Son 16.5 yrs. and home after drinking alcohol

[preparingforit]

I am a single parent. My 16.5 yr old came home after a couple of drinks last evening at eight. He wasn't drunk but speech slurred a little.
His father will be aggressive and shout at him for ages if I ring to tell him. They have no relationship to speak of as my exh has very little interest in ou children and abandoned them for all intents and purposes.
He wades in every now and again trying to throw his weight around but the kids really dislike him.
My son is crying on the phone today as I was very upset with him.
I have no issue buying him a few cans and dropping/ collecting him for a party .
Am I being totally unreasonable here ?

His father will be aggressive and shout at him for ages if I ring to tell him

Why on earth would you tell his father?

He wasn't drunk but speech slurred a little.

Which is a pretty normal response for someone who you’ve been fine with this: I have no issue buying him a few cans and dropping/ collecting him for a party

My son is crying on the phone today as I was very upset with him.

What on earth have you said to him to make him so upset!?

Have you threatened him with ringing his aggressive father and telling him?! I seriously hope not!

Errrr what's the issue? Poor kid.

You are minimising a child poisoning themselves.

Their brain is a child stage still, medical fact.

Alcohol is in fact a poison, the volume and dilution is what stops it killing us.

Binge drinking is drinking more than three pub size drinks as an adult. So yes it is binge if the alcohol is impacting him

Your minimising is sadly societal, it is very sad to see adults not protecting our young people.

This doesn't make sense.

You're happy to buy him drinks to have a party, but then are upset when he comes home from having drinks slightly tipsy?

And why on earth would you phone the father who has abandoned him, solely for the intention of getting him to tell your son off? That's hardly going to improve things either?

Really, really strange thought process OP.

She should be protecting him from his father. HTH

At no time did I suggest otherwise.

However giving alcohol and facilitating it is likely to be as dangerous.
HTH

You seriously need to chill out about this, @preparingforit. Most parents will allow their 16 year olds to have a couple of drinks on special occasions.

And again another individual minimising giving alcohol to a person who doesn't have an adult formed brain 🤦‍♀️

I'll gladly agree to disagree with you given that it's only you and the OP who are so highly strung about it.

So he went out for a drink but stopped and came home before getting completely wasted?!? Give him a break, he hasn't done anything wrong.

You are disagreeing with medical fact.

I assume you are a qualified liver specialist? Neurological damage researcher ? Addiction specialist? No ?

The "adult formed brain" doesn't exist until about the age of 25. The legal drinking age in the UK is 18. The OP's son is 16 and a half.

If you're so concerned about it, why not start a petition to increase the legal drinking age in the UK to 25?

I have a 16.5 year old son. Him and his friends drink at parties/get togethers. It's really normal these days and to be honest me and my friends drank alcohol at his age too. The only difference was we were in nightclubs! I talk to him about the dangers of drinking too much, he's pretty good really. It's not a big deal.

Sounds pretty normal for a teenager of his age. 🤷‍♀️

Show me the facts where all of these 16.5 year olds have had a couple of drinks and then got liver transplants. I imagine not one story like this will exist. It was a couple of drinks ffs. Anyway I'm super bored now, have a nice day.

We've all been there. I don't know why you need to tell his father. I have a 16 year old and my ex isn't involved, I don't tell him a bloody thing about DS! He doesn't deserve to know.

@Marblesbackagain
"You are disagreeing with medical fact.

I assume you are a qualified liver specialist? Neurological damage researcher ? Addiction specialist? No ?"

Out of interest, what are your qualifications here?

Why would you ring his Father if they have barely any relationship and you know he'll give him hell for it?!! He's had a few drinks, he's got home safely without being comatose. Are you annoyed he didn't tell you? If this is the reaction it may be why. I, width I'm sure many other PP's, were out in the local clubs at that age! Give him a bit of a break.

Don't tell his dad. It's not really a big deal, most teenagers have had alcohol at his age. At least he was only a bit tipsy and not absolutely bladdered! Have a chat with him about knowing your limits and keeping safe. Let him know he can ring you at any time for help. It's all just part of growing up.

And the irony is, I work with people with alcohol addiction and run groups weekly and getting people into detox. There's no way a 16 year old ever had a couple of drinks then needed a liver transplant. Just a complete extreme opinion of this poster!

The legal drinking age in the UK is 5.

Given the levels of obesity in this country, not sure thats true

This doesn't seem to tally up with the actual statistical data which shows decline in underage drinking since the 90s. I am afraid, without this data this is just heresay.

It obviously isn’t ideal that a 16 yo drinks to the extent that he slurs his words.

But those of you pressing the point about poisoned brain, national alcohol crisis etc, what do you advise the OP do?

Does making them cry or calling their absent unpleasant Dad help a teen learn to look after themself?

What do you advise??