Page 35 | Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

caninechristmasconundrum · 2024-12-15T10:27:43+00:00

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away. Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ??? After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’ DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage) Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 19/12/2024 07:38

I would never assume I could take ddog with me to someone else's house however if it was a definite no on Christmas Day I would stay home rather than leave him.

Op yanbu and I hope you have a lovely Christmas.

Conkers2 · 19/12/2024 07:51

As an aside we prefer to use kennels but it's a right pain in the arse to organise at times

Our normal kennel doesn't allow pick ups/drop offs on Christmas day or boxing day (and sometimes Christmas eve)

So I wouldn't but them in there for just Christmas day as they would end up away for several nights (at considerable cost!)

Most kennels also have really fixed pick up/drop off times regardless of the season. Most kennels don't allow dogs in for one day only and have a minimum spend (ours is close to £100). If we were going out for the day they have to go over night (sometimes two nights) because
We can't drop them off before nine, and can't pick them up after 1pm.

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 07:55

Depending on timings I do think YABU I'm afraid. Christmas Day is a long day for dogs to be left alone. Up to 4 hours would be ok, but with travel time it's likely to be longer than that even if just coming for Xmas lunch.

We are hosting and there will be 5 dogs here, 2 large, 1 medium and 2 small. It's not ideal, but they're part of the family.

standononefoot · 19/12/2024 08:02

Good on your DH.

Entitled twats expecting to bring three dogs!

K0OLA1D · 19/12/2024 08:27

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 07:55

Depending on timings I do think YABU I'm afraid. Christmas Day is a long day for dogs to be left alone. Up to 4 hours would be ok, but with travel time it's likely to be longer than that even if just coming for Xmas lunch.

We are hosting and there will be 5 dogs here, 2 large, 1 medium and 2 small. It's not ideal, but they're part of the family.

If the op doesn't want dogs in her house she is not being unreasonable ffs.

If the dog is invited, fab. If not, stop at home. Which is exactly what we do.

Cardboardeaux · 19/12/2024 09:05

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 07:55

Depending on timings I do think YABU I'm afraid. Christmas Day is a long day for dogs to be left alone. Up to 4 hours would be ok, but with travel time it's likely to be longer than that even if just coming for Xmas lunch.

We are hosting and there will be 5 dogs here, 2 large, 1 medium and 2 small. It's not ideal, but they're part of the family.

Dogs don't know it's xmas, ffs. It's the same length day as any other (and yes, it's a long time to leave them, but the solution is for the guests not to come if they're not able/willing to arrange alternative arrangements). Some people view their dogs as part of the family, and that's fine for them, but they are not entitled to require OTHERS to view the dog as part of the family and to apply emotional blackmail (which is what OP's in laws are doing) to get their way. If someone doesn't want a dog in their house, that's the end of the matter.

GetDressedYouMerryGentlemen · 19/12/2024 09:28

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 07:55

Depending on timings I do think YABU I'm afraid. Christmas Day is a long day for dogs to be left alone. Up to 4 hours would be ok, but with travel time it's likely to be longer than that even if just coming for Xmas lunch.

We are hosting and there will be 5 dogs here, 2 large, 1 medium and 2 small. It's not ideal, but they're part of the family.

The OP is not being unreasonable - she is (well was as her DH has now cancelled) inviting people not kidnapping them. If they won't/can't/ haven't made arrangements for their dogs that isn't unreasonableness on the OP behalf. The onus is on dog owners to make arrangements or reply that they can only attend for X hours before having to leave tend to the dog or to decline the invite or at the very least to ask if they can bring their dog. The vast majority of dog owners on this thread have agreed that that is exactly what they would do, even many of those that will be taking dogs/ hosting with dogs attending agree that it isn't something you can just assume and rock up with a dog.

TwistedWonder · 19/12/2024 09:46

Deleted wrong thread

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/12/2024 10:52

Conkers2 · 19/12/2024 07:51

As an aside we prefer to use kennels but it's a right pain in the arse to organise at times

Our normal kennel doesn't allow pick ups/drop offs on Christmas day or boxing day (and sometimes Christmas eve)

So I wouldn't but them in there for just Christmas day as they would end up away for several nights (at considerable cost!)

