To not know what to do? Norovirus, newborn baby and c section

[rc1232]

Hi, Posted in here just as seems to get a lot of answers. just need some advice.

Basically cut long story short.

-Family member got sick with stomach bug on Saturday, last vomit/diarreah Sunday.

• Other family members waited a few days to see them (going off 48h rule, which I've now read might not even be the case)

-family member resumed on Thursday and saw some other family members for tea -Saturday now and said family members now have D&V. Presumably from the original family member.

We've luckily not seen anyone this week for various reasons. But the problem is, we're due to have baby #2 via c section on Tuesday. Original family members and family members who have got it now were out childcare and backup childcare for our toddler ☹️ meaning I either let toddler go as planned Tuesday morning (if they stop vomiting tonight or tomorrow and are well enough) or I give birth on my own and have husband stay at home with toddler to prevent getting it.

Either situation seems shit. So upset 😭 but don't know what to do. What's worse? Having c section alone or us all possibly getting the bug/noro when bringing newborn home. Petrified baby will get it and be very ill as seems like something that could be very very harmful to a newborn?

read online and you can be contagious for 2 weeks after. No one was aware about this as 48h rule is what's widely knows so no one's fault. I'm just so upset.

If husband stays at home with toddler and I have section alone when will we then be able to see family realistically? 2 weeks? ☹️ Christmas and my birth feels ruined and no idea how I'll survive the first few weeks without my support system.

Didn't even want a bloody c section (medical reasons have forced it), petrified enough already without this now. Can't be postponed, but doesn't really matter I guess as a few days probs won't make the difference.

Anyway, what would you do if you were me?

So sorry this is happening to you OP.

Just to put your mind at ease re c section, I've had 2 electives, both times I was up and walking within 6 or 7 hours, and had minimal pain. I really only felt a bit sore, like I'd done some exercise. I know that a handful of posters on here have had slightly more difficult recoveries, but I've never met anyone in real life who has had an elective who didn't have a smooth and pain free recovery.

There's lots of threads on here filled with comments from women who have had similarly great c section recoveries. Just keep on top of your pain meds and you should feel a bit tender at most.

Wishing you all the best.

I can totally understand your upset op.

I think people are suggesting, to look around for people that you don’t know, who could potentially help you with childcare. Obviously, you have to be very responsible about it but ask other mums, other grandparents, parents’ friends, maybe even neighbours. An active grandmother type?

If a virtual stranger explained a situation like this to me and asked me to look after their child for a day or two, I would be fine with it.

Edited to say: I had a lovely calm c- section and a straightforward recovery. I felt I could be independent again, taking it very steady, on day four of recovery.

This.

I am really sorry, OP

That sounds so incredibly unfair and I'd be upset too.

I think you are doing the right thing though and you'll manage on your own. It is not ideal, so it's okay to feel sad about it, but you can do it and you'll have lovely hospital staff to hold your hand.

I wish you all the best and congratulations on your baby

You really don't want anyone in your immediate family to get norovirus, OP.

Is there anyone else who could watch your toddler on Tuesday, just during the C-section and for maybe a couple of hours afterwards? That way your DH could be there for the critical part? If it's an elective then presumably it's happening during daytime hours so it's not as if you'd need to leave your toddler with someone overnight.

Completely different situation, but when my second was born my husband went home after a few hours to look after our toddler and I spent two nights in hospital alone. (When I say alone, I mean my husband was only there during the daytime visiting hours and I was on my own overnight.) Being alone with my baby was actually wonderful and I cherish those memories. But I had had a VBAC so I had no problems getting in and out of bed or lifting my baby (compared to after my C-section).

Probably the best solution for you is going to be if you can have your C-section first thing in the morning and your husband can just stay for a couple of hours, then keep your baby in your arms as much as possible. If you can get discharged the same day (I know sometimes this is possible after a C-section) then you won't have to stay overnight on your own.

If you do have to stay in by yourself, my top tip would be to bring something like a long scarf you can tie to the end of your bed and use it to help lever yourself up and down, and use the buttons on the hospital bed to raise and lower it to the best height for getting in and out of bed and reaching for your baby in the bassinet.

