To not want to get MIL anything for Xmas this year?

[PippaKing]

I know how heartless that sounds but I'm 6 years in with DP and not a Christmas has gone by where she hasn't moaned about what we've bought her...

• Didn't like the fact one year that she hadn't got a gift specifically from her granddaughter (she was 4 at the time)
• Didn't like the joint present we got her & FIL one year. It was a hamper that DP spent over £100 on, with thoughtful food & drinks inside from nice garden centres etc. She said she didn't like joint gifts.
• Bought her Swarovski earrings one year. Made a side comment to DP that 'she would have preferred diamond earrings'
• Bought an experience voucher another year to go for afternoon tea. Told us she didn't like 'experience' gifts
• One year said she didn't want anything, was very adamant, so DP bought her a lovely seasonal bouquet of flowers as a nice gesture. She said the quality of them was terrible, rung up the company and complained about them it in front of us.

I can't even remember the other one but she's never happy...

I can see your point but surely it has to be up to your husband, it's his relationship with his mum that's at stake?

I'm not getting my MIL anything for Christmas this year. Last year I got her a gift and she hasn't even taken it out of the box. I've told SIL if she wants it, take it so it doesn't go to waste.
MILs birthday is a few days before Christmas so she'll get a small birthday gift and that's it. I'm sick of wasting my time & money on her.

I wouldn't bother either. I would probably leave DP to buy her something token and ignore the moans afterwards. You just can't please some people. My MIL moans just for the sake of it and doesn't like any presents unless she's picked it and it is expensive.

If your MIL is never happy with anything, then absolutely give her nothing.
Or give a donation to charity in her name, that would probably get a reaction. Infact it would be quite funny (and petty!) to deliberately go out of your way to get her crap to moan about and view it in amusing way. I would definitely stop the decent presents that you have been getting her that she’s totally ungrateful for.

I'm guessing that it's not only Christmas and birthdays she brings out this sort of behaviour. How do you deal with her the rest of the year? What sort of presents does she get you?

I think I'd go with a decent box of chocolates ( bought by DH) and forget it. She can have a tantrum if she wants but she will anyway, so save yourselves the money and effort.

DH can get her a gift if it's important to him

Just leave it up to your DH and make a game of it it in your head. What will she find to moan about this year. Then award yourself a point if you get it right and convert the point (and any others you accumulate playing weird relative bingo) into a prize at the end of the day. A Toblerone is a nice prize.

Brilliant!

Agree with pp, let this be your DHs task. Step back and focus your energy on your people and friends. People who complain about thoughtful gifts in front of the giver are just classless and don't deserve your mental effort going forward.

Tell DH to get her something you want. When she complains say "Oh I am sorry, we always get it wrong, I will take that away." Be insistent. Use the thing in front of her at all opportunities.

Get her a voucher. Solved!

Buy her a journal to write in and get the front inscribed "My complaints book".

Then every time she complains, you can just say, 'Put in the complaints book MIL'

I had an Aunt like that (who I always thanked for her annual gift of bath salts in a pink or gold box from Debenhams). Whatever I got her, it was the wrong thing. After 30 or so years of it I just cracked and wrote to her saying how fed up I was with her being ungrateful and rude about my presents, and adding that I didn't like what she sent me either.
She took it surprisingly well, and said that in future we should each buy ourselves something from the other.
I'm not recommending that in relation to your MIL, but I'd suggest tackling the problem head on. Eg, Look, MIL, we never manage to get you anything you like. How about we stop exchanging gifts and give a donation to our favourite charities instead? Or you could tell us what your favourite wine is and we'll get you a bottle of that. OK?
And ditto with your FIL, unless he's more appreciative.

Just buy something you like, and offer to take it off her hands when she moans.

Leave it to DP. And then when she moans I would just say oh mil you always moan about what we get you, so I think it’s time to stop presents now.

This. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Please get her a goat/cow in Africa just to see her face 🤣

What about a gift card, if she's so fussy. Or nothing, if she's so ungrateful.

I'm so annoyed about having to buy both birthday and Christmas gifts for grown up sister and brothers and SILs and BILs. And getting unwanted gifts in return.

If everyone could just agree maybe not to give gifts, it would be a lot easier

I believe Tesco are selling "Grinch" pajamas...maybe buy her a pair? 🤭

She seems like hard work. And such expensive nice gifts too that you bith have put a lot of thought into.

Leave it to your husband, I wouldn't bother.

I'd get your partner to ring her and ask her specifically what she wants. If she won't give ideas, he should say to her that she usually seems unhappy with his gifts and wouldn't she prefer something she actually wanted or should they just decide not to buy for adults in the future? I think honesty is the best policy here. No point wasting time and money.

Get her an adopted donkey!

And if she doesn’t like donkeys how about an elephant/rhino/tiger/gorilla? It appears from all of the adverts you can adopt any animal you want.
Although I was slightly disappointed to learn that you don’t get to actually keep the animal just a cuddly toy. I quite fancied a tiger, thought it would liven up Christmas.

She's not even your MIL if you're not married to your DP, so don't even bother. DP can buy her gift just from him or on behalf of the both of you if you don't want it to look petty.

If you're buying for her on behalf of both you and DP then seriously stop, it's his moany mother, so leave it for him to deal with.

I've reached that point with FIL.
He has a November birthday, this year I told dh to just take him out for a drink. Even that turned into a moan-fest. Too busy/too loud/ stuff I need to do.

Lump of coal for Xmas it is.