Most kennels also have really fixed pick up/drop off times regardless of the season. Most kennels don't allow dogs in for one day only and have a minimum spend (ours is close to £100). If we were going out for the day they have to go over night (sometimes two nights) because
We can't drop them off before nine, and can't pick them up after 1pm.

@Conkers2

stay at home then?

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/12/2024 10:53

Cardboardeaux · 19/12/2024 09:05

Dogs don't know it's xmas, ffs. It's the same length day as any other (and yes, it's a long time to leave them, but the solution is for the guests not to come if they're not able/willing to arrange alternative arrangements). Some people view their dogs as part of the family, and that's fine for them, but they are not entitled to require OTHERS to view the dog as part of the family and to apply emotional blackmail (which is what OP's in laws are doing) to get their way. If someone doesn't want a dog in their house, that's the end of the matter.

Show quote history

@etonmessedup

ever heard of kennels??

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 10:56

I said "I think", you don't have to agree with me, but that is my opinion and you can't be wrong about your own opinion 🙃

TwistedWonder · 19/12/2024 10:56

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 07:55

Depending on timings I do think YABU I'm afraid. Christmas Day is a long day for dogs to be left alone. Up to 4 hours would be ok, but with travel time it's likely to be longer than that even if just coming for Xmas lunch.

We are hosting and there will be 5 dogs here, 2 large, 1 medium and 2 small. It's not ideal, but they're part of the family.

It’s her home and she is NBU to have a no pets rule. I don’t have animals in my house but thankfully I don’t know anyone who thinks it’s normal to turn up with a pet in tow and expect me to accommodate.

If I invite friends and family, it’s an invite to humans and that should be respected.

phoenixrosehere · 19/12/2024 11:05

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 07:55

Depending on timings I do think YABU I'm afraid. Christmas Day is a long day for dogs to be left alone. Up to 4 hours would be ok, but with travel time it's likely to be longer than that even if just coming for Xmas lunch.

We are hosting and there will be 5 dogs here, 2 large, 1 medium and 2 small. It's not ideal, but they're part of the family.

That’s your choice though.

OP’s in-laws didn’t have dogs last Christmas nor is OP a dog owner herself so didn’t plan for them. They didn’t ask and make sure which is the responsibility of the dog owner not the host, even more so if they haven’t been bringing the dogs over previously or knew they weren’t allowed. They had enough time to make arrangements. They could easily go to the store today and pick something up for their Christmas meal.

They chose to have dogs and part of that is making sure their dogs are allowed/invited before going to someone else’s home.

dynamiccactus · 19/12/2024 14:21

etonmessedup · 19/12/2024 07:55

Depending on timings I do think YABU I'm afraid. Christmas Day is a long day for dogs to be left alone. Up to 4 hours would be ok, but with travel time it's likely to be longer than that even if just coming for Xmas lunch.

We are hosting and there will be 5 dogs here, 2 large, 1 medium and 2 small. It's not ideal, but they're part of the family.

FIVE! I hope you have a big house (and somewhere close for them to be walked which isn't your garden).

dynamiccactus · 19/12/2024 14:22

They chose to have dogs and part of that is making sure their dogs are allowed/invited before going to someone else’s home

Yes, your lifestyle choice isn't one you impose on others, you deal with any downsides yourself.

ConsternationStation · 19/12/2024 14:32

I would never think to NOT bring my dog to Christmas/family get togethers but that's only because my family and the in-laws are dog people like us. If there is a reason that they don't want us to bring the dog then they let us know and we leave her at home for a few hours. It's no big deal. We have a puppy this year so I wouldnt be happy to leave her at home but would just decline an invite.