I think OP said she is having the baby on Tuesday! No time for a trial run. I wouldn’t want to leave my toddler with a stranger. I know everyone keeps saying nursery staff usually offer babysitting, our nursery strongly discourage you from doing this so I’m surprised it’s an option at so many nurseries.

It’s really not always that simple to find childcare for a young child if you don’t have much of a network. I only really grew that mum friend network when my eldest hit pre school

That's really rubbish sorry OP. I've had an elective c-section & although DH was there I would say you'll be fine alone, the doctors and nurses really look after you & the anaesthetists are the best. Good luck. Having a winter baby is tough with all the bugs around ❤️

I've had 2 sections OP and there is no way on earth I'd risk getting norovirus - the very thought of vomiting when you've had abdominal surgery is
it's just not worth the risk.

If it's any consolation, i gave birth to our second baby while DH was at home with our toddler. It was actually a really good experience, the MW's didn't leave my side and truthfully DH was as much help as a chocolate teapot anyway....!!

Eek, that does put a spit of time pressure on then!
But tbh although i wouldn't want to leave my (hypothetical) child with a stranger..
.Surely that is exactly what you do when they do their first day at nursery? It wouldn't be my first choice but I think I would prefer a few hours with a qualified stranger (not a random babysitter) in my own home over my DH missing the birth of his child.
And I wouldn't be comfortable asking around for someone to do it as a favour but would absolutely ask for recommendations for a professional.

You can't determine when your elective will be, it could easily be a 4pm slot it's done on clinical need

The rates of reported reduced fetal movements goes up dramatically pre Xmas so there's a lot more people needing semi elective sections. We don't do electives on Xmas or boxing day due to reducing staffing so there's a lot more to squish in for that reason

I'm interested where you've come across same day discharges as I've worked in most of England and never come across such a thing.

Southampton is the most proactive I've ever come across for early discharges and even then it's 24h post op that they leave, and only if totally straight forward baby feeding well etc..the other 8 hospitals I've worked at people go home most frequently at 48h post op but can be longer than that

I've had 2 sections. One alone and one with partner.

Honestly the one alone was much better. Better care, everyone in the surgery was far more attentive and kind to me. They were defo more on the ball with me being alone. They acted like family to me and I will be forever grateful for their kindness.

Haha that's quite common among men, hence I much prefer female birthing partners. The repeated "there there baby, its OK baby" drives me mad when putting in epidurals, like you're driving me screwy with the patronising comments let alone me not being the one having contractions

Or the ones that are determined to get a definite answer on a baby name when the lady is puking her guts up. N just don't stop asking till me and the midwife tell them this isn't the Time

Or those that dont sit down when we tell them they're about to faint, as "I'm not going to faint". Followed by imminently fainting and then giving us 2 patients to look after

Haha men! Much prefer the lady birthing partners

Is it possible that the second lot of family members caught it from somewhere else?

Could first ill family member look after your child but take heavy precautions - wear a mask, open windows, take to park, wash hands, sanitise everything. You could prepare child’s food before you go etc. DH drop you off at hospital and then he comes to you just in time for section limiting amount of time family member is with your child?

A qualified nanny from an agency is a stranger but I think the risk of something happening is very very small. I have had to book “strangers” before and they have all been beyond lovely. Obviously used a vetted agency, check references and set clear rules. One lady is by far the best childcare professional I have ever met and my toddler adored her and laughed non stop.

For me, this is a situation where I would absolutely want DH around, and would ask around everywhere (other mums etc) and call every childminder to make sure Dh doesn’t miss the birth. even ask relatives who live a distance away and might be happy to travel a few hours to help.

My local vicar (a woman) has also watched children before in those situations.

I’m a midwife and would suggest bringing your toddler in with your husband, when you go in for the c section husband and toddler wait in your recovery room for you. Then they are with you right up to when you go in and straight after-c section takes about an hour xxx

What a brilliant idea!

@Fashionlover123 this did cross my mind briefly but I thought it'd just be strictly not allowed! In the hospital I go to children can't even come for scans or antenatal appointments (seen a few babies in prams but that's it). I'll have to speak to them properly tomorrow and just discuss everything at length. Trying to pull myself out of my slump today and think about the positives x

Do come back and tell us when baby is born.

