sitting in costa coffee

[IveGotToGoToMeDads]

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS.
In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat.
AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

You certainly shouldn't sit on a table anywhere. That is antisocial behavior.

I don't know that I understand the situation; was her son not actually with her and she was just sitting there by herself? If her son was with her what if they decided to get together for coffee and have a chat and they didn't want some randos listening in?

The problem is when someone on their own has waited patiently for their food knowing that there are (for example) three tables left - suddenly loses the possibility of a seat after they've already picked up their food because two or three groups have come in simultaneously and have "bagged" all three tables.

The most equitable systems that I've seen are where you order and are given a table number that you can use to mark your table, or where tables are allocated on entry.

If the cafe has no such system in place, then it seems reasonable that someone who has already purchased food should normally be able to sit at spare seats at a table. As I've said in previous posts, round my way older folk in particular will often offer others the chance to sit down. ETA It's seldom the case that the folk standing will ask.

Who's upset?

@WearyAuldWumman if anyone castigates you for that very moving post it says more about them than about you.

@ilovesooty well op clearly, and some others on this thread. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I wouldn't expect to just join a stranger's the anywhere tbh. The table was occupied.

Yep, when I go into a cafe, I do a quick scan at the tables. If there are none/few free, I leave and go elsewhere. I don't order something and stand there with a cat's bum mouth expecting someone to shift just for me. And I would never ask to join someone.

What a lovely experience ❤️

Exactly! What sort of martyr would do that?

And yet you’re fine with OP complaining about a single person taking a table 🙄

Yeah that’s weird af asking a stranger to sit at their table.

Might have been the only space when she went in and if she’s paid and there first, she’s entitled to that space

And did you make a fuss if anyone dared to share it?

I simply cannot comprehend the prissy attitude of the posters on MN who are so up themselves that they can't share a table in somewhere like Costa.

Well aren't you charming. It's so ridiculously prissy.

Someone did! A trio sat on my table and kept talking to me about the food I was eating. At the time, I was struggling with eating issues (namely eating in front of anyone... I still have a hard time with it now). They were rude to think I owed them interaction.
When strangers have sat with me, they don't leave me be. They want to talk. I don't want that. And please don't say to not go and sit in a cafe if I don't want someone to talk to me. I need to get out, but I need my space too.

Oh yes of course they should. Heaven forfend that any of the table hoggers should be asked to share a table.

The woman didn’t make a fuss. She simply said that the seats weren’t free as she was with her son. Her son may have been on his way.

Considering the rude way OP talks about the woman (‘some woman was sat at a table’), I wouldn’t say it was the woman on her own who was ‘up herself’ as you put it.

And please don't say to not go and sit in a cafe if I don't want someone to talk to me. I need to get out, but I need my space too.

I would never dream of saying that. It certainly is not my experience that other than "is this seat free?" "No, please take it" that I've ever been forced to engage in conversation.

Do you think calling people ‘prissy’ and ‘up themselves’ is charming? It isn’t, it’s rude.

I would always offer if I was alone and saw someone in OP's situation, but I would not like it at all. Still, I am a very soft touch.

I would not offer if I was with a second person who presumably might want a conversation and elbow room.

I would never ask. Tables come free fast enough.

If you do ask, you're surely allowing for the person you ask saying no.

I have had lots of people ask if a seat if free... as in they want to take the chair to another table. That is fine.
I go to cafes to be out, but be alone. I don't want someone sat with me. It ruins the whole experience for me.

Round my way - as I think I've said upthread - older people in particular will tend to offer up spare seats when they see people in need. I can't recall many instances of people having to ask.

Same here. And I live in a city which has a reputation for its citizens supposedly being aloof. It's perfectly normal in somewhere like Costa- and it's not just older people.

I think the behaviour of table hoggers in cafés is rude and prissy.

By ‘table hogging’ you mean a single woman daring to take up a space as a paying customer. She should be bowing and scraping to couples to take her table.

The woman in the OP was with her son on a table for 4. 50% occupancy. People sitting alone are also at 50% occupancy (tables always have 2 chairs).
If 2 people on a 4 person table are "hogging", then a lone person at a 2 person table is too.
Therefore, single people are selfish for being in cafe alone because they are preventing couples from sitting together. Bullshit, yes?
And it is not prissy to not want someone to sit with you.

That is incredibly rude. You don’t know if people are waiting for someone. If they’ve just had bad news and are trying to gather themselves. If they have additional needs.

You are not entitled to a seat.

If you did that at my table my elbow would be meeting your drink.

I'm likely to be that single woman in a café. I probably bought a coffee and a cake. I didn't buy a table for 4.

I can't comprehend the rudeness in refusing to share the table if there are no other spaces.