My daughters father mess up her routine

[DenimBird]

My daughter goes to her dad's 3 times a week
She's 11 months old. She usually goes over there at 3pm-7.30

Now when my baby is with me and not seeing her dad I find her routine is amazing, wake up, breakfast, play, then a nap about 12 noon-2pm, then she stays awake for rest of the day, playing, having dinner, watching tv, having a bath, bed time bottle etc and she's usually Zzzzzzz by 8pm. Perfect!

Now when her dad has her, he picks her up after her afternoon nap. So basically she goes to him fresh as a daisy. Now everytime she is with him he texts me and says she's really tired or she's falling asleep etc at around about 5-6pm. So I tell him can you keep her awake then please, play with her, talk to her etc

Her father lives with his mother still. And when he has the baby he lounges about watching tv for majority of his time with her. I had to tell him a few months back to stop letting her nap after 3pm, as her bedtime is 7-8 pm.

Now today he's messaged me at 6pm saying "the babys fallen asleep in my mums arms, she's really tired so my mum is cuddling her" I told him to take the baby off of his mother and keep her awake. There is no way she should be napping at 6 in the evening. Anyways we've had a full blown argument over it and I've told him every single time he has our daughter it makes my life harder, she comes back wide awake, and doesn't go down to sleep until 11 o'clock at night at times for me, all because those idiots let her sleep their whole visit away.

He uses the pram that I bought for her. I basically provide everything, pram, car seat, essentials, he doesn't have anything at his home that belongs to the baby.

If he's working full time, the minimum you should get is £220 a month.

He claims benefits and works cash in hand, I've made a CM claim. I'll probably end up getting £5 a week at best

On benefits it's £7 a week. I would report him to HMRC and DWP though. He's stealing. From you and from tax payers.

Do you think you could approach his mum? You might have to play it sly so you aren't criticising him directly but you could say "oh Maureen, I've got myself all worried reading stuff about cancer risks for babies exposed to second hand smoke - do you know if Steve smokes around the baby at all? Apparently it's really bad even if they smoke away from them but are wearing the same clothes etc" "Maureen, I'm worried that Sophie seems super tired recently, it's not normal for her to need a nap at 5pm, can you think of any reason it's happening?"

Now, she likely won't say "yes he does all the time" but she might also have it out with him?