My daughter and son in law both got Covid three days after their baby was born. Not ideal, but all forgotten now.

I've had 3 c sections & honestly it's nothing to be worried about. Yes it would be better if your dh was there, but you will be absolutely fine on your own.

The midwives are really helpful on the ward when you've had a c section so you won't be on your own (& likely baby will be pretty sleepy for the first few days too making it easier for you to recover).

I've had two c-sections and they were both good experiences - calm and the staff were lovely. I know how you are feeling about prospect of doing it on your own as I was almost in this situation as DH was working abroad and was almost too late for birth due to bad weather disrupting travel. You will be fine if you have to be alone but suggestion of DH and toddler waiting with you before op and being there after in recovery room, or even on ward, sounds great to me.

The op won't take that long, and DH and toddler being there to meet new baby when you get out of theatre will give you something very positive to focus on. Having his help on the ward while anaesthetic wears off would also be good. To be honest, him being able to visit you with toddler and help after the birth will be far more useful to you, in my opinion, than having him there during the actual op.

I absolutely wouldn't want to risk having norovirus while you are recovering from a section. My recoveries were fine but you need to be able to take your time for a bit getting to the loo and vomiting with a section wound is best avoided. DH and toddler need to avoid risk of catching it as much as possible too.

As for Christmas and your birthday, such a shame but you can always have a special family celebration once the norovirus quarantine period is up. My DD was born two months premature on 23rd December so I spent an unexpected Christmas in hospital after being full of plans and preparations for family coming to spend Christmas with us. It wasn't what was planned or what I would have chosen but it all worked out and we had a special celebration with family and friends when she got home after 8 weeks which is still a very happy memory.

You can do this! Find a way to make it work for you, and to make it a special time for you and your family. Sending positive vibes.

I would see if a friend could come to the section with you.

@Destiny123 our local policy was 48hours when I had DS but they do the well baby check around 12-24hours. DS had his well baby check at 6pm (born 3am) and I discharged myself leaving around 9pm. The ward was understaffed so I would have had to look after DS as DH would have been forced to leave at 8pm vs going home to bed with DH to look after us both.

OP it's your decision I would leave little one with the family (preferably who had it 1st) and risk getting it later on vs not having DH at the birth. You will get over noro even if it's painful but you would always have the memory of him not being there to witness the birth.

Definitely wouldn't being missing Xmas unless your going to isolate from everyone as it's doing the rounds regardless

When I had my first ten years ago they said 3 days was the advised period but they said as long as everything is ok 48 hours is fine.
Then when I had my second 5 years ago it had changed thank god and they send you home the next day. Unless you had problems of course!
I couldn’t have gone home the same day though I didn’t even get out of bed until the next morning. Benefit of a catheter!

1-2 hours? If it’s like my nhs c sections, you have to be at the hospital by 7am and you might not get your c section until 5pm. But you don’t get a time slot in advance, you have to sit and wait, possibly for up to 10 hours, until it’s your turn.

I can’t see that taking the toddler to the hospital or arranging 2 hours childcare is remotely helpful, if anything it sounds more stressful.

Also it’s a weekday - most friends and family might be at work. And Tuesday is 48 hours away, very short notice to register with a one off babysitter.

I’d go it alone in these circumstances.

This is rotten timing @rc1232 but take comfort from the fact you will soon be holding your beautiful new arrival.

I was going to suggest the same as @Fashionlover123 I’d get your husband and toddler to take you to hospital in the morning and then he can take the little one off to see a Christmas film, play in the park, have a hot chocolate or whatever. When they come to take you down for theatre you can call him and then he will have time to be back at the hospital to see you immediately when you come out.

Please make sure the medical team know of your acute health anxiety and that you are on your own. They won’t bump you to the top of the queue ahead of emergency C sections but they may well do you first of the electives as there will be a medical reason to do so. The anaesthetist might also give you something to relax you further in the cocktail of drugs.

On Christmas Day could you arrange to meet family for a walk in the open air? Wrap baby up warm in their stroller, take lots of hand sanitiser and be careful about kisses (hugs probably fine)?