150 quid a head for a leaving do?

[Anycrispsleft]

We have a colleague from our team of about 10 who is leaving for another job. He's been there for years - I think it was his first job out of uni. Usually when someone leaves we have a collection in the whole department and people chip in about 5 or 10 euro and they get a present, and we go out for a meal with them and pay their meal but it's like maybe 30 quid a head.

Now I've just been invited to a group chat where two of my colleagues have come up with an idea for the leaving do to go to a local Michelin starred restaurant and have the tasting and wine tasting menu there for 150 euro a head. Our boss agreed, and then they shared the chat with the rest of us, including an apprentice, a placement student and one of our colleagues who's on a much lower pay grade and has got young kids.

There's no bloody way I'm forking out 150 quid for to sit and eat dinner with my colleagues - christ, for DH's 50th we didn't spend that much - but I'm wondering if I should try and word my reply in a sort of "have you really thought this through" sort of way in case some of our colleagues are going to feel pressured into saying yes?

I'm still kind of gobsmacked about it - I keep thinking about it. My DH is in a bit fancier job than me, same industry, and his lot just got together at someone's house to have fondue for their Christas thing. Chipped in for wine and ingredients and that was it (he's come home last night and his jacket was reeking of smelly cheese but it has to stink a little, as they say round here)

It would be 150 bucks!

Still too much...

I always get suspicious of these extravagant 'leaving do's' It wouldn't surprise me that this venue has been picked to reduce the numbers (when normal people wouldn't spend that for someone they may never see again!) and when the bill is presented its paid for on expenses. And that cost I expect will also be increased with the service charge and water, coffees etc. added on. it would be a no from me too!!

Great idea, it makes it easier for others who are struggling to say this to follow suit.

Good for you, I think that's exactly the right response.

It’d def. be a no thanks from me! Quite apart from anything else, those high-end ‘tasting’ menus are IMO vastly overpriced - and overrated! - for what you get. And yes, I have had a few, inc. in France.

Well done OP. I would have been mortified if colleagues had been asked to pay that amount for my leaving do. We had a picnic and people brought whatever they wanted, it was special and lovely.

I'd have put a message in the chat right away saying Sorry that's a silly amount of money to be spending for a leaving do as it sets a precedent to be spending that much every time someone leaves. We can still do a collection and have a few drinks as usual.

Also with these places, they usually wack on a service charge. 15% ish plus!

I suspect they don't actually care about the rest of the people coming and this is a way to thin the numbers.

Recently the company I worked for farked out 14k for a leaving do.
If it's on the company then great. If not then run.

I think you might be right and I think I would definitely be on the list of people they'd want to leave out!

Yes that’s ridiculous and I’d not be paying that. I have sometimes found that the instigator colleague in these scenarios often doesn’t have a social circle in their personal life so is happy to pay over the odds for these things because it’s the only thing they’ll do for months which I get, but it’s not for me and wouldn’t be for the majority.

This is the kind of thing that gets suggested from time to time where I work. I have a few colleagues who have no friends or social life outside of work, so they try to make colleagues do things that other people would normally only do with close friends or family. I just decline every time.

Madness and totally inappropriate expectation. The organisation you work for should know better than to put people in this position, if they sanctioned it they should fund it!

This actually sounds like a way of leaving certain people out. They'll know full well who can/can't/won't afford that sort of money, but opening it up to everyone makes them look nice by extending the invite to everyone.

This.

And I bet with drinks it would come to more in any case. Well done OP.

I retired after 25 years with a company and no way would I expect my former colleagues to be forking out that much, especially right before Xmas. Major rethink needed - unless the company is paying?

This is outrageous.
I'd email the management (as many as are or might be involved ) saying that you will not be coming, and that you will certainly not be the only member of staff who can't afford this kind of money for a leaving do, and that it excludes a fair number of this employee's team who would want to be present to say goodbye to him.
If some of the better paid members of the team want an expensive meal out together that's fine, but they should arrange it as personal friends.

😵‍💫

How very odd. At our place leaving dos are usually just drinks at the pub - everyone buys their own.

If a very senior or very long serving colleague (ie 20 plus years and/or a director) is leaving then work will usually pay for some cake, nibbles and drinks at the leaving speach.

We recently had a long serving director retire and THEY paid for free glasses of champagne for everyone at their own leaving drinks. Which TBH, is the usual way round.

We do a collection for a gift & card, and pay for the person's meal out of it too.
Most people leaving choose a set menu, deal type thing which is pretty cheap, because of this at our place.
You might find that the leaver also can't afford the £150!

Think my reply would have been " You're having a laugh, right?!"....

Polite response, OP.

I suspect I'd have been even blunter - maybe "£150!! 😲" followed by "BackJack has left the chat" 😂