AIBU to feel a bit fobbed off by response to complaint?

[SummerBaby8]

Sorry for long post, trying to give context.

I attended a&e at 9 weeks pregnant due to dehydration. I’m in my 30’s and my partner is listed as my next of kin. My mother became aware of my admission and contacted a&e. The treating Dr informed my mother I was pregnant. I had not and did not intend to disclose my pregnancy to family for various reasons.

Dr immediately realised their error and informed me. I was very unwell but expressed how upset I was. Following this my partner had to leave for work. When I woke, my mother had attended and been informed of where I was and allowed to sit and wait for me to wake.

Following my discharge, I submitted a complaint. The hospital completed an investigation but didn’t contact me to ask about the impact this has had on me as part of this. Their response is that the Dr is sorry and has been spoken to.

Whilst I understand the pressures the NHS are facing and that people make mistakes, and cannot undo what has been done, AIBU to feel their response is a bit half hearted?

That's awful, I'm sorry. Definitely an inadequate response and I understand why you're so upset.

Patients shouldn't have to request that normal confidentiality is observed.

The dehydration was caused by hyperemesis, although I wasn’t aware of that at the time.
My partner was present and contactable throughout- he didn’t leave until early hours of the morning and returned a few hours later.
I had stated it was only my partner I wanted things to be discussed with.
Without wanting to share too much, our relationship isn’t accepted by all of our families and we had not decided what to do in relation to the pregnancy. We had wanted time to make choices ourselves without family knowing. My mother being informed meant that other family were then informed and pressures etc.
I do completely understand a&e is busy and mistakes happen, I just wish the Dr would’ve popped in to double check, but I understand hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I worked in a Patient Experience team as a complaints officer for a number of years. Even if your complaint has been answered, you’re entitled to request a meeting. You should have been told that when you complained.
You won’t be told if the doctor receives any training or a disciplinary etc but they should be willing to arrange a face-to-face and hear you out.

Yes, this isn't on.

For the first instance, the Dr seemed to make an easy mistake and was well intentioned. When they realised they were immediately upfront with you. The hospital said they've spoken to them, but I doubt this doctor will need much reminding in future. I'm sure they are mortified.

The fact that even after that your mother was able to enter and stay with you while you were a asleep is a much bigger issue than 1 medic making a genuine mistake on a busy ward and I think it does warrant a more thorough review on whether they need to update their visitor policy, because it sounds like no one has done anything particularly wrong but it was still allowed to happen.

How did your mother become aware that you were at A&E?

Seems like a whole catalogue of errors!

Not ok to blame someone for a medical problem - hyperemesis is not easy to control, many women are hospitalised.

My experience of UK medicine in general and the NHS in particular is that they hide behind 'lessons learned' but real world accountability is never going to be applied by the system.

Report the doctor directly to the GMC under a fitness to practice complaint. It's the only way these cunts learn.

@InveterateWineDrinker awful post.

So I used to have to respond to complaints as part of my NHS post. Our Trust insists we make contact with the complainant and meet with them as part of our response. Most people do want to feel heard and I always respected that.

It is a breach of confidentiality and for you it has caused unnecessary distress. The person responding to the complaint should have met with you and apologized directly!

I work for a mental health Trust, I am always surprised how different things are in general Trusts!

You shouldn't have to list everyone you don't want present

How absolutely ridiculous. So because a busy doctor made a mistake (not a medical mistake) you think it’s right to abuse them verbally, assert that they are unfit to practise and demand that they are struck off, ruining their life?

I assume you are perfect and have never made any error in your work…

most pregnant women might want their mother! that's the damaging assumption though. Those that don't want their mother will be rightly pissed off if their mother is allowed an update on their care.

I agree with you.

No-one's saying you should have to list "everyone", but it’s pretty unusual for a patient not to want their mother to be allowed in to see them.

But why? You are just wasting peoples time.

No, just worked with a lot of consultants who genuinely believe - with good reason, unfortunately - that they needn't concern themselves with anything as grubby as the law, never mind Trust policies, good practice, or any other niceties. For many of them, the ONLY threat is the one to their wallet.

How do you know it was a consultant, let alone an arrogant one? And even if it was, you haven’t answered my question about whether you think it was a mistake so terrible as to warrant the ending of their career.

I take it that if you ever make a mistake at work for which you immediately apologise you will think it’s only right to have your career ended and your life ruined.

A patient's right to confidentiality is a longstanding principle in medicine.

The doctor made a mistake. They've acknowledged that and apologised.

To be honest though I think the real issue is your mother overstepping. If you didn't want her involved how did she know where you were? She overstepped by phoning and asking for information and then by actually turning up at the hospital. If you didn't want her doing this it's your mother you really need a conversation with about personal privacy.

The OP has said she didn't want her family to know for various reasons and I'm guessing that it's because her mum/family have got previous for being cunts, whatever the reason I'm sure the OP has her own valid reason and not everyone has a mother like Mary Poppins.
Some right nobheads on here

They made a mistake not once, by informing your mother thus breaching patient confidentiality, but then letting her sit with you against your express wishes. Respond to the report in writing, have your say on the impact and request a meeting to follow up your complaint. You will probably still feel unheard but it is important to have this on record.

Yes I do understand that, but I’m prepared to believe that there may have been reasons that medical staff felt that the OP needed someone there. To be hospitalised for dehydration suggests the OP isn’t capable of taking care of herself properly.

How do you know it was a consultant, let alone an arrogant one? And even if it was, you haven’t answered my question about whether you think it was a mistake so terrible as to warrant the ending of their career.

Well, self evidently I do not know that it was a consultant. But I do know that consultants are responsible for the junior doctors they supervise.

As for whether it was terrible enough to warrant the ending of a career... as a one off, probably not. If it's part of a pattern of blindness to the concept of patient confidentiality, or indeed a pattern of utter contempt for the same then it probably is. In the UK, the GMC is the arbiter of that decision and unless they know about the patterns...

OP, report the doctor. Do not trust the NHS on this. They look after themselves first.

https://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns

@YellowAsteroid you can’t help being dehydrated with hyperemesis for goodness sake. It’s not a sign of somebody ‘not looking after themselves’ it’s just a ‘very unwell pregnant patient’!