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Original poster

To not know what to do? Norovirus, newborn baby and c section

160 replies

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:10

Hi, Posted in here just as seems to get a lot of answers. just need some advice.

Basically cut long story short.

-Family member got sick with stomach bug on Saturday, last vomit/diarreah Sunday.

  • Other family members waited a few days to see them (going off 48h rule, which I've now read might not even be the case)
-family member resumed on Thursday and saw some other family members for tea -Saturday now and said family members now have D&V. Presumably from the original family member.

We've luckily not seen anyone this week for various reasons. But the problem is, we're due to have baby #2 via c section on Tuesday. Original family members and family members who have got it now were out childcare and backup childcare for our toddler ☹️ meaning I either let toddler go as planned Tuesday morning (if they stop vomiting tonight or tomorrow and are well enough) or I give birth on my own and have husband stay at home with toddler to prevent getting it.

Either situation seems shit. So upset 😭 but don't know what to do. What's worse? Having c section alone or us all possibly getting the bug/noro when bringing newborn home. Petrified baby will get it and be very ill as seems like something that could be very very harmful to a newborn?

read online and you can be contagious for 2 weeks after. No one was aware about this as 48h rule is what's widely knows so no one's fault. I'm just so upset.

If husband stays at home with toddler and I have section alone when will we then be able to see family realistically? 2 weeks? ☹️ Christmas and my birth feels ruined and no idea how I'll survive the first few weeks without my support system.

Didn't even want a bloody c section (medical reasons have forced it), petrified enough already without this now. Can't be postponed, but doesn't really matter I guess as a few days probs won't make the difference.

Anyway, what would you do if you were me?

OP posts:
PeloMom · 14/12/2024 22:39

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 22:20

Thanks everyone,

Anyone who's had it before how long does it typically last?? Family member was only ill for less than 24h, is this typical? Going to have the section alone, but terrified of getting it after baby is born and trying to work out when people can visit/help. I can't believe it's contagious for 2 weeks! Why are we all told 48hrs?!

I'm a bit wary sending toddler to a childminder as it's really doing its rounds here. Nursery is full of it- reason why toddler isn't going there on Tuesday! So feel like I may aswell just not take the risk, I'll still be worrying if not. What a shit, shit situation. Our last baby too 😔 everything was supposed to be so special

We all had it earlier in the year. Although the initial symptoms stopped after a day didn’t feel full better for about 7ish days

SwingTheMonkey · 14/12/2024 22:42

I’ve had 4 c sections, 1 emergency and 3 planned. The planned ones were absolutely fine, good experiences, nice and calm. If you had to do it alone, you’ll be absolutely fine - although if there’s any way you can find someone to look after dc, I would, because it’d be a shame for dad to miss it.

With regards to Xmas day - hell yeah I’d see people 10 days after the last incidence of D&V. Get yourself a good Xmas dinner cooked! It’s important here to realise that yes, you can mitigate risk by not seeing people who are actively ill, but the reality is - you’d have to avoid everyone all the time to prevent ever bringing something nasty into the house.

Bibbitybobbity70 · 14/12/2024 22:43

I definitely not want I'll family anywhere near you.
Can you reach out to DD nursery & see if any chance of extra of extra cover either in nursery or with familiar staff OOH ( often will do babysitting in evenings)? Or perhaps local childminders, I'd def cover if at all possible if any of my families asked.
Edited to say I know of other childminders who have covered overnight stays for their families in similar circumstances

YourTurnForTheTree · 14/12/2024 22:47

Could you find a doula asap? And their main role would be to hold an iPad with your husband there? Not the same ofc but you could keep chatting to him?

Good luck. You can do this alone and be proud of yourself.

Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is. You have great hospital staff, and elective cs are usually good experiences. The modern world puts so much emphasis on all this stuff, but your husband not being there will have no impact on his bond with the baby and the love you will all have for each other. In the kindest possible way, give yourself an affectionate shake and say, ‘I can do this’. Frame it positively. Your child will be with their dad and safe. And possibly ‘see’ their sibling sooner than if your husband was there. And your husband not walking in and out of a hospital puts him at less risk of noro too!

Good luck xx

Rolly321 · 14/12/2024 22:47

I don't have advice, but lots of sympathy!

My first baby was born during covid so other than the actual procedure, my husband wasn't able to come to the hospital to see the baby until I got home.

This time around (3 weeks ago) my husband got hit by norovirus on the day on my section. Worst luck. Meant I was still in hospital on my own, although it wasn't as awful as during covid at least.

