues.

The fact that my middle child won’t stop bf’ing has been incredibly difficult for me. It made me really sick when I was pregnant with DC3, as well as being exceptionally painful. It’s been incredibly hard and exhausting to tandem feed 2 of them, especially at night when I’m desperate to sleep. I’ve tried so many strategies to wean her, it’s been incredibly tough.

and then for you to come along and say I’m choosing this , to fulfil some attachment desire of my own. When I try to explain - you glibly respond that is my fault because I’m “actively encouraging it”, followed up with “hey but if you’re happy to keep going- you do you!” Can you see not see how utterly rage-inducing that is?

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I am struggling to understand how someone who claims to have breastfed for a year is so condemnatory of others who have fed for longer, unless said person has issues over stopping?

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:51

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 16/12/2024 01:18

God you're argumentative!

I've only skimmed your many posts and if you really did bf for a year I don't get why you are so lacking in understanding?

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Well you say im argumentative but then say I should go to spec savers etc so that’s rude for a start so you can’t expect me to be completely civil.

I didn’t create this thread, I wouldn’t create such a thread because I know how decisive this can be. I simply commented on it with my opinion but some people weren’t suited and have spent the last three arguing why my opinion is ‘wrong’

Again, I breastfed and it was wonderful and I do advocate it but I think there is a point where it’s not beneficial nutritionally and that’s it.

Golaz · 16/12/2024 01:52

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:51

Well you say im argumentative but then say I should go to spec savers etc so that’s rude for a start so you can’t expect me to be completely civil.

I didn’t create this thread, I wouldn’t create such a thread because I know how decisive this can be. I simply commented on it with my opinion but some people weren’t suited and have spent the last three arguing why my opinion is ‘wrong’

Again, I breastfed and it was wonderful and I do advocate it but I think there is a point where it’s not beneficial nutritionally and that’s it.

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Again, I breastfed and it was wonderful and I do advocate it but I think there is a point where it’s not beneficial nutritionally and that’s it.

Do you understand that breastfeeding isn’t just about nutrition ?

HP07 · 16/12/2024 01:52

People are strange and lots who have never breastfed themselves seem to have a lot of opinions on how long you should breastfeed for and where you should breastfeed.
Personally I breastfed my first baby til 18 months and my second to 2.5 years old. Neither remember being breastfed but it really created such lovely memories for me and such a strong bond. I really think especially in my second child, that I breastfed the longest, she is incredibly loving and affectionate towards me and I think that stemmed from that close relationship and feeding her as long as I did.
Feed your baby as you see fit. The only person you really need to fully educate is your husband as you don’t want to be having battles in your own home. Ignore the rest of the people (very hard but can be done). Enjoy it as it only lasts so long.

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:54

HomeAgainPlease · 16/12/2024 01:19

But not strange to drink cows milk?

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They don’t have to drink cows milk. A
healthy balanced diet and there are several alternatives to cows milk these days…

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:56

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 16/12/2024 01:33

Think of all those things you do for comfort. Open a bottle of wine on a Friday night. Hot chocolate. Hug your dad. Hold hands with a loved one. Watch a comforting tv programme. Listen to soothing music. Listen to pounding music on the treadmill. Whatever your version of comfort is, you can’t do it. Just stop. Find something else. Don’t care what it is, but you can’t do those things any more.

Does that make any sense at all? No? Thought not!

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So would you breastfeed a 4 year old im a cafe for their comfort?

If not then why not?

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:57

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 16/12/2024 01:43

Ah listen, I'm done with your strawman arguments.

Go to bed.

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Right you are captain 🧑‍✈️

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 16/12/2024 02:00

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:56

So would you breastfeed a 4 year old im a cafe for their comfort?

If not then why not?

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I fed a five year old in a cafe. Many times.

Well not many times. A few times.

I was quite cash strapped in those days, more so than now.

YIP · 16/12/2024 02:03

Golaz · 16/12/2024 01:45

People care because you keep telling us we are doing it for ourselves because we have “attachment” issues.

The fact that my middle child won’t stop bf’ing has been incredibly difficult for me. It made me really sick when I was pregnant with DC3, as well as being exceptionally painful. It’s been incredibly hard and exhausting to tandem feed 2 of them, especially at night when I’m desperate to sleep. I’ve tried so many strategies to wean her, it’s been incredibly tough.

and then for you to come along and say I’m choosing this , to fulfil some attachment desire of my own. When I try to explain - you glibly respond that is my fault because I’m “actively encouraging it”, followed up with “hey but if you’re happy to keep going- you do you!” Can you see not see how utterly rage-inducing that is?

