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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what to do? Norovirus, newborn baby and c section

160 replies

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:10

Hi, Posted in here just as seems to get a lot of answers. just need some advice.

Basically cut long story short.

-Family member got sick with stomach bug on Saturday, last vomit/diarreah Sunday.

  • Other family members waited a few days to see them (going off 48h rule, which I've now read might not even be the case)
-family member resumed on Thursday and saw some other family members for tea -Saturday now and said family members now have D&V. Presumably from the original family member.

We've luckily not seen anyone this week for various reasons. But the problem is, we're due to have baby #2 via c section on Tuesday. Original family members and family members who have got it now were out childcare and backup childcare for our toddler ☹️ meaning I either let toddler go as planned Tuesday morning (if they stop vomiting tonight or tomorrow and are well enough) or I give birth on my own and have husband stay at home with toddler to prevent getting it.

Either situation seems shit. So upset 😭 but don't know what to do. What's worse? Having c section alone or us all possibly getting the bug/noro when bringing newborn home. Petrified baby will get it and be very ill as seems like something that could be very very harmful to a newborn?

read online and you can be contagious for 2 weeks after. No one was aware about this as 48h rule is what's widely knows so no one's fault. I'm just so upset.

If husband stays at home with toddler and I have section alone when will we then be able to see family realistically? 2 weeks? ☹️ Christmas and my birth feels ruined and no idea how I'll survive the first few weeks without my support system.

Didn't even want a bloody c section (medical reasons have forced it), petrified enough already without this now. Can't be postponed, but doesn't really matter I guess as a few days probs won't make the difference.

Anyway, what would you do if you were me?

OP posts:
Rifalo · 14/12/2024 21:14

You do not want noro just after a section. Best to leave him and DC at home and go it alone id say.

xmasdealhunter · 14/12/2024 21:14

Do you have any friends that could watch your toddler, so that your husband is able to be with you? That way you're not risking bringing D&V into the house. I didn't know about the 2 week factor so don't have any advice on that front, other than I'd probably be cautious and not send dc to a family member that had been in contact with the original family member

haje · 14/12/2024 21:16

Ah Op that's hard. And nearly me to the day, four years ago but 18 December.

We went back into lockdown on 20th December 2020 but hospital were gearing up for it and I had dd alone by section. DH stayed with toddler.

The thought and prep was tough, but actually it as really special. In the sense that it's probably the only time I got with baby alone, first baby gets all that time.

I stayed in for two nights, lots of video calls. And all was lovely. Bug sisters were happy when we returned. And then we had a lovely bubble. Because in fairness, Christmas is mad enough without. Tiny wee baby

It's not that bad, I just focused on those special times with baby and I still tell her about them now.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/12/2024 21:28

Definitely don’t risk Norovirus.

It’s a bit shit but you need to have DH look after your DC1.

He can’t actually do much for you whilst you’re having a CS anyway - yes I know he’s lovely moral support but practically he’s doing even less than during a vaginal birth - not even coaching etc.

Then when you get home, you just make sure the two of you work together as a team - so he is your support structure. Luckily I assume he has a fair bit of time off over Christmas?

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:35

Guess I'm having a c section on my own then ☹️ absolutely terrified, can't stop crying- what a mess... it's everywhere apparently so hopefully I don't catch it from hospital.. thanks everyone

OP posts:
TheThreeMiracles · 14/12/2024 21:37

I'm very emetophobic ( phobia of vomiting ) so I would go the section on my own having said that I've had 2 sections before and the after pain is really quite painful and you defo don't want to be heaving to be sick after I recon that would be so painful ( not trying to scare you ) have you got a friend who could look after your dc ?
You will be okay probably doesn't feel like it at the moment but you will be xx

OrangeSlices998 · 14/12/2024 21:39

Is your toddler in nursery? My friend had a good c section birth utilising nursery, they dropped toddler off to a friend to drop to nursery in the morning and then went to the hospital, had baby, and then dad picked toddler up in the evening.

Can a friend have your toddler? If it was one of my friends in your situation I’d happily help out!

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 14/12/2024 21:42

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:35

Guess I'm having a c section on my own then ☹️ absolutely terrified, can't stop crying- what a mess... it's everywhere apparently so hopefully I don't catch it from hospital.. thanks everyone

OP, I would look after a toddler for a passing acquaintance if it meant their dad could go to the c section with you. Are you sure you don't know anyone who can help out? I agree with PP that you need to do what you can to avoid noro.

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:43

@OrangeSlices998 yes but it's also going round nursery too ☹️ she's not been in for the past week! That was my first thought but not sure if it'd be any better as she'll probably still catch it! What awful timing- so upset!

