Football match and I am 6 months pregnant

Hercisback1 · 13/12/2024 06:49

Say "that's fine, I'm going to the cinema the day after and the kids are your responsibility"

HollyGolightly4 · 13/12/2024 06:51

I think you are being unreasonable. If he hardly ever goes out, this opportunity is nice for him- you say you don't stop him, but you're literally doing that. You just need to take time the next day

Sirzy · 13/12/2024 06:51

You are both allowed time to relax away from work and children.

GretchenWienersHair · 13/12/2024 06:51

It’s awful being knackered and I think most men will never truly understand the impact that pregnancy has on our bodies, but I do think YABU here. Everyone needs some “me time”, just make sure you’re getting yours in too.

mammaCh · 13/12/2024 06:52

That's unfair of you, he rarely out and it's only a match. It's not like he'd be gone for a few days!
I can see why he's very upset. Burnt out is not the same as I'm too sick to cope with the kids today, which is different.

Jagoda · 13/12/2024 06:52

You say he’s very hands on and hardly goes out.

This is a one off opportunity not a season ticket. YABVU.

Whaleandsnail6 · 13/12/2024 06:52

I think its unfair to make him feel bad about going...there is 2 days in the weekend, take the second day to relax and rest if he has the first for the football. Everyone needs a treat now and then

MidnightPatrol · 13/12/2024 06:52

I think it’s really important for both of you to have life outside of the home too.

I’d say yes - but then ask for X hours on your own the next day, so you get a break too.

somuchtodonextyear · 13/12/2024 06:53

Yeah you are being unreasonable and a bit precious to be honest. How do you think single parents manage? You have one child at school and that just leaves the one at home day to day. You said he barely goes out and works to support a soon to be family of 5 so you can "study" and stay home. Have a lazy day what's the issue, it's a one off

Lollypop267 · 13/12/2024 06:53

Neither of you is being unreasonable here, you're obviously struggling but given you've said yourself he barely goes out and is generally very hands on I think a few hours for a football match occasionally is fair enough.

However, you should expect the same for yourself. A break, doesn't have to be expensive as another poster has suggested even just a few hours at the cinema or a coffee and cake to relax.

Martymcfly24 · 13/12/2024 06:53

I had a similar situation with my second except the match was abroad. I was 34 weeks and an opportunity arose unexpectedly for him to go two days later.

I actually said fine at the time and he was very grateful because it was such a huge opportunity .

Busbygirl · 13/12/2024 06:53

YABU
You’ve said your DH hardly goes out and you still want to stop him going to the match!
Would he stop you going out?
I think it would do you both good to go out occasionally, separately or together.

GrumpyCactus · 13/12/2024 06:53

Yes I think you're being unreasonable. If he never goes out and the one time he asks to do so you say no then that does sound quite controlling. You're both entitled to time out to do hobbies or go places and if he wouldn't have an issue with you doing the same I think it's unfair to say he can't go. I appreciate you feel exhausted but you have young kids and that shouldn't mean neither of you get any time to do stuff outside the house.

Jellybean85 · 13/12/2024 06:54

Sorry I think you're a bit tight here I know how hard it is but he needs a bit of down time and so do you, he does the match one day you go for a swim or something the other?

3luckystars · 13/12/2024 06:55

I think he is an adult and should be able to do something nice for himself, and so can you. You will be walking around your new home someday but you don’t want it to be full of resentment.

SuperfluousHen · 13/12/2024 06:56

NAY0110 · 13/12/2024 06:48

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I need to know AIBU here because I am fuming. I am almost 6 months pregnant with my 3rd child. My children are 6 and almost 2, so very dependent and at the moment I am really exhausted all time balancing home life and Uni and a pregnancy. My partner and I have had discussions about trying to buy our first home and save. He works full time , pays his way and hardly ever goes out and is a really good hands on dad. This weekend he has told me his colleague has a spare ticket to go and watch the football and I have asked if he minds declining as I am burnt out. I haven't got any support , i mean NONE and I need him to help me as my 2 year old is very active. He has kicked off saying I am controlling him and that I don't let him have a life which has upset me. This is not the case at all and I would never stop him from going out I just feel so worn out plus we're supposed to be saving and i have been very disciplined

AIBU?

“and I would never stop him from going out”

except you are.

YABU

TwinklyAmberOrca · 13/12/2024 06:58

Yabu.

It's one day and he rarely goes out so 100%YABU.

Just leave the kids with him on another day and get some rest. Just not the football day.

Eenameenadeeka · 13/12/2024 06:59

"I would never stop him going out" on a post about how he'd like to go out, and you told him you don't want him to....
If he's a great hands on Dad who hardly ever goes out, yeah you're unreasonable.
If you feel you need a break, then ask for some time to rest or do your own thing at the weekend as well. But he also deserves some time to himself.

Sassybooklover · 13/12/2024 07:00

You say he never goes out, is a really good partner and Dad. I am assuming this is a Home match, and therefore isn't traveling 3 hours to an Away match? There needs some compromise here. The ticket has arisen, and it's probably not something he goes to all the time? Providing he's not planning on coming home pissed, and not capable of parenting, then he should go. However, he is solely in charge of the children on Sunday, as you need complete rest and possibly before he leaves to go to the match!!

Microgal · 13/12/2024 07:03

But surely he’ll only be gone for the day depending on where the match is?

Gettoachiro · 13/12/2024 07:04

Yabu

Original poster

NAY0110 · 13/12/2024 07:06

somuchtodonextyear · 13/12/2024 06:53

Yeah you are being unreasonable and a bit precious to be honest. How do you think single parents manage? You have one child at school and that just leaves the one at home day to day. You said he barely goes out and works to support a soon to be family of 5 so you can "study" and stay home. Have a lazy day what's the issue, it's a one off

Fair, I have been a single parent so I am aware. My 6 year old is autistic so it is very full on , I'm studying a degree so I do find it intense but I guess that's my issue. I do take this on board though I do not want to suffocate him any usual circumstances I would of usually been all for it. Maybe I am being selfish and I am not disputing that which is why I wanted a second opinion and I am adult enough to accept if I have done something wrong

OP posts:

WatchOutForBabyHaggis · 13/12/2024 07:07

Surely you can manage alone for an afternoon? Yabu. Pull your big girl pants up.

Evaka · 13/12/2024 07:11

NAY0110 · 13/12/2024 07:06

Fair, I have been a single parent so I am aware. My 6 year old is autistic so it is very full on , I'm studying a degree so I do find it intense but I guess that's my issue. I do take this on board though I do not want to suffocate him any usual circumstances I would of usually been all for it. Maybe I am being selfish and I am not disputing that which is why I wanted a second opinion and I am adult enough to accept if I have done something wrong

Show quote history

Fair play for being reflective OP. I hope you get some rest. Can you do the bare min until you can tap out and have quality downtime at the weekend? Hope your partner enjoys the game x

EmpressOfTheThread · 13/12/2024 07:12

I'm going to agree with pp, he should go to the match.
When you discussed having the 3rd child, I'm sure you factored in all these issues, and it'll be extra demanding when the new baby is here.
You should both be able to have a bit of time out without the other being resentful.