AIBU to feel a bit fobbed off by response to complaint?

[SummerBaby8]

Sorry for long post, trying to give context.

I attended a&e at 9 weeks pregnant due to dehydration. I’m in my 30’s and my partner is listed as my next of kin. My mother became aware of my admission and contacted a&e. The treating Dr informed my mother I was pregnant. I had not and did not intend to disclose my pregnancy to family for various reasons.

Dr immediately realised their error and informed me. I was very unwell but expressed how upset I was. Following this my partner had to leave for work. When I woke, my mother had attended and been informed of where I was and allowed to sit and wait for me to wake.

Following my discharge, I submitted a complaint. The hospital completed an investigation but didn’t contact me to ask about the impact this has had on me as part of this. Their response is that the Dr is sorry and has been spoken to.

Whilst I understand the pressures the NHS are facing and that people make mistakes, and cannot undo what has been done, AIBU to feel their response is a bit half hearted?

What did you want from your complaint?

What would you like to have happened instead?

Are you seeking compensation?

The doctors apologised.

Not sure what you want.

What do you want more than an apology and an admission of a mistake occurring?

I agree. There is literally nothing else to do. The dr will no doubt reflect on the error and not make that mistake again. Quite rightly,

Would it help if they tie the doctor to a post and have everyone kick her? They acknowledged a mistake was made and you got an apology...

Had you told anyone that you didn't want your mother present or had it documented in your pregnancy record? Seriously though, the next person would be complaining if their partner had to leave and their family member wasn't allowed through to support them....

These threads always get dickhead obtuse responses.

I'd be appalled at that tby, and funny enough, I wouldn't be "expecting" money, but I'd be expecting a damn sight more than "oopsie, he said sorry tho, so get over it, shit happens"

How about acknowledging the distress to OP and even paying lip service to "updating internal guidance"(that they won't even do) to reassure rather than dismiss?

Other than speaking to the doctor and apologising what else do you want? It seems a suitable outcome to me.

I think I just wanted them to hear what the impact was on me of the breach and hopefully hear the Dr had been asked to complete further training on patient confidentiality as maybe they genuinely did not understand the possible consequences or process.

Did you complain through PALS? Can you go back to them to express how you feel and see if they can offer any further help with the complaint?

Ok - what would “being heard” have looked like to you?

The training on confidentiality does not include any information about the impact on patients. It is literally dry as hell and only focuses on legal obligations and relevant processes. I don't think completing more training would have led to the outcome you were hoping for.
As far as impact on you, did you include it in your original complaint? If so, they would already have this information and decided that, on balance of probability, there was no need to put you trough further trauma of recalling this incident. If you don't agree with their decision, you can contact PALS again and they can advice you of further steps.
But on balance, a mistake happened, was realised and the apology was issued. In most cases this would be the end of the matter. The Dr also likely had a supervision meeting where this was discussed in some detail but you wouldn't be privy to that.

A massive apology and an acknowledgement that the actions of the doctor were unacceptable.

What happened to the OP was awful and in some circumstances could put someone in danger.

I agree with you, and a bare minimum would be to expect a note attached to your medical records that no-one except your named next of kin is ever to be informed and an assurance that their policies/training had been updated.
Its a massive breach, I suspect if it had been an abusive ex who had got the info and not your mother mumsnet wouldn't be so blasé. Their procedures could have seriously endangered someone

I respond to nhs complaints for a job. There is nothing else they can say but sorry. The doctor will reflect and discuss as part of revalidation and will ensure IG training is up to date. Also the Trust should add a note to your record stating that you do not want your mother involved. Not a lot else they can add.

What was the impact on you?

What do you actually mean by this? A physical note like a post it on the front?
Or an alert on e record, that is only applicable to the that trust, so the OP goes to another trust and no one sees it?

I don't understand this sort of question.

Deliberately obtuse?

As a nurse, I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sure the doctor felt dreadful and will remember their mistake for years to come. The sick awful feeling when you make a balls up like this is terrible and lasts for weeks. If it’s any consolation the doctor will definitely not feel any worse hearing your account- they’ll be gutted they let you down. When they say ‘spoken to’ it often means bollocked in an office.

We have to do training every year. Sometimes shifts feel like a social nightmare trying to remember who knows what? Who talks to who? Which family members can’t be together etc etc. Slip of the tongue and you’ve leg the cat out of the bag.

Perhaps contact PALS if you feel the repercussions weren’t satisfactory for you. I hope your feeling better.

But it wasn't an abusive ex and we cannot really operate with hypothetical scenarios here.
The policy and training does not need to be updated. There is mandatory training that Dr is obligated to keep on top of and whether it is in date was likely checked as a result of this complaint. The policy is also quite clear. The problem is that the Dr made a mistake by not adhering to the policy. Yes, it is a serious mistake but, in this case, it did not lead to serious consequences. It did cause OP distress for which the Dr and the Trust apologised.
I just really don't see what more could have been done.
A note? Well, again, there is no such thing as "the NHS computer". A note may well have been put in on a local system. But that is only accessible in the same trust.

The OP has said she wants them to hear about the impact it has had on her, but she hasn't told us what that impact was?

The OP has said her mother became aware she was in a&e and was given info about her condition - had the OP specifically said no info to be given out?

This must have been so distressing for you.What happened to the normal "patient is comfortable" comments.
I think you should respond saying how you feel or asking for a meeting.

Sounds like you just want to stick the knife in quite honestly.

But what if they aren't comfortable? Should staff now lie?

@SummerBaby8 think about it: what do you want them to do? You were not harmed, and you probably should focus on healthier habits - dehydration is something pretty much in your control.

They can’t untell your mother. What - concretely - can they do that you would be satisfied with?

I imagine it was a busy A&E, and maybe they didn’t have your notes. Is your non-contact with your family on your notes?

It was human error and probably done with the best intentions for your care - so that you had a family member with you and if they couldn’t get hold of your DH or he wasn’t available, most pregnant women might want their mother!