Page 16 | sitting in costa coffee

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 2024-12-14T15:26:05+00:00

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS. In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat. AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

nachocheese · 14/12/2024 22:38

YABU to refer to her as 'some woman'.

ButterCrackers · 14/12/2024 22:39

Why was she keeping the two seats she didn’t need? I’d have just sat down at the table and let the staff tell her it’s by seat not whole table.

greengreyblue · 14/12/2024 22:40

Not sure why you mentioned the ethnic origin of the couple that helped you. What relevance was did that have?
Coffee shops are notorious for this .They keep serving but don’t allow you to reserve a table. I don’t sit in for that reason

wombat15 · 14/12/2024 22:40

Manara · 14/12/2024 22:13

And yet you’re fine with OP complaining about a single person taking a table 🙄

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No I'm not. I totally disagree with OP.

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 22:41

ButterCrackers · 14/12/2024 22:39

Why was she keeping the two seats she didn’t need? I’d have just sat down at the table and let the staff tell her it’s by seat not whole table.

Why is someone alone at a table with 2 chairs keeping that seat?

Imjustlikeyou2 · 14/12/2024 22:44

I had this recently. Me & my 3year old sat at a 4 seater table in a busy M&S cafe. Couple came over and asked to sit in the spare seats, I couldn’t say no, they were elderly and had a tray of food I’d of felt terrible.

My 3 year old spoke to them the whole time, & they were very sweet with her but I did feel awkward making small talk with them whilst eating my jacket 🤣 I wouldn’t ask if I was looking for a table but I can’t blame them for asking either. Basically I can see both sides!

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

I have been in cafes/coffee shops alone, and have had people ask me if they can sit at my table - as there are no others free, and I say 'of course...' Because I am not entitled, and self centred, and so precious that I think I own the fucking table and no-one is 'allowed' to sit with me.

And, I have never EVER had the person/people trying to engage in conversation with me, because if they're alone, they're alone for the same reason as me - because they want half an hour to themselves to have a coffee and a read through their phone/read of a magazine. (And if they're with someone else, they want to chat to them.) These other people are NOT interested in having a conversation with a stranger, no matter how important and special that 'stranger' thinks they are.

If someone is so precious and fragile that they can't bear someone in a public place speaking to them, (or GASP wanting to sit 2-3 feet away from them,) then I don't understand why they even go into a cafe alone. I am willing to bet that the amount of people trying to get them to chat is vanishingly small - if any at all. It never happens to me. Other than 'can I sit here please, I can't find another seat' the person/people says nothing else. As I said, other people don't want to chat either.

It is breathtakingly entitled and rude to say no to someone who wants to sit down when there is a seat at the table you're sitting at (and there is nowhere else to sit.) It's not YOUR table, you don't OWN it, and you have no right to dominate it. How rude!

If there was a seat (or more than one) available at a table, and that was the only table with free seats, and someone said I can't sit there, (when I asked politely) I would tell the staff. I am sure they would put them in their place, and tell them they don't own the table!

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LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

Duplicate post.

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IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 14/12/2024 22:49

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

I have been in cafes/coffee shops alone, and have had people ask me if they can sit at my table - as there are no others free, and I say 'of course...' Because I am not entitled, and self centred, and so precious that I think I own the fucking table and no-one is 'allowed' to sit with me.

And, I have never EVER had the person/people trying to engage in conversation with me, because if they're alone, they're alone for the same reason as me - because they want half an hour to themselves to have a coffee and a read through their phone/read of a magazine. (And if they're with someone else, they want to chat to them.) These other people are NOT interested in having a conversation with a stranger, no matter how important and special that 'stranger' thinks they are.

If someone is so precious and fragile that they can't bear someone in a public place speaking to them, (or GASP wanting to sit 2-3 feet away from them,) then I don't understand why they even go into a cafe alone. I am willing to bet that the amount of people trying to get them to chat is vanishingly small - if any at all. It never happens to me. Other than 'can I sit here please, I can't find another seat' the person/people says nothing else. As I said, other people don't want to chat either.

