To be annoyed at being told to be considerate of disabled people

[DefendingPan]

This sign was in the disabled toilet in a restaurant (which is also the only baby change in the restaurant).

What’s the point of this sign? What might parents be doing that they will stop after reading this?

bafling isn't it. I'd love for everyone to need to spend a week trying to negotiate life in a wheelchair to see just how sodding hard it is.

It's just a reminder to be considerate of other people.

Eg, don't waste time when people might be waiting, use the non-disabled toilet if you can for your own needs.

It will not change the selfish fuckers behaviour a jot, and will rile decent people like yourself @DefendingPan

I can't imagine that bland sign riling any really decent person. If I'd seen it when my dd was small I'd have maybe considered for a moment if there was anything I was doing thoughtlessly which might cause someone else a problem.

Try not to take too long. Also don't move bins around so that anyone in a wheelchair can not access the toilet. I have had this issue when parents have moved the nappy bin to a more convenient position for them, meaning there is no space to get to the toilet.
Its just be considerate.

Wow, as a disabled person I have to say this is one of the most supportive disability threads I’ve seen on MN. Well done everyone !!

No - mothers are feeding children in the toilets when they could have done this elsewhere. My mother was waiting for over 10 minutes one day - I knocked on the door as she really needed the facilities, and the lady inside said to wait as she was breastfeeding!

Really good point. I must admit I was struggling to work out how you could inconvenience disabled people apart from taking too long.

I remember being in the queue on the day a mother and baby group must have been using the venue. About 6 prams waiting to change (there was a table in the ladies too but they didn’t seem to be using that) and 7 year old ds in his wheelchair screaming he needed a wee. I had to ask to go first and then two parents refused!

As a disabled person I know exactly what they're referring to. Making disabled people (including those of us not in a wheelchair but struggle to stand for a long time) wait in a queue whilst mums change their baby's nappies etc. I've had a baby myself but disabled people should get priority, for obvious reasons that I shouldn't have to spell out.

Also, and I'm amazed I'm having to point this out, as a disabled person whenever I'm having to wait, if I'm without my child I often get told "the regular toilets are upstairs love" 🤨 At which point I have to say "I'm disabled" and this is invariably followed by either "You don't look it" mumbled under their breath or "Oh this is baby changing" when it is in fact, disabled and baby changing.

HTH

Is this a farmhouse inn because I frequent one a few times and they have a disabled toilet but it’s a baby changing one as well the point is what they’re saying is don’t take the piss. Don’t take too long that’s unnecessary because disabled people are waiting for the toilet, I do remember once this happened to me and I was waiting and waiting and waiting. I did say to the manager I said I think this is ridiculous. Why don’t you have two separate places? I don’t understand why they don’t have it in the women’s toilets where they could have a separate place there but they don’t and it can be frustrating when you’re waiting to go to the toilet.

I don’t know whether you’re aware of Motability - the organisation that provides lease cars for the disabled, but they do exactly this with new employees. They ask them to spend a couple of days at work in a wheelchair so that they’re aware of the impact. I’m in a wheelchair and I have to say every single time I’ve used public transport, the priority seat has had a pram in it, and not once have I ever had to ask for it to be moved. People are generally very mindful of obvious disability, although I’d hate to have a hidden condition - life must be quite difficult if people can’t see what’s wrong.

It isn't always a case of just putting them somewhere else or that parents are shit, lazy entitled dicks. Our coffee shop has two loos - a toilet-wide loo and the accessible loo. If I had my three kids with me we simply couldn't fit in the single loo together. And no, I couldn't baby wear twins plus manage my son and his O2 cylinder and yes I also insisted on catching the bus with my pushchair (and yes I moved). So whilst I'd have offered to let you go ahead of me, unless they make the doors glass I can't see you once I'm sat down peeing. If you'd knocked I'd have called to hang on and come to the door once I'd finished peeing. Can't put another loo in as there simply isn't room.

Op I wouldn't be offended by the note of you use the loos considerately. Obviously someone isn't. I've seen nappies left on the side of sinks when there's bins 3 ft away for example. Just accept that someone needs to see that message.

Way too spectacularly miss the point! 🙄🤣

The law at present allows restaurants and pubs to combine baby changing facilities with the accessible toilet provision. In 2025 that law is set to change, so those establishments who have the space, and who offer baby changing facilities, will be required to separate them from the accessible toilet.

My son is disabled but it wasnt until I had to spend 6 months as a wheelchair user that I "got it". I thought I understood but I didnt.

Tears on a shopping trip was not unusual. The one I remember most was I was looking at books in WH SMith or similar and this bloke just pushed me out of the way so he could look at the same shelf. I was speechless, luckily my then DH saw and asked the bloke what the hell he was doing. He really did see "it" (me in my chair) as a thing, a shopping trolley or something that could be moved quite reasonably. Ex said "If I had been stood here, would you have pushed me out of the way?" That was totally different apparently.......

I think if your son needs an 02 cylinder that’s all the qualification you need to be in the loo anyway.

My husband had a stoma so would have used this facility. I can imagine some people giving a 40yr old man a hard time if he came out without a child.

I agree. There is a certain kind of parent who thinks babies should never wait so a disabled adult should always let a baby go first.

@EmmaMaria So to you, nobody else is genuinely disabled but yourself and everybody else is faking it?

Thanks. I have Parkinson's disease... You can’t see it - I look fine when I'm not tremoring, but I can fucking feel it and need the disabled toilets and my blue badge thank you very much.

I’m a wheelchair user. Are you a fan of ‘The Office’ ? If so do you remember the sketch where Dawn, the wheelchair user was in the pub having a meal and someone yanked her wheelchair away from the table ? I couldn’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. I’m wise to it now and slam the brake on so that they’re can’t move me. It’s just bloody rude.

Seems pretty pointless because it indicates you’re either a parent, or you’re disabled. When in fact there are many disabled parents, and many parents of disabled children.

All parent and child facilities should be disabled friendly to cater for this.

We need to move away from a world where we pop people firmly in one bucket and stereotype their needs on that basis.

Really just quite an odd sign.

I am really surprised, although pleased for you, that you have never had any issues.

I've not seen a sign like that. Surely once someone is using it then it's occupied, whoever has to wait, disabled or otherwise.

No. I'm sorry, but that's not what the sign implies at all.
And yes, I'm afraid that a disabled person desperately needing the toilet DOES come before me changing my granddaughters nappy, or a mum who likes to take her time and wash down her baby and change its clothes after a nappy change.

I think it’s a straightforward sign. It’s just saying be considerate.

Firstly it’s a restaurant. They likely don’t have infinite space to offer separate spaces for disabled people and baby changing. And legally they may not need to provide designated space for baby changes, so it’s likely disabled people are the priority. Essentially they have tacked on baby changing facilities onto the disabled loo to help customers like you out OP.

Let’s be honest doing things with children can take some people ages, meanwhile someone with a medical need to use the disabled toilet might be struggling waiting.