Many see dogs as an extension of their family, myself included, so in your position I'd always make it clear if/when I didn't want others to bring their dogs. I don't think you are at all unreasonable to want the dogs to stay home albeit there might be reasons why someone wouldn't feel comfortable with that (long visit, young puppy etc) and possibly decline your invitation.

gmor6787 · 19/12/2024 15:09

I have everyone at Christmas and that includes their dogs. I wouldn’t put my dog in Kennels so wouldn’t expect them to. Brother and family come a long way so leaving pets at home isn’t viable. They all get on and
are well behaved. It all contributes to a happy time all round. We all love dogs so no problem.

phoenixrosehere · 19/12/2024 15:37

ConsternationStation · 19/12/2024 14:32

I would never think to NOT bring my dog to Christmas/family get togethers but that's only because my family and the in-laws are dog people like us. If there is a reason that they don't want us to bring the dog then they let us know and we leave her at home for a few hours. It's no big deal. We have a puppy this year so I wouldnt be happy to leave her at home but would just decline an invite.

Many see dogs as an extension of their family, myself included, so in your position I'd always make it clear if/when I didn't want others to bring their dogs. I don't think you are at all unreasonable to want the dogs to stay home albeit there might be reasons why someone wouldn't feel comfortable with that (long visit, young puppy etc) and possibly decline your invitation.

Edited

That’s the problem, isn’t it. Instead of declining like reasonable people, they’re trying to force OP and her husband to have their dogs in the home as if the dogs are entitled to be there over the discomfort of the hosts.

OonaStubbs · 19/12/2024 17:12

Who wants strange dogs in the house on Christmas day? Dog owners need to realise that it is THEY that are the weird ones, not the dog-free people .

Username2532 · 19/12/2024 17:36

OonaStubbs · 19/12/2024 17:12

Who wants strange dogs in the house on Christmas day? Dog owners need to realise that it is THEY that are the weird ones, not the dog-free people .

Wow! If you’d bothered to read op’s update, the matter has been resolved.F.Y.I it’s been made clear from the majority of dog owners, on this thread that this isn’t something they’d ever do and have supported op throughout.
So really baffled why you feel the need to call all dogs owners weird!! Using this thread just to insult.

Thursdaygirl · 19/12/2024 17:47

The OP is not being unreasonable - she is (well was as her DH has now cancelled) inviting people not kidnapping them.

Absolutely - if you get an invitation and you can’t get a babysitter/dog sitter/lift, then you decline the invitation, you don’t turn it round and make it the hosts problem. The OP isn’t forcing them to come round.

OonaStubbs · 19/12/2024 18:13

Username2532 · 19/12/2024 17:36

Wow! If you’d bothered to read op’s update, the matter has been resolved.F.Y.I it’s been made clear from the majority of dog owners, on this thread that this isn’t something they’d ever do and have supported op throughout.
So really baffled why you feel the need to call all dogs owners weird!! Using this thread just to insult.

Show quote history

I didn't mean dog owners are weird, but I do think dog owners who feel the need to take their dogs everywhere and expect everyone to put up with them are weird.

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/12/2024 19:06

OonaStubbs · 19/12/2024 17:12

Who wants strange dogs in the house on Christmas day? Dog owners need to realise that it is THEY that are the weird ones, not the dog-free people .

OP is now not having family, if you look at their update. The majority of us dog owners have said,we wouldn't take our dogs if not invited.

OonaStubbs · 19/12/2024 19:08

But the thing is, people shouldn't WANT to take their dogs to other peoples houses. It shouldn't even come up.

Username2532 · 19/12/2024 19:10

OonaStubbs · 19/12/2024 18:13

I didn't mean dog owners are weird, but I do think dog owners who feel the need to take their dogs everywhere and expect everyone to put up with them are weird.

Show quote history

Can you see on this thread though, there are a vast amount of people who have a dog, completely get, it’s their dog their responsibility, are respectful to how others feel.This particular situation, that op encountered, is a individual case, some of the comments have been really insulting, because these comments are just assuming everyone who is a dog owner, are just like op’s relatives.It’s has been just full of sweeping generalisations, not fact, repetitive and just another way for people to vent.Of course it’s perfectly reasonable to not want someone’s dog in your home, but it’s also reasonable, not to assume all dog owners are selfish, idiots and disrespectful to how other people feel.