Grreeeenfly · 14/12/2024 22:50

@rc1232 hi, I hope you are ok. I think if you can’t find a friend to look after your toddler then you need to accept that the next best thing is to have the c section and have DH at home with toddler.

Is there anyone else who can come with you to the c section? If not, you will be ok. I say this because I had to have my little boy on my own, by c section. I was terrified. I honestly did not think I could do it. I remember going in alone to the hospital and dreading every moment. BUT… it was fine. First off, a planned c section is usually the most relaxed experience you can get as far as childbirth is concerned. The staff will be relaxed, you can plan to take in bits to make you feel comfortable etc. In my situation I confided in one of the staff members before going in that I felt alone and scared. They were very supportive. It was over in what seemed like fifteen minutes, I’ve honestly had worse dental appointments!

Of course the pain afterwards isn’t nice but it’s totally manageable and by the your DH will be bad with you anyway.

I know you may read this and still feel terrified but I know that this time next week you will have your second baby with you and all will be well. Lots of love x (please PM me if it would help).

Grreeeenfly · 14/12/2024 22:51

*your DH will be with you!

Grreeeenfly · 14/12/2024 22:53

YourTurnForTheTree · 14/12/2024 22:47

Could you find a doula asap? And their main role would be to hold an iPad with your husband there? Not the same ofc but you could keep chatting to him?

Good luck. You can do this alone and be proud of yourself.

Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is. You have great hospital staff, and elective cs are usually good experiences. The modern world puts so much emphasis on all this stuff, but your husband not being there will have no impact on his bond with the baby and the love you will all have for each other. In the kindest possible way, give yourself an affectionate shake and say, ‘I can do this’. Frame it positively. Your child will be with their dad and safe. And possibly ‘see’ their sibling sooner than if your husband was there. And your husband not walking in and out of a hospital puts him at less risk of noro too!

Good luck xx

@YourTurnForTheTree this is such a great idea! @rc1232 would a neighbour etc or anyone be willing? I would certainly do this if it helped someone in these circumstances

usethedata · 14/12/2024 22:54

In terms of c section recovery every day gets easier and by day seven i always felt basically normal just no heavy lifting etc. When my second baby was 2 weeks old I was able to walk my 3 year old to the local park and even lift them on and off swings a couple of times without any issues. There is a world of difference in recovery time between an emergency section after a prolonged labour, and a planned and very routine section. Many people you speak to will have had emergency sections. Even then it's not the end of the world. Just worth being clear they are quite different.

Elisabeth3468 · 14/12/2024 22:56

Absolutely avoid noro , it's horrific. What a rubbish situation for you. Hopefully you can be at home as soon as possible after the birth and toddler can come visit you with dad in hospital not long after the birth.

Grreeeenfly · 14/12/2024 23:00

Also OP, I found the first 24-48 hours tough moving but was fine after that and was using stairs easily. My colleague was batch cooking 2 days after! An elective is very different to an emergency section.

UpendedPineapple · 14/12/2024 23:01

So I was throwing up, gave birth, had shits- probably about 36 hrs? They let me out of hospital after 48 hrs as I was on some other medication and I was completely fine. My parents had looked after DD1 who was the vector of disease and my mum caught it but she came round to see DD2 the day after we were home.

Hekett · 14/12/2024 23:02

FWIW my best friend had a natural delivery the first time, and c section second time (no choice). She said later that had she known, she would have taken the c section every time!

The staff will be lovely to you. It will be fine if your DH can’t go. Horrible situation but you will honestly be okay!

UpendedPineapple · 14/12/2024 23:02

Thinking about it DH came in to see me next day with DD1 who would have been 48 hrs clear at that point. Although she had zero interest in her new sibling as she was only 18months old and more interested in the taps

genesis92 · 14/12/2024 23:09

I've had a section and in the early days of recovery, even a slight cough or a laugh is excruciatingly painful. A vomit bug would probably be the worst pain imaginable on your weakened stomach muscles.

Do not risk getting Noro, it's so bloody contagious

missse · 14/12/2024 23:13

I really feel for you, OP. As somebody that was sick a couple of hours following a c section, it's not pleasant.

Noro has just ripped through our house and it was brutal. A week and a half later and I still feel rundown and knackered. Having a newborn and toddler is tiring enough and you need to feel as healthy as possible.

