What would you do on Christmas Day?

[cattuccino]

Scenario A - spend Christmas Day at home with husband, who doesn't 'do' Christmas apart from a roast dinner. He will spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films etc, with no desire to celebrate the day or do anything special. You usually stay at home as you feel bad leaving him alone on Christmas Day, so you will be watching Christmas tv and maybe going for a walk (alone). You would then visit family on Boxing Day.

Scenario B - spend Christmas Day with your parents and siblings, plus some wider family. Have a big meal together with them and maybe play board games, have fun chatting etc.
However husband would not come with you for this (so it may appear strange to others) and you would have a 100 mile round trip (driving) to get there.

What would you do?

B
(Prob stay over if optional) Is "just one day" bla bla bla.... Better one day of making memories than not.

B - obviously if he does what he wants, why shouldn’t you?

B an if possible stay over. Don't waste a Christmas when you could be with loved ones .

B absolutely. Plus staying overnight, or a few days depending on how you get on with family.

But he is spending it in another room gaming so they aren't together anyway.

B, definitely. In fact in my first marriage I did B quite a few years. ExH didn't 'believe' in Xmas and he wouldn't let me put up decs or play music. However, his 'not believing' most years didn't extend to not going for a nice dinner and getting gifts from my family. He'd eat, pout, and leave. Other years he refused to go, which I actually preferred. I'd go to my folks and have a wonderful time. Of course, I was treated to pouting when I got home but I didn't care.

He's an ex for many reasons. Xmas is just one of them.

@cattuccino I refuse to believe that Xmas is the only time your H acts like a selfish ass. I think you need to sit down and think carefully about your marriage in its totality and why you put up with him. Life's too short to put up with shit because we're afraid of what others may think.

A - coz some of us like xmas and other stuff that way. If you prefer to go to your DP then you should... the only thing stopping you is you.

B of course. Sounds as if he’s no company at all, even to watch telly together, and he won’t notice if you’re there or not . But really OP, is he like this all the time? Because I couldn’t live with someone like that. Surely you deserve better.

Definitely B

B - and be honest with family about why you chose this option.
Don't feel bad about not being with him - after all he only seems to think about himself.
I'd then reassess the marriage - is this how you envisaged it would be?
Hope you have a lovely time with family.

B and I'd be staying over so I could get Christmas day pissed 😂

B without a doubt

B
Go to your family and stay over to make the most of your time
DH can stay and game alone.
Sounds like he might not even notice you'd gone.

I hate my family so technically would be A but in your situation I would choose B because I wouldn't be happy spending the day at home with someone who spent the day shut away playing Xbox

Me and my dh are child free but stay at home over Christmas and watch films and I cook

OP why on earth have you married a man who would "spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films"? Sounds like a giant man-child, not a partner

B for sure. He doesn't seem to be too worried about spending it with you if he's just sitting in his computer room all day, so I wouldn't prioritize being with him over your own enjoyment of the day, A sounds really sad. Does he help cook the meal? Or is it just you cooking alone while he sits at the computer...

B, why do you feel bad for him being on his own? Do you ever visit your family without him on a random Tuesday in March? If Christmas day to him is a "normal" day then if you don't feel bad on a Tuesday why feel bad on Christmas day, he doesn't care. Enjoy yourself with your family and let him enjoy himself with his xbox

Edited for typo

You do whatever option YOU want to do.

B, you would have a much better time

B.

I probably wouldn’t stay over unless I wanted to drink or there was something unusual about the journey. It’s 50 miles each way with a big break in the middle. Roads are normally pretty empty on Christmas Day so it should be an easy drive. But staying over if you want to drink or just don’t fancy the drive is a good option.

C - book into a nice hotel close to family with husband, eat Christmas dinner in the restaurant with husband, then all go and spend the evening with family! Don’t let the husband pack the games console, and don’t spend your Christmas Day cooking dinner for someone who doesn’t appreciate your efforts!

B. leave misery guts on his own.

Wow can you imagine what he’d be like with kids involved

B, stay over and don't worry about what others think about husband and what others think

I'd bugger off and leave him to it.