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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find this really chilling.. :-( [MNHQ CONTENT WARNING: sexual assault]

131 replies

fixingmylife · 13/12/2024 18:05

I can't believe the number of violence against women from men sickening stories that happening at the moment. This one really chilled me to my very core.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9jkvymvw7o

A blonde Natalie looks to camera in a selfie

Man raped and killed unconscious woman on park bench

A sexual predator raped and killed an unconscious woman on a west London park bench.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9jkvymvw7o

OP posts:
Forestslove · 13/12/2024 20:12

Absolutely tragic. I hope he rots in hell but that’s probably too kind! Her poor children and family💔

whynotwhatknot · 13/12/2024 20:29

i wish they woulnt report it as a life sentene when its not at least in america they mean what they say

Dwrcegin · 13/12/2024 20:33

From BBC “Jurors were not told of Iidow's previous convictions for sexual offences.”
Previous convictions.
Freed to rape and kill.

FFS he should have been locked up for life already. Those Judges need looking at, why are they giving such short sentences?

Jifmicroliquid · 13/12/2024 20:41

Monster. Evil monster.

That poor woman and her family. How are they ever going to get over what he did to her?

starstar84 · 13/12/2024 21:26

This made me feel so sick. Agree with the death sentence for this. Or for those who were not born here to be deported back. They don’t deserve a place in our society, and these lax sentences make our country a soft target when it comes to these horrific crimes.

Onceuponatime9 · 13/12/2024 21:27

There are no words other than this is a heinous crime which deserves life in prison.
I was brought up to never place myself in a position where this type of atrocity could happen when out for a night with friends any more than leaving my door open for a thief. There are evil people in the world & we need to educate our young both male & female to be ware of this, especially where & if alcohol & drugs are concerned.

RaspberryBeretxx · 13/12/2024 21:27

This is so horrific. She was only 37, I can’t believe how awful the ordeal must have been to initiate a heart attack.

@NotAScoobyDoo2 I’m so sorry you’ve been through this. It’s just crazy that the police think he could have reasonably assumed consent. These men know there’s no consent they just don’t care 😞. I hope you are ok.

UniqueOP · 13/12/2024 21:28

It's horrendous, but I think it's important to remember that these terrible incidents are rare. It doesn't seem it because they're in the media, and you can spend all day reading these stories and freaking out, when the fact is that millions upon millions of women make millions and millions of park visits every single day and they're fine. I get scared, too, with all these stories around in the media, but I try not to let it overwhelm me, by remembering that most people go about their business safely, most of the time.

Different but related, in terms of feeling scared, I was getting really freaked out reading about all the young cancers in the DM recently. They're really hammering the topic, which is great for awareness, but I had to stop reading them, and I reminded myself that just over half of people never get cancer. I was beginning to feel that I might have it too, after reading so many stories. After all, it's not like the media runs stories about all the people who lived long lives and never got cancer, is it??

It's important not to let yourself spiral, because that way lies madness. I know it's easier said than done. But I do find that thinking the opposite of where my mind goes helps. To take a really simple example of what I mean, I might think "Hey, this and that person didn't send me Christmas cards" - or I could think about all the people who DID. Counteracting the fears with the positive side, I guess.

Username2532 · 13/12/2024 21:34

whynotwhatknot · 13/12/2024 20:29

i wish they woulnt report it as a life sentene when its not at least in america they mean what they say

Yes, a life sentence, should mean exactly that.

HereForTheAnimals · 13/12/2024 21:39

Threefigures · 13/12/2024 18:38

The scariest part is no matter how many men it is, we don't know which ones they are.

I'm also a man, and I'm so very sorry that people of the same sex as me can make the opposite sex, who I feel is a million times better than men, feel afraid. Can I do anything in my normal day to day living to help?

This case, along with all the others is disgusting, and I'm struggling to find words about the actual incident, and the paltry 10 years sentencing? I hope this fucker is shanked. I know violence begets violence, but this fucker subjectively deserves it.

NotAScoobyDoo2 · 13/12/2024 21:53

RaspberryBeretxx · 13/12/2024 21:27

This is so horrific. She was only 37, I can’t believe how awful the ordeal must have been to initiate a heart attack.

@NotAScoobyDoo2 I’m so sorry you’ve been through this. It’s just crazy that the police think he could have reasonably assumed consent. These men know there’s no consent they just don’t care 😞. I hope you are ok.

Not really. It's only dawning on me that not many people give a shit. 50% of women and 75% are rape apologists. The remainder belong to the brigade of people who are sympathetic but think you should be over it within a few months; and those that genuinely have a well of sympathy are the smallest brigade of people.