It is breathtakingly entitled and rude to say no to someone who wants to sit down when there is a seat at the table you're sitting at (and there is nowhere else to sit.) It's not YOUR table, you don't OWN it, and you have no right to dominate it. How rude!

If there was a seat (or more than one) available at a table, and that was the only table with free seats, and someone said I can't sit there, (when I asked politely) I would tell the staff. I am sure they would put them in their place, and tell them they don't own the table!

.

Edited

So good you posted twice !

I agree with every word.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:51

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 14/12/2024 22:49

So good you posted twice !

I agree with every word.

Show quote history

Thank you! I'm not even sure how that happened!

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 14/12/2024 22:51

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

Duplicate post.

!

Edited

It was worth posting twice !

Kitkat1523 · 14/12/2024 22:51

NicolaCasanova · 14/12/2024 15:55

I would have said hello politely and sat down.

Nothing polite about sitting at an occupied table…..fucking rude

Manara · 14/12/2024 22:52

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

Duplicate post.

!

Edited

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Manara · 14/12/2024 22:52

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

I have been in cafes/coffee shops alone, and have had people ask me if they can sit at my table - as there are no others free, and I say 'of course...' Because I am not entitled, and self centred, and so precious that I think I own the fucking table and no-one is 'allowed' to sit with me.

And, I have never EVER had the person/people trying to engage in conversation with me, because if they're alone, they're alone for the same reason as me - because they want half an hour to themselves to have a coffee and a read through their phone/read of a magazine. (And if they're with someone else, they want to chat to them.) These other people are NOT interested in having a conversation with a stranger, no matter how important and special that 'stranger' thinks they are.

If someone is so precious and fragile that they can't bear someone in a public place speaking to them, (or GASP wanting to sit 2-3 feet away from them,) then I don't understand why they even go into a cafe alone. I am willing to bet that the amount of people trying to get them to chat is vanishingly small - if any at all. It never happens to me. Other than 'can I sit here please, I can't find another seat' the person/people says nothing else. As I said, other people don't want to chat either.

It is breathtakingly entitled and rude to say no to someone who wants to sit down when there is a seat at the table you're sitting at (and there is nowhere else to sit.) It's not YOUR table, you don't OWN it, and you have no right to dominate it. How rude!

If there was a seat (or more than one) available at a table, and that was the only table with free seats, and someone said I can't sit there, (when I asked politely) I would tell the staff. I am sure they would put them in their place, and tell them they don't own the table!

.

Edited

I am also fine with people asking to share my table but I’m not ‘entitled, and self centred, and so precious’ enough to think that just because I’m
ok with it everyone else should be.

RTFT. People have shared experiences of having eating disorders and having to share with strangers who then commented on their food.
Learn some empathy and understand everyone is different and people have things going on that you don’t know about.

They are 100% entitled to sit alone. If the cafe allows it then it’s not your place to interfere.

Kitkat1523 · 14/12/2024 22:53

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

I have been in cafes/coffee shops alone, and have had people ask me if they can sit at my table - as there are no others free, and I say 'of course...' Because I am not entitled, and self centred, and so precious that I think I own the fucking table and no-one is 'allowed' to sit with me.

And, I have never EVER had the person/people trying to engage in conversation with me, because if they're alone, they're alone for the same reason as me - because they want half an hour to themselves to have a coffee and a read through their phone/read of a magazine. (And if they're with someone else, they want to chat to them.) These other people are NOT interested in having a conversation with a stranger, no matter how important and special that 'stranger' thinks they are.

If someone is so precious and fragile that they can't bear someone in a public place speaking to them, (or GASP wanting to sit 2-3 feet away from them,) then I don't understand why they even go into a cafe alone. I am willing to bet that the amount of people trying to get them to chat is vanishingly small - if any at all. It never happens to me. Other than 'can I sit here please, I can't find another seat' the person/people says nothing else. As I said, other people don't want to chat either.

