What would you do on Christmas Day?

[cattuccino]

Scenario A - spend Christmas Day at home with husband, who doesn't 'do' Christmas apart from a roast dinner. He will spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films etc, with no desire to celebrate the day or do anything special. You usually stay at home as you feel bad leaving him alone on Christmas Day, so you will be watching Christmas tv and maybe going for a walk (alone). You would then visit family on Boxing Day.

Scenario B - spend Christmas Day with your parents and siblings, plus some wider family. Have a big meal together with them and maybe play board games, have fun chatting etc.
However husband would not come with you for this (so it may appear strange to others) and you would have a 100 mile round trip (driving) to get there.

What would you do?

Absolutely go to family. My DH is a grinch but me and adult DCs offset his grumpiness. The first Christmas the DC come home I will either book DH and I a cruise or visit family without him.

Dh has definitely got more curmudgeonly as he has aged. I don't bother covering for him at events he has declined. If anyone asks where he is I tell them the truth - he's staying at home because he's an anti-social old git.

I know people might say LTB but at home together we get on great. I don't need him reluctantly accompanying me to social events or on holidays I am happy to attend solo.

I'd go to my parents on Christmas Eve and come back on Boxing Day. I'd leave my husband at home, scratching his balls in his underpants. On the trip back I'd consider how I wanted 2025 to be.

B
Then divorce him in the New Year?

B. If anything your husband sounds like he'd enjoy being alone as less pressure to do Christmas things. Don't deprive yourself of a nice family Christmas that you enjoy for something he hasn't asked for (or even if he has, if he'd spend most of the day in a separate room from you then he doesn't actually deserve or require your company!).

B. Merry Christmas

I would spend morning with husband then go to family. Which is exactly what I'm doing because partner hates Christmas, doesn't do Christmas and I'm fed up of being miserable by myself in the same house as Scrooge pretending I like it.

Look I hate the enforced merriment of Christmas. It starts to early and goes on way to long by the time it gets to Dec 25th I am done with it and would perfectly happy ignoring it.

But if my partner wanted to spend time with their family I would not begrudge them. If you feel bad but he doesn’t care then that’s on you. If he is making you feel bad, then that’s very much on him.

Your husband doesn’t celebrate Xmas - you do , so B lets you both spend the day as you wish .

Why would you feel bad leaving him when he will spend all day in another room ignoring you? He won't miss you.

It's a no brainer to me. Option B definitely.

C. Divorce

He sounds awful. Nobody has to like Christmas, but some effort to spend time together should be the minimum you’d expect from him.

B it's not like Christmas means anything to him. Whereas I'd hate to be left. But otherwise you are sacrificing your special day.

I know a couple of people who don't "do" christmas and nobody bats an eyelid. It's just "say hi to them for me, hopefully catch up soon".

B. I'd stay Christmas Eve and Christmas night. Maybe Boxing Day too then drive back after Boxing Day tea. Tell family that all is well, he's fine, he just doesn't celebrate Christmas much and you do so it makes sense to be with family.

Promise not to feel guilty. It really is okay to do things you want to do and not constantly meet his needs and deny your own. As long as everyone is happy, ditch the guilt and have fun.

you should have done a vote! B for sure.

Your DH can’t ‘do’ one day? Umm, ok.

If you want to be with fellow celebrators, away from the Grunch, choose plan B.

Why would you stay home only to be left on your own by him, even though he's in the same house as you? It's his choice not to celebrate, but you also have a choice to celebrate how you want to.

Does he have family who celebrate Christmas?

B

I assume he wouldn't mind?

Just explain he doesn't enjoy Christmas. Not everyone does.

B but I would stay over

Option B, with a stay in a hotel or B&B local to them, if they don’t have enough room.

B Spend a few days with your family and do it every year.

Assumming your husband likes Christmas how will you celebrate the 2 of you? Or would you idea scenario that he comes with you to see your family?

Anyway, he seems a boring man so why do you have to sacrifice yourself for him if he can’t make an effort for what you like and enjoy?

Other option and have and early lunch or brunch with him and head to your family after for games, tv, stay overnight

B then join the thousands of others who file for divorce in January after a crap Christmas with a useless partner!

Definitely A - I would have missed my mum on Christmas Day, but I would never want to spend the day away from my husband.

Even if he was a miserable fucker?

@magicalmrmistoffelees He is, and isn't at all Christmassy, but I would hate being apart.