OP posts:
TheThreeMiracles · 14/12/2024 21:43

Have you got a friend who could have dc for the day? Xx

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:44

And regarding a friend, sounds pathetic but I really don't have anyone at all ☹️what an awful situation. Have awful anxiety can't stop having panic attacks I am so, so frightened...

OP posts:
Destiny123 · 14/12/2024 21:45

Honestly as an obs anaesthetist although not ideal a lot of people have sections alone for childcare. We still make it a lovely experience, I often prefer not to have the dad there as can be a bit dramatic/ faint etc. We wl chat to you throughout we have speakers for your own music to play we can take you lots of pics etc

I'd not want anyone with noro in contact till at least the 48h symptom free. Its awful at the best of times but could be really risky if you end up puking loads with a new csection scar. Is there any nursery mates toddler could go with for half a day?

Dollshousedolly · 14/12/2024 21:45

Could the original family member who had the virus come and look after your DD in your home for a five ir six hours while you have your c-section. If they wear a mask and wash their hands regularly, it would minimise any risk.

TheThreeMiracles · 14/12/2024 21:46

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth take deep breaths!
Couldn't first family member who is over have dc ? xx

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 14/12/2024 21:46

OP, I am massively health anxious and my section was fine. No complications, very manageable recovery. I did better than most of my friends who had vaginal births, though I think our NCT group may just have been very unlucky!

ChristmasinBrighton · 14/12/2024 21:49

I wouldn’t risk it, new babies are so vulnerable and precious.

I think you will have to have baby without DH.

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:49

Thanks @Destiny123 that's reassured a little bit. I am just absolutely terrified, I didn't even want a section to begin with- I've been petrified for weeks and the thought of doing it without my husband is just making me cry. I just can't believe how unlucky I've been ☹️

Regarding the 48h rule, some family members will be free for 38h by the time Tuesday rolls round but still doesn't feel like enough time- am I being over cautious? ☹️

OP posts:
Destiny123 · 14/12/2024 21:49

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:35

Guess I'm having a c section on my own then ☹️ absolutely terrified, can't stop crying- what a mess... it's everywhere apparently so hopefully I don't catch it from hospital.. thanks everyone

If you're near Surrey I'd happily toddler sit (or booked at redhill or Kings happy to be a birthing partner - the midwifes take the mic out of how many pics I take for the photoshoots I do for parents during their sections

Overthebow · 14/12/2024 21:51

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:49

Thanks @Destiny123 that's reassured a little bit. I am just absolutely terrified, I didn't even want a section to begin with- I've been petrified for weeks and the thought of doing it without my husband is just making me cry. I just can't believe how unlucky I've been ☹️

Regarding the 48h rule, some family members will be free for 38h by the time Tuesday rolls round but still doesn't feel like enough time- am I being over cautious? ☹️

I don’t think you’re being over cautious, no. It’s so contagious and they won’t be clear of the 48 hours and even then it can still be contagious. You really don’t want to catch it after a c section and you don’t want your newborn to catch it. Giving birth without your DH is a horrible thought but loads do it alone and you will have the hospital staff to help you.

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:52

@CarterBeatsTheDevil thank you, I have horrific health anxiety too. This whole thing is just terrifying me! I've been petrified for weeks since I've found out I've had the have a c section. The only thing keeping me going was knowing my husband would be there with me ☹️ but thank you, regarding the c section this has put my mind at ease a bit x

OP posts:
rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:53

@Destiny123 ahh thank you that's so lovely, but no where near Surrey unfortunately! I know I'll be okay, my hospital is fantastic- just very very scared and teary at the thought of DH not seeing his baby born too. I guess worse things happen, just a bit sad 😔 x

OP posts:
LimeCookie · 14/12/2024 21:53

Could you pay someone who works at the nursery to do wrap around care for you? Drop them off at their house early in the morning, then they take your child home after work with them and your husband picks them up at an agreed time. They could then do the same the next day.
Or, do you have a child minder in the area who could do the wrap around care for you and drop off and pick up from nursery for you?

theres lots of companies out there too who provide one-off nanny professionals, they could be at your home for the day?

TheThreeMiracles · 14/12/2024 21:54

During the c section you feel any pain, all the doctors are always so kind and will talk to you through it all, knowing you don't have your husband with you they'll probably have extra support for you, the health of you and baby is so important xx

The other option could be that they look after toddler longer so toddler is free from nuro before they come home xx

Destiny123 · 14/12/2024 21:58

If chatting you through a section in more detail would help in advance feel free to message me I'm happy to answer any qs, but honestly it'll be fine, I love being allocated the elective list