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I didn’t write that post though did I? I agreed with it and think there’s truth in for some people but not all.

Im not saying it’s easy to stop and to be fair to you, you do seem to be having a very difficult time of it and that’s obviously awful and I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.

It’s too late to go in to the ins and outs of it now but is there no help
or support for you to get LO to settle in another way? I don’t envy you, it sounds horrendous.

theescapeladder · 16/12/2024 02:10

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marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 16/12/2024 02:13

It's nobody else's business how long you breastfeed. It's a peculiar obsession in the west. I would just ignore other people's comments and carry on as you are. You know what you are doing. .

Golaz · 16/12/2024 02:14

YIP · 16/12/2024 02:03

I didn’t write that post though did I? I agreed with it and think there’s truth in for some people but not all.

Im not saying it’s easy to stop and to be fair to you, you do seem to be having a very difficult time of it and that’s obviously awful and I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.

It’s too late to go in to the ins and outs of it now but is there no help
or support for you to get LO to settle in another way? I don’t envy you, it sounds horrendous.

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Thank you for that.

YIP · 16/12/2024 02:22

Golaz · 16/12/2024 02:14

Thank you for that.

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You’re welcome - I’m sorry if I upset you, that wasn’t my intention. I realise you’re going through it right now, right in the nitty gritty and it’s hard. I don’t want to make it worse.

Golaz · 16/12/2024 02:29

YIP · 16/12/2024 02:22

You’re welcome - I’m sorry if I upset you, that wasn’t my intention. I realise you’re going through it right now, right in the nitty gritty and it’s hard. I don’t want to make it worse.

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❤️ That’s really kind. This has reminded me that these internet conversations get really unnecessarily out of hand sometimes 🙈 and it’s so easy to take one thing someone says and run with it without actually stopping to think what they actually meant . Sorry for getting so wound up 😅.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/12/2024 02:30

YIP · 15/12/2024 22:48

Toddlers don’t need breast milk as they get all the nutrients from the food they eat. I would say breastfeeding for the first year is fine and possibly a bit longer, but I think more often than not, it’s the mother that doesn’t want it to end for emotional reasons in the guise of ‘breast is best’, aye but there becomes a point when that’s moot.

My 16 yo dd is being treated as if she has PDA. There is no way on earth I could have forced her to do something if I tried. Unless you’ve not fed a child past age one then you don’t know this. I fed her until she was 2 1/2, when I cajoled her to stop as she was hurting me by not feeding for 4/5 days then constantly wanting to be fed the next day.

YIP · 16/12/2024 02:41

@Golaz

That’s so true.

I’m going to sleep now as I’ll be dying off tomorrow when I’m on the school run 😭😂

Good night 😴

mrssunshinexxx · 16/12/2024 03:48

They are all utter morons , including your husband.

Sometimeswinning · 16/12/2024 06:54

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 15/12/2024 23:33

So you preferred to give up breastfeeding to gently teaching your child that it wasn't acceptable?

Duh again.

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No. Where did I put I’d given up breastfeeding because of biting?

EmmaEmEmz · 16/12/2024 07:07

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:43

Enlighten me?

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Because my post was about it being for comfort and then you pointed out ot being for comfort...

EmmaEmEmz · 16/12/2024 07:08

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:56

So would you breastfeed a 4 year old im a cafe for their comfort?

If not then why not?

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I would breastfeed a child that age in a cafe for comfort. I have bf my 5 year old in public for comfort.

Her comfort is my priority not anyone else's idea of what is too old

HomeAgainPlease · 16/12/2024 07:39

YIP · 16/12/2024 01:20

I would say most people would find 2 year olds breast feeding in public odd.

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Have you done a survey? 😂 I would say most people think it’s perfect normal and wouldn’t care how someone else feeds their child!

HomeAgainPlease · 16/12/2024 07:55

MinSpy · 16/12/2024 00:40

They may be there for breastfeeding infants, but they are not there to breastfeed teenagers or adults. So at some point between infant and teenager a line is drawn. A teenager sucking his/her mother's breasts is abuse. An infant sucking his/her mother's breasts is normal. The point at which normal crosses over into inappropriate and then into abuse is debatable. However, it's clear that the mother's own desires and attitudes will influence the age at which their child continues to breastfeed.

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Like the desire to follow WHO advice you mean?

Lufannian · 16/12/2024 07:57

Wouldnt bat an eye at a 2/3 year old breastfeeding.

5+ though…I mean standing there in their school uniform breastfeeding in a cafe? 😂 come on…