Take care of yourself x

AelinAG · 14/12/2024 23:20

If it helps I’m just recovering from norovirus…I didn’t feel quite myself Thursday morning and fell asleep at my desk! Stomach started making awful rumblings that night and between about 5am Friday and lunchtime today was terrible, but I’m feeling better now and I expect to be back to normal by Tuesday if I carry on like this. BIL, who works in the medical field, said the strain going around now seems to be brutal, but not particularly long lived.

catcurl · 14/12/2024 23:20

I'm so sorry OP.

I would do everything I could to avoid norovirus too. As well as the risk to the baby, it will be really painful with diarrhoea and/or vomiting after a section.

I get that it all seems so unfair.

Could you possibly videocall your husband during the section? I follow a couple on Facebook who did this during Covid for infection type reasons and seeker to find it some comfort still.

HopelessHouseMaid · 14/12/2024 23:23

Could dad not rush to the hospital when they are getting ready to take you down? Have family at the ready to watch your child outside of their home for a few hours. I know it still means them seeing your child but if you can limit contact and just explain to your family the anxieties you are currently having.

oakleaffy · 14/12/2024 23:26

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:53

@Destiny123 ahh thank you that's so lovely, but no where near Surrey unfortunately! I know I'll be okay, my hospital is fantastic- just very very scared and teary at the thought of DH not seeing his baby born too. I guess worse things happen, just a bit sad 😔 x

@rc1232 It's not a 'given' that your husband will go down with it... I've been in a house where I've had it , and kept rigorously to one room and bathroom and bleached everything- and son never caught it from me.

Hopefully he won't catch it.

It's frightening how virulent it is, but hot soapy water is a a good way to help wash the virus down the sink..hand sanitiser is ineffective with norovirus.

oakleaffy · 14/12/2024 23:29

AelinAG · 14/12/2024 23:20

If it helps I’m just recovering from norovirus…I didn’t feel quite myself Thursday morning and fell asleep at my desk! Stomach started making awful rumblings that night and between about 5am Friday and lunchtime today was terrible, but I’m feeling better now and I expect to be back to normal by Tuesday if I carry on like this. BIL, who works in the medical field, said the strain going around now seems to be brutal, but not particularly long lived.

I had an horrendous bout of Norovirus this Spring.. really bad, the worst bout for a good 10 years.

They say people with blood group O+ are much more prone to getting it badly.
{My blood group}

Wotuser · 14/12/2024 23:29

Oh that’s awful for you OP.
You will be absolutely fine if you end up on your own for the birth, but I’d be looking for an emergency nanny in this situation. With it being an elective section your husband only needs to be away during the day, so if your toddler is used to nursery I’d say an experienced nanny would be able to keep them distracted. You could have a look on childcare.co.uk, contact local nanny agencies etc.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 14/12/2024 23:33

rc1232 · 14/12/2024 21:35

Guess I'm having a c section on my own then ☹️ absolutely terrified, can't stop crying- what a mess... it's everywhere apparently so hopefully I don't catch it from hospital.. thanks everyone

Please don't be terrified.

With my C section the only pain I had was like an intense ab workout. I could get up and move and it didn't stop me doing much. I'm no martyr either, I wasnt powering through any pain. I just kept on top of routinely having ibuprofen and paracetamol and making sure to gently move about but not over exert myself.

I'll be honest I was bricking it before the surgery as I'd never had it before but I don't know why I was worried in hindsight. It was a very positive experience. Can't even remember my sons dad being there because it was my and DS in our own bubble of a world.

Please don't assume you're going to be isolated or in pain. You only hear the bad experiences usually but many of us have good experiences especially when elective.

fashionqueen0123 · 14/12/2024 23:41

Just keep on top of the main meds after. I’ve had an emergency and planned section and similar recovery for both. I had paracetomol and ibuprofen which tbh don’t do much but then also had dihydrocodeine which did help. The first couple of days are quite brutal but day 3/4 I started to feel a bit better and by day 6 I felt more myself. I was back to driving after two weeks with my second.

Id try to get someone to watch your youngest. Is there really no friend or nice neighbours or family friend? Just to have her for the few hours around the birth

MissAtomicBomb1 · 14/12/2024 23:42

I think the 2 weeks thing is pretty extreme to be honest. I think in your case a week is sensible but surely the original family member would be fine by Tuesday to have your DC?
The chances of passing it on are surely outweighed by the benefits of having g your DH with you.
For what it's worth. DH and DC had norovirus last Xmas. They all passed it between each other within 48 hours. All were better within 3 days and didn't pass it to anyone else that I'm aware of - including me! I was obsessive about bleaching everywhere though!