NotAScoobyDoo2 · 13/12/2024 21:53

75% of men

Floralnomad · 13/12/2024 21:54

Let’s face it the 10 yrs minimum is nowhere near enough but the likelihood of someone this depraved getting parole or managing to say out of prison if he ever does get out is pretty slim . Hopefully he will have a horrible time of it in prison .

Over40Overdating · 13/12/2024 22:00

My god. What kind of hollow, hate filled person would see a passed out woman and commit this level of barbarity. Repeatedly.

Someone like that cannot be rehabilitated.

Will never be safe to be in the presence of women or vulnerable people. He will offend again and again.
In cases like this I wish there was the option of castration because why should women need to live in fear of a void of humanity like this existing alongside them.

How do her family ever get over the detail of how she died. The horror and indignity.

I hope he meets someone as empty of humanity as he is who solves the problem long term.

Ja428 · 13/12/2024 22:02

I do think that in very limited cases such as this one, the judge ought to have the option to apply the death penalty.

Isatis · 13/12/2024 22:03

NotAScoobyDoo2 · 13/12/2024 19:25

He'll be released. Rapists always are.

No, they aren't.

Isatis · 13/12/2024 22:04

Ja428 · 13/12/2024 22:02

I do think that in very limited cases such as this one, the judge ought to have the option to apply the death penalty.

If we had the death penalty - and I hope we never become that uncivilised - it wouldn't be applicable to manslaughter.

connie26 · 13/12/2024 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

coxesorangepippin · 13/12/2024 22:09

Oh yeah this one's bad

What goes through these men's minds??

Isatis · 13/12/2024 22:10

Dwrcegin · 13/12/2024 20:33

From BBC “Jurors were not told of Iidow's previous convictions for sexual offences.”
Previous convictions.
Freed to rape and kill.

FFS he should have been locked up for life already. Those Judges need looking at, why are they giving such short sentences?

His previous conviction was for attempting to groom people online. Undoubtedly a very serious offence, but if we are going to say that merits a life sentence we really have nowhere to go with sentences for actual violence, rape and murder.

lineylines · 13/12/2024 22:11

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/12/2024 18:56

Don’t they usually only serve half inside and the other half out on license.

Only on shorter sentences.

The cut-off used to be sentences over 5 years would be served in full (except for time off for good behaviour or whatever) but that was some years back, no idea if it's the same now.

Onceuponatime9 · 13/12/2024 22:12

Onceuponatime9 · 13/12/2024 21:27

There are no words other than this is a heinous crime which deserves life in prison.
I was brought up to never place myself in a position where this type of atrocity could happen when out for a night with friends any more than leaving my door open for a thief. There are evil people in the world & we need to educate our young both male & female to be ware of this, especially where & if alcohol & drugs are concerned.

Edited

So is it wrong to grow up knowing both women & men should be aware atrocities like this happen & to do our very best to be aware of placing ourselves in a vulnerable position,especially where alcohol & drugs are concerned.

Isatis · 13/12/2024 22:13

HereForTheAnimals · 13/12/2024 21:39

I'm also a man, and I'm so very sorry that people of the same sex as me can make the opposite sex, who I feel is a million times better than men, feel afraid. Can I do anything in my normal day to day living to help?

This case, along with all the others is disgusting, and I'm struggling to find words about the actual incident, and the paltry 10 years sentencing? I hope this fucker is shanked. I know violence begets violence, but this fucker subjectively deserves it.

It's not 10 years. It's a minimum of 10 years 8 months. A parole board will only let him out if reasonably satisfied there is no risk of reoffending. He's going to have to change massively to have a hope of achieving that.

Isatis · 13/12/2024 22:15

lineylines · 13/12/2024 22:11

Only on shorter sentences.

The cut-off used to be sentences over 5 years would be served in full (except for time off for good behaviour or whatever) but that was some years back, no idea if it's the same now.

It doesn't apply anyway to life sentences with a minimum term. In those cases, "Minimum" really does mean minimum. No-one will even begin to think about parole till he has been inside for approaching that term, and he will have to work hard to convince the parole board that he is safe in the community.

Username2532 · 13/12/2024 22:20

Isatis · 13/12/2024 22:13

It's not 10 years. It's a minimum of 10 years 8 months. A parole board will only let him out if reasonably satisfied there is no risk of reoffending. He's going to have to change massively to have a hope of achieving that.

It’s the message it sends out, he shouldn’t be up for parole in 10 years, that’s why people find that so wrong.