It is breathtakingly entitled and rude to say no to someone who wants to sit down when there is a seat at the table you're sitting at (and there is nowhere else to sit.) It's not YOUR table, you don't OWN it, and you have no right to dominate it. How rude!

If there was a seat (or more than one) available at a table, and that was the only table with free seats, and someone said I can't sit there, (when I asked politely) I would tell the staff. I am sure they would put them in their place, and tell them they don't own the table!

.

Edited

Nah….if you asked to sit at a table with me I would say sorry no, someone else is coming……and in my head I would be thinking, fuck off and find your own fucking table 🙄

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 22:54

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:47

Duplicate post.

!

Edited

Good for you. I have had people just sit with me without asking and expect interaction. They fucking ruined the time I had. Kept asking about my food etc when I have issue around eating. I am ND and have MH issues. It has taken me years to feel able to leave the house, let alone go into a cafe and sit alone. I wear headphones, I have a card that says to leave me alone.
Yet, I am "entitled" for wanting to be alone in a cafe?
I have a few friends like me who want to be out but not with people. If you can't understand that, then I feel there is no point engaging.

Manara · 14/12/2024 22:54

Kitkat1523 · 14/12/2024 22:53

Nah….if you asked to sit at a table with me I would say sorry no, someone else is coming……and in my head I would be thinking, fuck off and find your own fucking table 🙄

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Well said.

Buttercup198 · 14/12/2024 22:55

Yeah I wouldn't offer your either anti social over here

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:57

Manara · 14/12/2024 22:52

I am also fine with people asking to share my table but I’m not ‘entitled, and self centred, and so precious’ enough to think that just because I’m
ok with it everyone else should be.

RTFT. People have shared experiences of having eating disorders and having to share with strangers who then commented on their food.
Learn some empathy and understand everyone is different and people have things going on that you don’t know about.

They are 100% entitled to sit alone. If the cafe allows it then it’s not your place to interfere.

Show quote history

Not if it's the last seat in the cafe they're not. Tell me no, and I'll still sit there. It's not YOUR table, you don't own it.

What are you going to do about it if someone sits there anyway?

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ButterCrackers · 14/12/2024 22:58

It’s like on a bus or train . I sit down and there’s a free seat next to me. Eventually it gets busy and someone says is that seat free. I say yes. The other person sits down next to me. It’s the same in a cafe. A free seat at my table is for another customer.

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 22:59

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:57

Not if it's the last seat in the cafe they're not. Tell me no, and I'll still sit there. It's not YOUR table, you don't own it.

What are you going to do about it if someone sits there anyway?

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Edited

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For me, the unexpected change would make me overwhelmed and I could have a panic attack or a meltdown. But yes, feel free to enjoy your seat.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 22:59

Kitkat1523 · 14/12/2024 22:53

Nah….if you asked to sit at a table with me I would say sorry no, someone else is coming……and in my head I would be thinking, fuck off and find your own fucking table 🙄

Show quote history

You can say 'sorry no' and I will still sit there if there are no other seats.

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LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 23:01

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 22:59

For me, the unexpected change would make me overwhelmed and I could have a panic attack or a meltdown. But yes, feel free to enjoy your seat.

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And I would have a panic attack if I had no seat, and would struggle because of my mobility issues, but yes feel free to make me stand up in the middle of the cafe juggling my cake and latte, while you hog a table to yourself and pop your bag on the chair I could have sat on.

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XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 23:02

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 23:01

And I would have a panic attack if I had no seat, and would struggle because of my mobility issues, but yes feel free to make me stand up in the middle of the cafe juggling my cake and latte, while you hog a table to yourself and pop your bag on the chair I could have sat on.

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Edited

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Then check there are seats before you order. It is common sense.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/12/2024 23:03

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 23:02

Then check there are seats before you order. It is common sense.

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But there Is a seat, at the table YOU are sitting at, and I am sitting in it. I will NOT stand up when there is a free seat.

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